Its been four days since Logan left and I’m already so dead inside without him. I miss him so much. I miss his muscular arms around me, I miss those ocean blue eyes that would look at me ever so lovingly. I feel empty without him. The thought of him being miles away makes me down and depressed. I know I might be overreacting as he’s going to be back soon, but the past days without him was so melancholic and horrible.
We talk every day, but it isn’t enough. Nothing is enough when he’s miles away from me. His voice won’t make me complete again as his presence did. Never ever I wanted something so much except him. I’m horrified at the realization that I starting to depend on Logan for everything.
I was laying on my bed, lost in my own world of thoughts. Mainly revolving around Logan. My phone started to vibrate and a smile spread on my face as the familiar ringtone reached my ears. A different ringtone saved for a certain person. I picked the call before placing my phone to my ear.
“Finally you decided to talk after forever,” I said dramatically. I heard him chuckle and my toes curled at his husky voice. God, I missed his voice.
“Babe, we just talked yesterday,” He said and I can detect amusement in his voice, which brought a grin on my face.
“I know, but it felt like an eternity” I pouted. It’s true.
“Now tell me what my favorite girl was doing?” He asked.
“Nothing much just got back from my work”
“I guess you didn’t cause any trouble today since I didn’t get a call from William. Right babe?” He teased me and I let out a groan. I tried to escape from the campus without informing William aka my bodyguard. It was really getting on my nerves when he was following me everywhere as per his boss order. I just needed some space to think! But I didn’t make much progress in my escape plan as William saw me entering a taxi. Then he followed me in his car and stopped the taxi. Then there goes my escape plan in water. I even had to listen to Logan’s lecture for one hour. The horror!
“No, I didn’t,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“You better not if you don’t want me to double the security around you,” he said in a serious tone.
“Yes sir” I mumbled.
“Mr. Watson, everybody is waiting for your presence to start the meeting” I heard a female voice in the background. Then I heard a few shuffling.
“Yeah, I’ll be there -- baby, I gotta go. Will talk to you later. Love you” he said and hung up. I let out a defeated sigh.
“Love you too” I mumbled as the beeping voice filled my ears. My whole mood dropped instantaneously. Logan has been busy lately with his work. It’s not that I’m complaining. He’s a businessman. Powerful one to be precise. And I’m not a fool to think his job is simple. It’s true he calls me every day, but our conversation only lasts for 10 minutes max. I guess Logan is handling a big issue in California because he couldn’t solve the problem till now.
I know I shouldn’t be those girlfriends who want their boyfriend near them 24/7, but I couldn’t help it knowing the date is very close. I want him to hold me and wipe away my tears and comfort me on that day, but at the same time, I want him to solve his company problems without having me as a burden. I know he’ll leave his work instantaneously and come back to me if he catches a change in my voice. That’s why I always try to be cheerful whenever he calls.
My parents’ death anniversary is the day after tomorrow and each passing second terrifies me. I’m actually surprised I survived without them for a year. This new life and surroundings definitely took my mind away from those horrendous nightmares. But I doubt it will be the same on that day. And also Logan isn’t there with me. I’m pretty sure he might have forgotten about it due to his work pressure and I prefer it that way.
Scarlet immediately understood the reason behind my occasional mood out and is trying her best to drift my thought from it. She took me shopping, stayed with me for a night and even did weird things to bring a smile on my face. Scarlet is a really good friend by heart. But I didn’t want her to worry about me all the time.
My eyes fluttered open. I blinked my eyes repeatedly to clear blurred images of the surroundings. I groaned, stretched my left arm towards the nightstand and picked my phone which kept on vibrating. Scarlet’s name showed on the caller ID and I debated whether to pick the call or not. She’s a great friend and I know she’s trying her best to uplift me. But today I’m not ready to meet her demand. I just want to stay home, safe and protected.
I picked the call finally because knowing Scarlet, I know she won’t stop calling me.
“Hello” I replied in a dull tone.
“Be ready for class. I’m coming to pick you up in half an hour”
“Oh, no Scarlet. I’m not in the mood today. You carry on without me.” I said, rolling onto the other side of my bed.
