A Love Lost
“I think I messed up.”
“What makes you think that?”
“I told Natalie I was going to give Melody a chance. She hasn’t talked to me since.”
“Beck, you dropped a huge fucking load on her. She’s not just going to be okay about it. You really hurt her.”
“I know I did but I had to make a choice.”
“I know and you chose Melody. So, now you’re just going to have to deal with the outcome.”
“Oh Jessie, you’re such a good friend.”
“Shut up. I’m trying to be supportive. You know I’m not Melody’s number one fan but I’m here for you.”
“Thanks. No really, thank you. It means a lot to me that you’re still here beside me after everything we’ve been through…plus the fact that I’m gay.”
“Beck, I told you already. I don’t care if you’re gay. I’d love you either way.”
“Ha! That rhymed. And I love you too buddy.”
“Thanks. Wait; don’t you have to work today?”
“Nope. I’m off. Lee has to work.”
“Oh. I might go by and see him. After all, he’s been a little distant lately.”
I looked at Jessie, who was leaning against my bed, running her hand up and down my cast. She smiled at me as I smiled back before staring up at the ceiling.
“I have to go talk to Mel today,” I said, looking back down at her. She just nodded, continuing to rub my cast.
“What are you doing?” I asked, laughing when she hummed at me. “Imagining what it would be like to wear one of these” she replied. I chuckled as she laughed with me.
“Don’t. It sucks! I hate wearing this thing and it hasn’t even been a month yet” I groaned. “Poor Becky” she pouted. I instantly thought about Natalie when she said that but I shook my head, climbing off of my bed.
“Alright. I've gotta go. Are you staying?” I asked, pulling on my black jacket, turning to face her. She shook her head.
“Nope. Hope and I are going shopping and then I’m going to go see Lee” she replied. I cringed when she said the ‘S’ word and she laughed.
“That’s why you’re not coming. I know how much you hate shopping. Such a gay cliché” she joked, pecking me on the cheek as she got up.
“Thanks for sparing me the torture but I am not a gay cliché!” I exclaimed as she walked out my room. “Then explain the black jacket,” she yelled back.
“I like black!”
“You are black!”
“Love you too.”
I laughed when I heard the door shut and walked over to my parent’s bowl where they kept their car keys. Ever since my second baby got totaled, I’ve been using my dad’s truck.
I walked out the door and looked over at Natalie’s house. We only lived a block apart from each other but she continued to avoid me. I wanted to run over there and talk to her but I knew she needed her space right now, so I continued toward the car, heading to Melody’s house.
Lee leaned against the entertainment section counter and grinned when he saw Mark walking over to him.
“Dude, you will never believe what I just heard,” he exclaimed. Lee arched his eyebrows and then smiled brightly.
“Playstation′s coming out with a new console?” he asked. Mark frowned and shook his head. “No. Natalie admitted her feelings for Beck but she rejected her!” he replied.
Lee’s jaw dropped and he walked around the counter towards his friend. “What? Why would she do that? She loves Natalie!” he groaned.
“Apparently she’s serious about giving Melody a chance. I don’t know what she’s doing but I hope she does” he said, looking over at the book section.
“Hey, I’ll be back. I’m just gonna go check out some of the books” he added, walking toward the area. “Alright. Sure thing man. Hey, don’t forget. Club meeting tomorrow,” Lee yelled after him.
Mark nodded and kept walking. Lee sighed and fidgeted with his scanner. He didn’t know what was going on in Beck’s brain. Why wouldn't she choose Natalie after everything the two of them had been through this past month? It just didn’t make sense to him.
He saw Rachel walking over to him and groaned a little. He knew he messed up as soon as he had chosen to go ice skating with her.
What Beck didn’t know was that Lee had been messing around with Rachel and for quite awhile too. After he took her ice skating, they had kissed…and kissed….and kissed some more…until one thing led to another and he wound up sleeping with his new boss.
He knew what he did was wrong. Even when he snuck out the house the morning after he felt dirty. Everything he did with Rachel was a mistake and if Jessie ever found out, he would be done for.
“Hey Lee” she said, smiling at him. He sighed and looked away from her. “Hey…listen Rachel, about what happened three days ago. I’m sorry but…it was a mistake. I have a girlfriend and…I shouldn’t have led you on like that” he said, looking over at her for once.
“Lee, I’m not an idiot. Of course I know you have a girlfriend. Why would I want you if you didn’t?” she chuckled. Lee arched his eyebrows at her and scoffed.
“Wait, this whole time you knew I was taken…but you flirted with me anyway?” he asked, glaring at her.
“Well, you obviously didn’t have a probably with it because… we fucked. Sorry to burst your little bubble but it happened and it was incredible and now we can both move on,” she replied bluntly.
Lee clenched his fists and hissed at her in a low whisper as to not make a scene, “you cunning bitch! How could you do this to me? Do you know what this could mean to me? To you? To our fucking job?”
“Lee, if I remember, this was mutual. I didn’t drag you into bed with me and I’m sure as hell that I wasn’t the one on top at anytime during this relationship. You wanted it as bad as I did so please, do not try to pin this all on me,” she shot back.
Lee wanted to scream and shout at her but a gasp behind Rachel stopped him in his tracks.
“Oh fuck.” Lee turned around and saw Mark, wide-eyed and open mouthed, pointing behind Rachel.
The woman turned around and Lee felt his heart break when he saw Jessie, holding a card in her hand but it quickly dropped to the floor along with her tears.
His throat went dry as he pushed past Rachel, slowly walking toward her. “Jessie baby, I am so sorry. I’m so sorry. I…I never meant to hurt you, I just…I,” he groaned, and ran his hand through his hair.
“…Why?” Jessie asked softly, looking away from him. Lee looked over at her and felt his eyes water.
“I said tell me why you've been fucking cheated on me!” she hissed, pushing him away from her. Lee stumbled backwards but quickly caught himself.
“Jessie, I didn’t mean to…”
“No! No, that is a fucking lie and you know it! This whole time; Mark!” she yelled. Mark walked over to her and gulped.
She swirled around to look at him while pointing over at Lee. “Did you know he was cheating on me?” she asked, glaring up at him.
Mark groaned as he looked over at a distressed Lee. He nodded slowly as Jessie’s face softened; she whispered, “Does Beck?” Mark nodded again as Jessie sobbed before saying, “…Does Hope?” Once again, Mark nodded and Jessie screamed before trying to attack Lee.
Mark pulled her by the waist and Lee jumped away from her. “Jessie please! Just listen to me for a second. I know I really fucked up but I love you! I ended this for you. For us. I don’t wanna be with anyone else but you,” he said quickly, trying to hold her.
“No! Fuck you Lee. Don’t touch me!” Jessie growled, pulling away from Lee and collapsing in Mark’s arms.
He held her as her body shook with sobs. He frowned at Lee. “Jessie…I.”
“Just stop, Lee. Just…stop for today,” Mark interrupted, trying to help his friend but also comfort Jessie.
“Mark. Please get me out of here,” she cried, wrapping her arms around Mark’s neck. He nodded before picking her up in his arms to carry her out of the store.
Lee slowly walked over toward his counter and finally realized that he had a small crowd. He turned off his overhead light, signaling that he was closed, and walked toward the back.
He pushed open the men’s restroom door before collapsing against the wall, holding his chest and running his hand’s through his hair as he let the tears go.
“What the hell did I do?” he sobbed, rolling into the fetal position while wishing Jessie was still with him.