I never thought that this would be me, honestly I always heard this stuff happening to other people but I never thought that it would be me. Lying on my bathroom floor nursing a black eye and bloody nose coming to terms with the fact that this won’t be the last time.
Albeit this isn’t the first time but I was sure as shit that last time was it. No more I said, this is not who I am I said, I refused to be weak, scared and battered I said, but alas, here we are.
My daughter is probably sound asleep right now, dreaming about unicorns and tea parties. I smile at that, I mean what 4 year old doesn’t love tea parties and unicorns?
I’ve at least got to try and get out, tonight has been the straw that broke the camel’s back. The poor, unfortunate camel being me, Cara Sinclair. I’m not entirely sure where I went wrong in the last 4 years but by god do I wish I knew. I regret every single waking moment I brushed off my family’s suspicion of Hunter, I didn’t realise how horrible he really was.
Hunter was the ultimate package, small town country boy, was the perfect a gentleman. We met at a mutual friend’s birthday party and became inseparable up until now. His friend’s hyped him up so much like he hung the moon and the stars and I was stupid enough to fall for it, he ticked all the right boxes in the sense that he was the kind of man you’d bring home to your parents.
Well, my parents thought otherwise, they could see through his bullshit façade and never missed a moment to tell me he wasn’t ‘right’ for me. I see that now, thank you Dad.
Two years later, along came Alexandra. Made from pure love and happiness, the apple of Hunter’s eye. He was so involved throughout my entire pregnancy, always coming to scans, set up her nursery, waited on me hand and foot. I couldn’t for the life of me wonder what I did in a previous life to deserve this wonderful man. I cant help but snort at that now, wonderful man my ass.
Alexandra is the most beautiful little girl, with a heart of gold. I cant stop picturing her ending up like me if I don’t fix this now. I cannot and will not allow my baby to be in a 10 foot radius of this man or any other man who does this to a woman and thinks it’s okay.
Get up, find phone, grab Lex and get out. I repeat this to myself so many times the words are starting to jumble and not make any sense but I cant stop now. I pull myself up off the cold tiles and push through to the bedroom. This is room is my own personal hell. This is no longer a sanctuary or my safe haven, I dread ever having to come in here.
I push the thoughts to the back of mind and grab my phone from under the crumpled up covers on the floor, I text the one person I know will not ask questions, at least not right now and take me and Lex in.
Me: Hi Mum, Lex and I are heading your way. I know it’s late and I’m sorry. I’ll explain later, love you xx.
I didn’t expect Mum to reply, 11.30pm is late for her, Dad would still be up but I know what he’s like. I cant risk Lex seeing her Grandpa beat her daddy to a bloody pulp.
I can’t hear Hunter anymore so one can safely assume he’s pissed off, it’s always the same, find something to ‘fight’ about, smack me around and then piss off to god knows where. I grab some of my stuff and head to Lex’s room and grab some of her things, and gently wake her up.
“Lex, baby we’ve got to go.” I whispered, she rolled over and gave me a big toothy smile. How could I be so sad when I have this?
“Mumma where? what about daddy?” She rubbed her eyes and latched on to my neck as I pulled her out still wrapped in her blanket. What do I say? she loves Hunter so much, I would never do this to her without it being totally necessary and for her own safety.
I looked down at her and pushed an unruly piece of her dark hair behind her little ear.
“Baby, Daddy is super busy right now, but we are gonna head to Grandma and Grandpa’s for a little while okay? I bet they’re excited to see you..” I whispered, she gasped excitedly and nodded her head before laying it on my shoulder flitting her eyes closed.
I feel horrible, she has no idea what’s going on and doesn’t realise that Daddy is coming with us. Daddy is the cause of all this, I want to say but I cant say that to a 4 year old. At the end of the day she is still his daughter, that doesn’t change but him and I, well that’s a different story.
I fastened Lex in her seat and threw what little bags we had onto the front seat. I got in and started up the car, although I know Hunter isn’t here, I constantly watch the front door like he was about to come barrelling out but he never did.
I made my way out of the quiet little street and got on the highway, not many cars frequented the highway after 10 so we were pretty much alone. The warmth of the heater wrapping around me, blanketing me in a sense of safety and comfort. Weird I know but I finally feel like this is it. This is the end of the Hunter chapter of my life, now begins the chapters for Lex and I.
Who knows what these next chapters will bring...
I hope you enjoy this! I’ve had this story written out for a while and decided to muster up the courage to get it on here!
In saying that, it’s unedited and probably could do with some tweaking eventually.
Please leave a comment or like if you’re digging it! If not, that’s okay too!
There’s been a fair few chapters published already and I’d like to know if it’s worth continuing.