Coming Out to Friends Part II
You’re what?” Jessie exclaimed, looking in my direction before glancing back at Lee. I glared at him as his eyes widened in realization of what he said.
“Wait, I said Beck’s lay. As in, Beck’s a good lay" he replied nervously. I threw my hands up in the aair and he frowned at his error. “Ok, what the hell is that supposed to mean?” Jessie yelled.
“Ok. Fuck it. Jessie, I’m gay. I’ve been gay for a while and I’ve known I was gay since I was twelve. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you guys and Lee knows because he guessed. So did Melody-”
“Wait. Melody knew you were gay before we did?” Hope interrupted, arching her eyebrows at me while crossing her arms over her chest. I nodded.
“What the hell, Beck? I thought we were friends? Why were we out of the loop?” she asked in annoyance. Mark nodded his head in agreement.
“Wait. Hold on. So you guys don’t care that I’m gay?” I questioned, trying to make sure they knew what I was telling them.
“Of course we don’t. Beck, you’re our best friend. We love you either way and honestly, I think we all kind of knew” Jessie replied. Hope and Mark stated their agreement as well.
“Wow, Lee thanks for outing me!” I growled. He ducked his head, smiling sheepishly at me. “I’m sorry. I panicked a little” he replied.
“Don’t be mad at Lee. I guess I just got a little jealous. I mean…you guys have been spending a lot of time together lately and I just thought, wait…oh my god! You totally want Natalie!” she shrieked, hopping up and down.
“W-What? What are you talking about? No I don’t” I lied. Hope smiled and arched her eyebrows at me.
“Oh shut up Beck. It’s so clear now that I think about it. You two always hang out together and you're so flirty with her,” she teased.
“Hold on. We weren’t…flirty” I said in slight embarrassment. “Beck, trust me, she was flirting with you hardcore. All the tickling. The hugs. That piggyback ride thing. It’s obvious she wants you” she shot back.
“Uh duh! Can’t you tell when a girl likes you?”
“No girl has ever liked me!”
“How am I lying?”
“You’re forgetting about Melody.”
My jaw dropped as I pointed at them. “You all knew? All of you? How’d you know Melody liked me?” I exclaimed.
“Because she'd get pissed whenever we came around you. God. It’s like she thought we were just gonna jump on top of you and have our way with you. Which would have been hot but you’re just not our type” Jessie joked, smirking at me.
I flipped her off as she laughed. “So, all this time-” “Yes, we knew she liked you but we just thought you were being dense or you didn’t like her back. I guess, we now know that you were just dense” Hope interrupted.
I grew silent, relaxing against the hospital pillows. “She kissed me,” I replied bluntly. “Whoa! When was this?” Lee exclaimed, moving closer to the bed. Jessie smacked his arm. “Perv” she remarked, frowning at him.
“Last night before I was in my car accident. She told me she wants to start a relationship” I answered. “And what did you say back?” Mark asked, deciding to get involved in the conversation.
“I told her I’d think about it. Besides, you guys don’t like her,” I reminded them. Hope sighed. ”Amiga, it’s not that we don’t like her. It’s just, she wouldn’t be good for you” she said softly. Hope only calls me "amiga" when she's trying to calm me down.
“What makes you say that? She’s one of my best friends” I exclaimed in confusion. “Sometimes friends don’t make the best couples. Did you ever think that maybe this is as far as your relationship with her goes? I think that if you two actually were together; one of you would end up heartbroken” she concluded.
“I don’t know. I mean, that kiss…something just felt, I don’t know, different. Maybe things between us could work-” “Or maybe they could go horribly wrong. Beck, what about Natalie? It’s obvious she wants you too and don’t even lie and say that you don’t feel the same” Mark added, crossing his arms next to Hope.
“Yes, I do like Natalie. I do want Natalie…but Melody has been here all along and I never realized that. She’s given me her heart and…I don’t want to hurt her anymore” I replied, staring down at my hands in anguish.
“Beck, you’d be hurting her even more by going out with her when you still clearly have feelings for Natalie” Jessie reassured me. I glanced over at Lee but he avoided my stare.
“Even if that is true, I have to at least try. I have to give this a chance and if it doesn’t work out then, oh well. At least we’ll be able to say that we were really better as friends” I said, hoping they would understand.
“And Natalie? How is this going to make her feel?” Hope asked, begging me with her eyes not to do this.
“I don’t know. But, if things with Melody don’t work out, then I’ll know that, deep down; Natalie was truly the one for me” I replied.
No one replied until Jessie groaned, rolling her eyes. “God, this is such a TV drama right now. All we need now is the loving couple where the boyfriend cheats and the girlfriend doesn’t know” she said, laughing.
Mark and I looked at each other while Lee fidgeted in his seat. “Mark, can you go get that X-Box now?” I asked. “Yeah, I’ll be back. Hope, can you drive me home?” he asked.
“Sure thing. Bye Beck, get well soon” she called over her shoulder, walking out the door behind him. Lee got up to leave, kissed Jessie on the top of her head, before nodding at me and walking out the door.
I watched him go but soon felt Jessie shaking my leg. “Beck, whatever you’re going to do, I just want you to know that we’re all going to support you” she said, smiling.
I smiled back at her as she leaned down to embrace me in her arms. “Thanks Jessie” I replied, holding her with my good arm.
“Get well soon, okay? I want to see you back in those club meetings. If you don’t watch Lee for me, who will?” she said sarcastically. I nodded at her. “I'll see you later…and oh! Um…what are you going to do?” she asked, stopping at the door.
“I’m going to give things with Melody a chance” I replied. She frowned a bit before sighing. “Just please, don’t hurt Natalie in the process. She’s really a sweet girl” she said.
I nodded as she walked out the door. Once everyone was gone, I leaned back against my bed and sighed. “You don’t even know, Jessie. God, you don’t even know."