WARNING - There is a bit of self-harm in this chapter. So please read it at your own risk.
I was shocked to say a word or move an inch. I didn’t know Karrie would react like this. I should’ve seen this coming. I should’ve said no when Logan proposed his plan to scare Karolia. But I didn’t. I stayed with them, helped them, without realizing this would bring everything back to her. I turned around to look at Patrick and Logan who was as shocked just like me, trying to take in what just happened.
“I think it was a bad plan,” Patrick said, finally breaking the awkward silence.
“Yeah, it indeed was” I mumbled sadly.
“I’ll go and check on her” Logan said
“No, leave her alone. Just give her some time to calm down” I stopped him. She always preferred some alone time whenever she’s upset or sad.
“She should get an award for being the best drama queen. It wasn’t that scary, for her to behave like this. It was just a prank.” Logan frowned and Patrick agreed with him.
“She’s really sensitive. It’s our fault” I defended her. She has gone through a lot and I know it’s difficult for her to forget about her past so soon.
“Yeah, I know that. Always crying for each and everything. It’s annoying” Logan said shaking his head and I clenched my fist in anger.
“If only you know her completely, you wouldn’t say this” I snapped at him.
“What do you mean?” he asked, confused.
“Come on guys, Stop it. Think of something we can do to make her happy” Patrick interrupted impatiently and I let out a breath of relief.
“Leave her alone tonight. If she’s still angry at us tomorrow, then we will plan something” I said and they agreed. I just hope she won’t be angry at us. Knowing her, she always forgives the next day. That’s one of her best quality.
“Okay we’ll leave then,” Patrick said. We said our goodbyes to Logan and left. I really wanted to talk to Karrie, apologize to her. But I know she won’t open the door and let me talk to her. She is angry with me. I hope that she won’t do something stupid.
“Babe, are you alright?” Patrick asked once we entered his house.
“Will Karrie forgive me? What if she won’t talk to me ever?” I asked, biting my nails. She has given me a lot of chances. How much a person can keep forgiving someone? This thought was making me anxious during our ride back home.
“Karolia will forgive you. She’s a sweet girl” Patrick said and pulled me to his chest. I shifted to Patrick’s house last week as I got into a fight with the owner of the previous house. I asked him to fix a pipe which was leaking in the kitchen. But he didn’t bother to listen. So I broke the tap connection of his house and he kicked me out.
“I love you,” I said, looking at his eyes
“I love you too,” he said and connected his lips with mine.
A quiet sob escaped my lips and I slammed my mouth shut to prevent more to come out. I heard the footsteps coming closer as I held my breath.
“Lia, Can I talk to you?” Logan asked twisting the doorknob. Thank god, I locked the door. I don’t want to talk to anyone, especially him.
“L-Leave me alone, Logan,” I said to him and wiped away the tears. For a minute, there was silence before I heard his footsteps retreating back. I stood up from the bed and walked to the bathroom, slamming it shut.
Scarlet knew I wouldn’t be able to handle this. She knew everything, yet she decided to do this. I looked at the mirror, I looked pale and my eyes were puffy and brimmed with redness. My lips were trembling as tears continued to flow over my cheeks. I’m furious with myself. Why can’t I stand bravely for once and act like everything is normal and alright? Why do I have to cry for each and everything? I heard the conversation between Scarlet, Patrick, and Logan. I made a fool of myself in front of them.
I slammed my fist into the mirror several times until it shattered and fell down to the floor into tiny pieces. I hissed as blood came out from my knuckles. But I didn’t care, I need to do something to get away from the pain. Since that day, this has been my way to ease the pain from my chest. I grabbed a piece of broken glass from the floor. I brought it to my arms and began cutting. The pain I felt in my heart was huge that I didn’t feel anything as blood came out from my arms. I watched in silence as blood oozed out of the wound. Suddenly feeling exhausted after losing so much blood, I washed my hands, cleaning the blood away, but not bothering to first aid it. I stared at the mess I created and decided to clean them up tomorrow.
