Chapter 28 (Suicidal)
Like expected, I was locked up for two good weeks. Back to that wholesome captive again.
Anthonio had returned during the first week of my isolation but I didn’t see him and neither did he come to see me.
“Why hasn’t Anthonio come to see me?” I’d asked Velma the first week after his return.
“The boss ordered that no should speak or come to see you. I’m only here because I have to bring you food. My time’s up now dear.” was her reply before leaving the room.
And that was how I remained locked for another week.
On Monday, of the third week, I was finally released again. The boss had forgiven me and was gone for sometime. Luckily.
What disturbed me was the fact that, during those weeks I was locked up, I thought of my family, my friends, New York, my life and Anthonio.
Yes, that was what disturbed me. I wasn’t supposed to think of Anthonio!
All of a sudden, I broke into tears, remembering my situation. I was going through hell. I sobbed and sobbed. But then, an odd idea crossed my mind. The two weeks I’d spent locked up and all by myself had given me suicidal thoughts. I swear I was beginning to hear voices in my head at times. I was already depressed, indeed. Traumatised, isolated and confused.
It was almost lunch time and I’d planned on stealing a table knife that I could cut myself with. My thoughts were disorganized and after what had happened with the boss, I just wanted to put an end to my miserable life. I preferred to die because I knew that the next time the boss would call for me, he would rape me. I couldn’t bare that.
That afternoon, I left my room for the first time in two weeks. I went downstairs and sat at the dining table.
“Hello, hun. Should I bring you some food? You haven’t eaten since morning.” Velma said, approaching me.
“Uh, yeah. Why not?”
“Donnica are you alright?” she asked, frowning as she stared at my face.
“I’m fine. Why ask?” I lied.
“Donnica you look pale and you have heavy bags, underneath your eyes.”
“It’s nothing. I didn’t sleep well.”
“Velma it’s fine!” I found myself yelling at the lady and I immediately regretted it. Velma stared at me.
“Fine. Lemme go get you some food.” she replied dryly before walking away. I knew I’d hurt or annoyed her. I shouldn’t have done that.
Some minutes later, she brought in two plates of food. One for me and she put the other on the other side of the table. Probably for Anthonio.
“Velma I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.” I told her.
“It’s fine. Now eat.” she replied firmly and left the dining room. I looked around and when the guards or no one else was watching, I took the table knife by my plate and hid it at the back of my jeans. Then I began to eat.
About a minute later, Anthonio walked in. It was the first time I was seeing him in weeks. And he looked even more handsome.
I shook my head and ignored him.
As expected, he sat down without greeting me and began to eat. I didn’t want to speak to him because he was probably gonna be able to detect the depression in me. And so I remained silent. I hurriedly finished my food and left the table.
I went to the kitchen and met Velma. I washed my plate and apologised to her once more.
“I’m sorry Velma. I dunno what came over me. Sometimes I just think of this whole situation I’m in and it hurts terribly.” I told her.
“I understand dear. But make sure you maintain your cool. It’s not easy and I know. But all will be fine if you act right. Okay?”
Lies. I preferred to kill myself.
I left the kitchen, looking behind me to make sure Velma wasn’t staring at me or suspecting me. She wasn’t, she had her eyes on the ingredients she was preparing.
As I faced my front, my heart skipped a beat when I met with Anthonio. He had his plate in his hand and stared down at me. I cleared my throat and walked past him. I felt him stare at me as I ran up the staircase.
Sobbing like never before, I walked down the dark halls of that mansion, shivering and trying to convince myself that what I was about to do was the right thing to do.
I kept walking and going up the huge staircases till I reached the last floor of that huge place. Where I’d gotten lost the first time. It was desert and dusty like people had not been up there in years. The corridor was dark and so were the old rooms up there.
I entered one of the rooms and switched on the dim lights. I’d gone up so I couldn’t be found or stopped.
Once in that room, I closed my eyes and sobbed some more before saying a short prayer.
‘I have to do this. I just have to. I’m sorry mom, I’m sorry dad.’
I was going to reach out for the knife behind me when the door to that room got open, I turned and there he was. The omnipresent psycho. Always appearing where he shouldn’t!
I stared blankly at him. He leaned on the door’s post and folder his arms.
“What are you doing up here?” he asked rather calmly.
I opened my mouth to say something but I was guiltily speechless.
“Donnica,” he called slowly, shaking his head. Anthonio walked up to me, “Turn around.”
His eyes narrowed
“I said, turn around.” he ordered a second time in a more threatening manner.
When I remained immobile, he suddenly grabbed my arm and roughly turned me around so I had my back to him. Anthonio pulled the knife out of my jeans and made me face him again.
“What’s this?!” he asked, anger in his voice.
“Don’t you know what a table knife is?” I muttered, staring at him like eyes could kill.
“Don’t try me.” he pressed my arm and I yelped, “How can you be stupid enough to think of killing yourself?”
“It surprises you? It shouldn’t. You always call me stupid and so I am. That’s why I do stupid stuff.”
“I say that to annoy you but you’ve just confirmed the worse. Move.” he ordered and pulled me out of the room.
“Let me go!” I screamed with a shaky voice, “I’m tired of all this!”
*That was a close one 🙇🙇 . Your thoughts? ❤❤❤.*