“You must be kidding me, Karrie! I’m not leaving without you” She said as I just sighed.
“But Scarlet I-“
“No. I’m not gonna hear any excuses. Be ready and that’s final.” She said before hanging up. Ugrhh. I seriously didn’t want to go. But I didn’t want to stay on my bed full day either. I know for a fact that if I stay home any longer, then my depression would hit another level. Now since l am left with no other option, I decided to finally get my ass off my bed and get ready for some amazing lectures. *sarcasm alert *
I took a quick hot shower and hopped into slim blue jeans, boots and oversized long sleeve brown turtleneck sweater. I did my hair in an intricate side braid and put a black beanie on my head. As I was in no mood to do anything to my face, I let it free and applied strawberry lip gloss. I dialed Logan’s number in hope that I’ll get the strength to carry this day forward just by talking to him, but it went straight to voice message. I really want him with me right now, but life won’t be life if we get everything we wish. I learned that a year back when I lost everything. My thoughts were interrupted by Scarlet‘s call. I sighed before taking my bag and heading to the door.
William was waiting for me outside my apartment as usual. He’s staying in the apartment next to mine. The old lady staying in that apartment gave a room for rent and Logan took that offer. According to him, my bodyguard should be near me all the time in case of any danger. I’m not surprised though. It’s Logan we’re talking about!
“Good morning, Miss Kingston” William greeted me with his usual charming smile. I glared at him playfully.
“William, How many times I have told you to call me by my name. It’s Karolia”
“I’m sorry Miss Kingston. But I got no choice” he smiled at me apologetically. He had said to me earlier that Logan had asked him to not call me by my first name and always be professional around me if he wants this job. In William’s words, it’s his boss wish and in my words, it’s threatening. Well, I’m not surprised again.
“Fine” I rolled my eyes. “Scarlet is giving me ride today,” I said and he nodded his head. He informed me that he would head behind us in his car. I jogged downstairs to Scarlet’s car before getting into the passenger’s seat.
“Hey,” She said cheerfully before getting low as she took in my appearance.
“Oh my God, look at you, Karrie. Dark circles, bags under eyes... Are you all right? ” She inquired, looking at me sadly.
“I’ll all right. Don’t worry.” I reassured her before forcing a smile. I couldn’t sleep properly yesterday due to my horrible nightmare. I cried myself to sleep.
“You know you can talk to me anytime right?” She placed her hand on my mine and squeezed it lightly. I smiled at her and nodded my head. She didn’t say much after that thankfully and silently drove us to the University.
I’m currently sitting in my AP Calculus AB class, I tried to concentrate as the professor goes on blabbering shit that just wouldn’t get into my brain. Plus I’m just so mentally drained. I just wanted to get out of this hell hole ASAP. Soon the bell rang and I packed my things before rushing out. I can’t do this anymore. I decided to leave without informing Scarlet because if I tell her, then she would definitely question my doings and follow me. She needs to attend the classes as she had lost a lot of classes earlier and our exams are approaching.
William was sitting on a bench looking around, a few feet away from the college building. Students were giving me weird glances as William followed me to everywhere three days back. He used to wait outside my class and during lunch break, he would stand beside me. It was really awkward and even I was called to the Principal’s office. He said outsiders are not allowed in the college campus without special permission. But soon he allowed as he got a call from Logan as William informed him. That man says each and everything to Logan!
Logan is one of the management members in this college, so his words are considered. I even got into a small fight with Logan, begging him saying I don’t need a bodyguard inside the college campus. Finally, he agreed with me as he realized I was about to cry. So William waits for me outside the campus. That’s much better than getting teased.
As he heard the door being open, he snapped his head in my direction. He immediately stood up and walked towards me.
“What happened Miss Kingston? Your class got over so soon?” He asked.
“No, I skipped the class. Can you please take me to Watson Mansion” I asked him.
“Sure miss,” he said and led me to his car.
“And William, Logan doesn’t need to know I skipped the class. Okay?”