I then went to bed. I soon as my head came in contact with the soft pillow, I drifted into a deep sleep.
The sun peeked through the bedroom window making me turn around, so the light rays won’t fall on my eyes. I groaned loudly as the alarm in my mobile buzzed. I wriggled off my bed, walking towards the bedroom without opening my eyes. Without realizing there were pieces of glass on the floor, I took a step forward and a glass piece pierced into my foot. My eyes were wide open, all my sleep disappearing.
“OUCH” I jumped clutching my foot. It hurts so much now and I didn’t feel any pain yesterday. Weird!
I scowled as I washed my foot and took a quick shower. Once I finished changing, I picked a random cloth and limped downstairs. The smell of white sauce entered my nostrils as soon as I reached down and I quickly walked to the kitchen to see Logan chopping some vegetables. The smell is incredible.
Logan smiled at me as soon he noticed my presence. I ignored him and opened the refrigerator, grabbing a can of milk. I’m still angry at him for pulling that trick on me.
“You like pasta?” he asked, noticing the tense atmosphere.
“Yeah,” I said softly. I hissed in pain as soon as I took a step forward.
“Are you alright?” Logan asked, appearing in front of me. He looked at me in concern and I could feel butterflies in my stomach.
“Yes,” I snapped at him.
“Look, Lia, I’m sorry. I know it was wrong of me to scare you like that” he said and I looked down, unable to meet his eyes. Grecia once said Logan hates saying sorry as he thinks it makes him low, though I didn’t understand the logic in that. So hearing him saying sorry is a great achievement.
“I’m fine” I push him away and walked around him, placing the can on the counter. I heard him let out a sigh before I felt myself being turned around, his hand grasping my elbow.
“I know it’s not fine. Tell me what I should do to make it right?”
“Can I punch you?” I asked, keeping my face serious.
“What?” He blinks at me. I bit my lip to smother my laughter. He looks really cute right now.
“Will you allow me to punch you?”
“Fine, suit yourself” I shrugged my shoulder and walk around him. I took the knife from the counter and started to chop the remaining vegetables he left off. The room suddenly turned silent, only the sound of the knife hitting the board could be heard.
“Lia, what are those marks?” Logan asked suddenly. I frowned and turned around to see him looking at my arms in deep concentration. My heart started to beat rapidly as soon as I realized that I forgot to cover my scars. I was just wearing a spaghetti top.
“M-Marks! What marks?” Of all the moments to stutter, now was the time I had to do. I quickly hid my hand behind my back.
“On your hand,” he said, taking a step forward towards me.
“Nothing, it’s just nothing,” I said, my cheeks flushed. I wish I could disappear into the walls. I stepped back as he closed the distance between us. Suddenly he grabbed my hand from behind jerking me closer to him. He stared at the scars and tightened his grip around my wrist as I winced.
“Why? When did you do this? He asked as I stared at the ground in shame
“You, what Lia? When did you do this?” he snapped.
“Logan please, you’re hurting me,” I said, tears brimming behind my eyelids. The look he was giving me was murderous.
“ANSWER ME DAMN IT!” he shouted loudly making me whimper.
“Why?” he demanded.
“I don’t know alright. I was angry and depressed yesterday”
“Oh, Lia, Why are you acting like a child? If you’re angry with us, then yell at us and throw something at us. Why do you’ve to harm yourself?” he asked me.
“How did you do this? With razor?” he asked me.
“Can you stop asking me questions like a detective” I rolled my eyes, trying to lighten the atmosphere.
“How.Did.You.Do.It?” he said through gritted teeth.
“With a piece of glass. I broke the mirror in the bathroom” I said. He turned my hand and stared at the knuckles which were a purple bluish color. I grimaced.
“I’m taking you to a therapist today. You need to see a doctor” he said as I widened my eyes.
“No. I won’t come” I said firmly.
