Georgina was my girlfriend, we have been together for three years. You could say I have strong feelings for her even though… she can be a bitch. I thought that she would be my mate but my wolf would have reacted to her a long time ago and that never happened. Now all those feeling I had for her were gone, everything she did got on my nerves these days. The way she held on to my arm while we walked down the hall. Yesterday we were making out, I tried to get into it but if felt so wrong; I honestly felt sick to my stomach when we kissed. And if I felt like that from a kiss I knew I wouldn’t be able to have sex with her anymore; just the thought brought a nauseating shiver down my spine.
She was beautiful but she wasn’t the one I wanted; neither did my wolf. We both wanted a cute black haired boy with breath taking blue eyes. It should have felt wrong but it felt so right. I wanted him in my arms. I wanted to feel his lips on mine, not hers. I wanted HIM not HER!
I’m so messed up.
After the dinner with Jim and Darla last week, Jim took me out to his car while everyone was talking inside.
“Explain this to me” he had asked me. I shook my head not able to look him in the eye.
“I can’t” I had said.
“Liam” he warned me.
“Jim I can’t, really I don’t know how to explain.” I confessed. He looked thoughtful,
“Maybe it was a mistake.” He said. I shook my head,
“It wasn’t, I looked at him and my wolf responded. Uncle Jim my mates a male,” I whined, “How is that possible?” I asked. He ran his hands through his hair in frustration as he looked out in the street.
“I don’t know” he said with a frowned. “Who is it” he asked meeting my gaze. I shook my head again.
“I don’t know his name” I said.
He sighed, “Are you going to tell Robert and Nancy?” I winced.
“What if they won’t accept it? I mean would you accept if your son had a mate who was a guy? Even I can’t.” I was freaking out.
“Liam, they’re your parents and they know it’s not up to you who you choose for your life partner.” He assured me, “just tell them; hopefully they’ll understand.” I laughed humorlessly at him.
“Sure I’ll so do that, because my dad is going to be overjoy about giving up his position to his ‘Gay’ son,” I said sarcastically.
“Liam stop.” he demanded, “Just go tell them.”
It’s been a week and I still haven’t told them, and to top it off I haven’t broke it off with Georgina yet either. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.
I was a coward.
So when I walked into the cafe holding Georgina as we headed towards out usual table. I bumped into someone knowing from when our bodies collided and the electric current flowing through me it was ‘him’. It went all in slow motion as he hit the floor, I was about to reach out to stop him from falling but something stopped me instead. Once he hit the ground I visibly wince and my wolf whined. His hair was eschewing my eyes from seeing his face. But I could see his teeth clenched together in pain.
‘Dumb ass’ I scolded myself.
He hurt himself and I could have prevented it. I forced a scowl on my face as I watched him look up at me with those same bright blue eyes that had been haunting my dreams.
“Sorry about that” he said wiping himself off. His voice scent delicious shivers down my spine. I still hadn’t said anything to him, my left hand tightened in a fist and my other tightened in Gee’s grip. His eyes zoned in on our hands then and the look of shook and disappointment crossed his face. I was confused as to why he would look sad like that, but just looking at his forlorn face made me want to take him in my arms. ‘I need to leave.’ I brushed passed him so I could secretly feel the delicious sparks as our shoulders brushed together.
“Watch were you’re going next time.” I growled to him dragging Gee with me, I heard Georgina snicker and I had to grit my teeth from snapping at her.
I know I was being a huge dick to him but I wouldn’t let myself feel for him, I couldn’t. I was the soon to be Alpha and I don’t think the pack would feel okay with following a homosexual Alpha pair.
Sighing I sat down next to my best friend Dominic.
With a sly glanced I noticed my mate wasn’t there anymore and my wolf whimpered. He was fuming at me for hurting him and I completely understood. Someone cleared their throats, glancing up I found Doms narrowed eyes staring in my direction, then down to my hands with a frown. It was then I realized that I was still clenching my fists.
“What’s up man?” He asked as my gaze shot up to his. I shook my head,
“Nothing.” He didn’t look convinced but kept quiet non the less. Lunch was the same; everyone was talking all at once about parties, who got laid, or who got knocked up; just the regular gossip. Georgina was in an animated discussion with her friend Kelly, they were whispering together intently. I honestly couldn’t careless, all I wanted was to go home.