“But miss, he’ll kill me if he comes to know I didn’t inform him,” he said, looking tense.
“He won’t know unless you mention it to him,” I said and after a moment of thinking, he nodded his head. I smiled in satisfaction and looked outside. Logan will have millions of questions if he comes to know I skipped my class. Are you all right? Are you having a fever? I’ll call the doctor, etcetera, etcetera.
The only person who could help me now is Grecia. It’s been a week since I paid her a visit. She is the only elderly person in my life who treats me will all motherly love. I just wanted to see her so badly.
We soon reached the Mansion. William pressed the intercom and informed my name. We were soon given permission to enter. He drove through the circular driveway and stopped in front of the huge house. I thanked him and got out of the car. As soon as I entered into the hall, I was embraced in a bone-crushing hug by Grecia. I hugged her back and took in the warm feeling.
“It’s been so long Karolia. I missed you so much sweetie” she said before pulling back.
“I missed you too Grecia,” I said and kissed her cheek.
“Come in.” She said and I followed her. She offered me some coffee as we both settled down on the couch.
“So, how’s everything going?” She enquired while taking a sip of her coffee.
“It’s all good.” I smiled. I was contemplating whether to tell her or not about how I felt with Logan leaving. I just-
“So you missing Logan already?” She asked without hesitation. I felt surprised at how upfront she was.
“To be honest, yes. I miss him so much more than words can describe” I said, glancing at my mug.
“Oh, sweetie…” I felt Grecia take a seat beside me. She gave a warm hug while whispering some comforting words to me. We both talked for a while about some random things as Grecia was trying to divert my mind. At the start I thought I might leave early but only ended up staying all day. Finally, I helped Grecia with some delicious dinner. It was half-past eleven when I thought of leaving. But Grecia had denied to it saying that it was way too late for me to leave alone. Since I already asked William to leave early to see his family, Grecia made me to spend that night in Mansion.
So now I’m currently laying on Logan’s bed with the room dimly lit. I glanced at the clock to see it was exactly 12:00 a.m. I felt a shiver run down my spine as I slowly took in the memories of this exact day a year back. The day which had changed my life upside down. The day which put an end to all my happiness and... and.. m-my parents. I felt a tear slid down to the duvet.
I wanted to sleep, so that at least by then I wouldn’t have to remember any of those memories. I turned towards the window and glanced at the full moon shining bright like a diamond. I closed my heavy eyes and diluted my thoughts.
“Baby, Help us!”
I was standing near the cliff. The cliff where Logan had taken me once. It was a mesmerizing view when he took me. But now, nothing about it was mesmerizing. The scene in front of me was horrible. Mom and dad were holding onto a rope, their body hanging in the air. Dad was supporting mom to keep her balance and at the same time, he was balancing himself in the air. I wonder how he does that. Below them was the river. A river of blood and fire.
Mom’s eyes were desperate, waiting for my help. Begging me to help them. But I couldn’t move. My body was paralyzed. I couldn’t scream, couldn’t move my hands and legs. All I could do was blink.
“Help them Lia” this time it was a different voice. A voice which was more manly and huskier. Logan’s voice. His hands were tied behind him and he was on his knees. Blood trickled down his forehead and his eyes lacked his usual enthusiasm. I looked down and the end of the rope was under my feet, holding onto it. Dad’s grip was loosening from the rope. I have to act fast.
My eyes widened as I realized I was moving backward. Someone was pulling me from behind.
“It’s time to say goodbye to your parents,” a voice from behind me said. Olivier’s voice.
“KAROLIA” mom screamed and they fell down and down to the burning blood. I couldn’t do anything. I was helpless
“NO” I woke up screaming. My body was drenched in sweat as I was constantly shedding tears. I felt myself shivering as I visualized what I had just seen. It felt so real. And I- The door banged open to reveal a half-asleep Grecia with a worried face. She came rushing into me, examining my tensed appearance.
“What happened, dear? Why did you scream?” She asked tensed.