“Yes, you’ve to”
“No, you can’t force me. It’s my choice”
“If you don’t come, I’ll bring the doctor here. You’ve no choice in this” he said, using his authoritative voice.
“Please, please don’t do that. I hate seeing a doctor especially a therapist. I’m fine now.” I begged him.
“Please Logan.” I gave him my best puppy eyes. He looked away from me trying not to fall into my trap.
“Please” I’ll beg him until he changes his mind.
“Okay, but you need to promise me that you won’t harm yourself, ever,” he said as I nodded quickly.
“Sure, I promise,” I said, grinning widely.
“But I don’t trust you” There it goes again!!
“If I do it again, you take me wherever you want. Now can you please release your grip, it’s hurting.” I said. He suddenly released the grip and turned away from me and continued to stir the pan of pasta. We ate our breakfast in silence. I tried to make small conversations with him, but he was just giving me a silent treatment. I think he’s still pissed with me.
“Logan? Are you listening?” I asked him.
“Yeah,” he said, bored.
“Can you fix the mirror in my room?”
“Okay,” he said and got up to wash the dishes.
“And Lia, next time if you want to break something, go to the basement. There are many useless and breakable things. Throw that how much you want.” Heat filled my cheeks as he smirked and left the room.
Logan was waiting for me outside the university. Scarlet again skipped the class to hang out with Patrick, but she called me and apologized for yesterday’s event. At first, I ignored her, but she followed me like a guilty puppy, seeking my forgiveness. I had no choice but forgive her. Tyler didn’t come today as he had a fever. I had to call Logan to pick me up since I didn’t bring any extra money for uber and also I was not in the mood to walk 5 miles. Today was the last working day before the summer holidays, which means that I can sleep peacefully all day for three whole weeks.
“Hello,” I said and jumped into the passenger seat, excitedly and noticed Logan was talking with someone in his phone, his brows knotted together in worry. He started the engine as soon as I got comfortable in the seat and within minutes we were on the main road. I think he has the potential to be an ambulance driver as he always drives at great speed.
My head was leaning against the window, my eyes flickering back and forth as the surroundings were getting blurred past us. Logan was still talking, gripping the steering wheel tightly.
“WHAT?” Logan hauled the car into a stop. I yelped as I bounced in my seat and hit the window with a thud. I groaned, rubbing my head. Logan was breathing heavily. His eyes were raging and his knuckles were pale from grasping the wheel too hard.
“When did this happen? He had a surgery yesterday right?” he asked through his phone.
“Logan” I kept my hand on top of his clenched fist. I carefully removed his hand off the steering wheel and interlocked it with mine and squeezed it lightly. I have always seen Mommy doing this whenever daddy is upset and he instantly relaxes at her touch. I just hope it works on Logan.
“Alright,” he cut the line.
“Logan, Are you alright?”
“Charles is dead,” he said in shock.
“I’m sorry, Who?” I asked confused.
“Charles. He was our butler” he said.
“I’m sorry,” I said. He sat there for few minutes breathing heavily. After a few minutes or so, he rolled the car back into the road. With one hand Logan swerves the wheel while the other is still interlocked with mine, still calming himself.
“Logan, how come I haven’t seen him?” I asked him once I made sure he’s in the state to talk.
“He left the day before you came as he had heart surgery,” he said.
“Can you stop asking questions and be quiet for some time” he cut me off.
“I’m sorry” I lowered my eyelashes and he let out a heavy sigh.
“Look lia, for me, Charles wasn’t just a butler. He meant a lot to me. And hearing that he’s dead, it’s very hard to accept it” he said.
“Can you stop apologizing for each and everything?” he snapped.
“I’m so-“ Logan cut me off by giving me a glare. I kept my mouth shut even though I wanted to ask him a lot of questions. We reached home and as soon as I step out of the car, Logan left the place at great speed. I stared at the patches of the tires on the pavement in surprise as well as in shock. I walked to the front door and unlocked it with an extra key that Grecia gave me and entered the house. I climbed the stairs lazily. I dropped the bag on the ground and plopped down on my bed.
I wish Grecia was here right now. I miss her so much. After staring at the ceiling for some time, I drifted into deep sleep.
The sound of the doorbell woke me up. I groaned and got up. The doorbell began to ring again, making me fasten my pace to downstairs, taking 3 steps at a time. I looked at the clock and it showed 1:55 am. Who the hell is outside at this time?
“Open the door” Someone yelled, banging on the door. I hurried towards the door and peeked through the peephole to see Logan and I quickly unlocked the door.
“Hello, Good evening” he slurred, stumbling into the house with a bottle of beer. Is he drunk?
“Its 2 am now, morning,” I said
“Oh yeah? Then Good morning” He grinned like a kid.
“Logan, are you drunk?” I asked him and shutting the door.
“How much did you drink?” I asked him. He mumbled something under his breath and walked towards the kitchen. I followed behind him. He opened the refrigerator and took a bottle of beer, opening the lid so quickly and taking a sip.
“No.” I quickly snatched the bottle from him and threw it in the dustbin. Logan narrowed his eyes.
“Why did you throw it away?” he pouted.
“You had enough.”
“Okay mom” he saluted me before laughing loudly. I rolled my eyes and pulled him to the stairs. Climbing the stairs was a very difficult task. He weighs like a ton and also he was leaning on my shoulder, giving his full body weight to me. I was soaked in sweat once we reached the top of the stairs. We walked through the hallway to his room. Suddenly he stopped in his tracks making me stop as well. I looked up to see him staring at a certain room with an expression I couldn’t read.
“Take me to that room,” he said, his voice cracked a bit. I opened the door and walked inside with him and I looked around the room. It was completely empty. The bed was clean, the walls were a light blue. The room had a small window.
“This is Charles’s room,” Logan said and sat on top of the bed. I also went and sat next to him.
“You like him so much right?” I asked
“He was everything to me after mom. I loved him. I loved him more than my dad.” He said. I stared at him, not knowing what to say.
“He looked after me after my dad’s death. Mom was in depression for 5 years after dad’s death. It was Charles who brought her back into life. And now he’s dead. I can’t handle this. I can’t bear this pain” I wrap my fans around him as he began to weep. I feel my own eyes well up with tears when I hear a sob escape his lips, his face buried into the crook of my neck. I stroke his hair as his body trembles.
“I know how you feel right now, Logan. I’ve experienced the same, maybe much worse.” I said as a tear rolled down my cheeks. He pulled away from the hug and stared at me as I quickly wiped my tears.
“Can you accompany me tomorrow for Charles’ Funeral..... please?” he asked me and for a moment I was frozen in shock.
“Logan, I don’t think so that would be a good idea,” I said, hoping that he would agree with me.
“Please Lia, I need someone to hold me if I break down. I can’t handle it alone.” He said as I let out a heavy sigh.
“Okay, I’ll come,” I said and closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. When I opened my eyes, I saw Logan staring at me.
“What?” I asked
“Your eyelashes are so beautiful, your nose is perfect and your lips is –“ I kept my hand on his mouth, preventing him to say anything more.
“That’s enough. Now go to sleep. You’re tired, that’s what makes you say - eww, Logan” I quickly pulled my hand back, rubbing his saliva off from my palm.
“Did you just..... lick me?” I asked him, shocked.
“Yep” he smirked
“Because I couldn’t breathe and your hand was so soft like a candy,” he said, chuckling.
“You’re so unbelievable,” I said and got up.
“Hey, where are you going? Come sleep with me?” he said patting the side next to him.
“In your dreams,” I said and left the room, smiling.
A/N – Hey guys. I will be back with more and more cute and interesting chapters. Just wait and watch.
And also don’t forget to comment about this chapter. I’m waiting for your comments.
:) :) :) :)