“T-They d-died this day last ye-ear. My pare-en...” Grecia noted that I was in no state of answering. My body was shivering completely as I whimpered in fear. She just held me tightly in place by a hug.
“Shhh... hey its okay. It’s okay. Everything is going to be all right” She asked and I managed to give her a nod. She held me in her arms the whole time while rubbing my back in a comforting manner. It took me a while to regain myself back. I was so much influenced by the dream that at one point I had let it consume me.
I took in a deep breath as I felt myself return back to normal. Grecia pulled away and took the glass of water from the nightstand. She offered it to me as I took it. I felt my dry throat being quenched with the water as I drank it.
“So you fine now sweetie?” She asked me. I indeed felt really bad for waking her up. She still looked kind of tired and wavered.
“Yeah. I’m fine.” I said while looking at my lap. “Thank you, Grecia. I’m sorry I woke you up” I said as I felt my eyes fill with tears. I am genuinely astonished by her actions. She treated me like her own child, indeed like Logan. I don’t know how I would have handled myself if it wasn’t for her presence. I felt a little nostalgic as I remembered my mother. I’m truly thankful for God had given me such an amazing and caring person like Grecia in my life.
“Oh, that ain’t needed, Sweetie. You’re also like my daughter.” She said. “I’ll be right back okay,” she said before exiting the room. I sat up straight while getting indulged in my thoughts.
After a few minutes, I felt my phone vibrate near my pillow. I took it to see it was Logan. I picked the call and held the phone to my ears.
“Lia?” His voice was tensed.
“Y-Yeah,” I said, my voice still a little hoarse from crying. My eyes filled with fresh tears at his sound. God, I miss him so much.
“Baby, I’m sorry”
“Don’t Logan. Please don’t feel sorry. It’s just a nightmare” I said.
“No. I should be there with you right now. I shouldn’t have left you alone when you needed me the most”
“I’m fine Logan”
“I’m not a good boyfriend. I forgot it’s your parents’ death anniversary when I shouldn’t haven’t. I am such a bad person. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I so badly wanted to be there for you. Trust me I did. But I-I just..aahh... I m-mean..” he started to stutter.
“Logan. You’re a perfect boyfriend every girl dreams. It is okay I understand. You don’t have to explain anything. I’m fine” I said truly.
“But Lia it’s all my fault that-“ he started again but I shushed him. Now, this is exactly why I didn’t want him to know. He would just start blaming himself for everything that had happened. I wasn’t actually planning on telling him about this anytime earlier. But guess God had different plans for me.
“Logan, Baby... it’s okay. You don’t have to worry about anything. None of this is your fault okay. Now don’t stress much.” I reassured him.
“Mom had called.” I wasn’t surprised. Grecia knows that the only person who could comfort me now is Logan.
“I know baby, I know,” I said softly.
“I just so badly wanna leave all this shit behind and fly back to you. I just can’t do this anymore. The past days without your presence was driving me to hell.” He confessed. I felt my heart lightened to hear that he felt the same way towards me.
“Logan,“ A tear slid down my cheek.
“I’m right here baby. Just hold on for few more days” I removed the phone from my ear and covered it as a sob escaped my lips. I wanted to see him right now. I need him. I just can’t take it anymore. I just wish he could be back as soon as possible. I took in a sigh before placing the phone back to my ear.
“Baby... it’s gonna be okay. I’m fine. Finish your job there and come back to me” I said as he sighed.
“I’ll be there ASAP okay.” He assured me as I hummed.
“Logan?” I called as he hummed back.
“I love you,” I said softly as he let out a chuckle.
“I love you more Princess.” He said. We talked for a little while before hanging up. Grecia walked in after some time.
“So I’m guessing you’re all right now?” She asked as I nodded.
“Do you mind if I stay with you tonight?” She asked as I chuckled.
“Not at all,” I said honestly. In fact, I wanted her to stay as I know I wouldn’t get any sleep if I was to stay alone. She sat on my bed as I rest my head on her lap. She hummed a soft song and patted my arm softly as I close my eyes. Soon after I felt myself drift into a comfortable sleep.
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