I couldn’t get his face out of my head, the way his blue eyes clouded with sadness. I hung my head with a sigh, disappointed with myself. I should apologize,
‘NO’ I can’t.
Soon the bell rung, opening my eyes Gee was staring at me with a weird expression.
“Are you okay babe?” She asked caressing her finger tips down my cheek. I resisted the urge to swat her hand away, so I just moved my head and stood.
“Yeah I’m fine” I said taking her hand in mine ignoring the nasty feeling. Walking her to class she stopped me at the door and wrapped her arms around my neck standing on her tip toes. Quickly I took hold of her waist and held her still.
“Gee not right now k” I said looking her in her green blue eyes wishing them to be the clear sky blue ones I dream about.
“Why baby, you love my kisses” she purred burying her hands in my hair trying to pull my head down to hers. “Come on baby” she whispered as she licked my lips. Another nauseating shiver wracked my body, she mistook it as desire so she did it again reaching up a little more and forced her lips on mine. I let my hands fall from her waist as her pressed her body against mine fully. She gripped my hair harder, usually I would have been all over that, moaning in her mouth with pleasure but I wasn’t enjoying this one little bit. I felt her tongue try and force its way into my mouth but clenched my teeth closed.
Pouting, she pulled back,
“Open up” she said against my lips and tried to kiss me again but I stopped her.
“That’s enough for now,” I whispered pulling away from her “the bell’s going to ring.” and right on cue a blaring noise came through the speakers. I gave her a soft peck
“I’ll see you after school” she pouted again before nodding and heading in her class. I sighed in relief; I’m seriously going to have to break it off with her. I couldn’t do this anymore I didn’t like feeling like this.
I ended up late for my class and Dom was giving me concerned glances throughout the whole class. It was beyond irritating. When the class finally ended I quickly walked out hoping to get to football practice first before everyone to have a little time to myself. I felt someone grab my arm,
“Liam, wait man” I turned.
“Oh hey” well there goes my plan.
“Dude what’s been bugging you today?” Dom asked me curiously.
I shook my head, “nothing man” turning my back and walking straight for the lockers.
“Don’t give me that shit! I know something serious is on your mind.” He said giving me a stern look. Dom and I have been best friends since birth and we had never lied to one another. So holding this secret from him isn’t going to last, he can always tell when I’m lying.
“Come on man”
“Fine but I’ll tell you after practice.” I said.
He accepted that and walked along side me in silence.
Coach had us running for half the practice and we ran a couple plays. Kyle was constantly trying to outdo me in everything. I wanted to punch his damn face in by the end of practice. I got pretty close to it too but Dom held me back while Seth held Kyle back, I really needed someone to take my frustrations out on. Dominic had to drag me off the field to cool down while everyone went to change.
“Damn Liam, your seriously on edge today” he said standing in front of me while I sat on one of the bleachers taking deep breaths, my wolf was trying to weasel his way out. “You gunna be ok?” He asked me frowning. I nodded rising to my feet.
“Yeah” I muttered turning towards the lockers. I need a shower.
“This is about the thing that’s bugging you isn’t it?” He asked jogging to catch up. I ignored him as I burst through the doors heading straight to my locker. Taking my gear off and stuffed it in my bag, my shirt was next as I put my school shirt on changing into my jeans. Dom was on the other side trying to strike conversation but I was only giving him one word answers.
Should I tell him?
I was freaking out, I mean he is my best friend and if I lose him because of this then I think that I would be lost. I can’t go through this alone. I grabbed my bag throwing it over my shoulder and heading around the lockers to wait for Dom. He was just grabbing his stuff when he gestured for us to leave. In my car I threw my bag in the back and started my car as Dom settled in his seat.
It was quiet for a while as I drove to Dom’s house.
“Well, are you going to tell me or what?” He asked impatiently.
“Not now, when we get to my house k” I told him. I was dreading his reaction. I heard his sigh heavily and slumped back in the seat.
“Dude this must be some serious shit because you have never acted like this.” He said I glanced at him; he was staring out of the window tapping his fingers against the door. I didn’t say anything so it was silent the rest of the way. When we arrived nobody was home which I was grateful for.
“You want a drink?’ he asked helping himself to the refrigerator as usual. I shook my head, shrugging, he went in the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water. I sat awkwardly on the counter stool as he hopped on to the other side of the counter.
“Oh my god dude you are seriously trippin’ balls” he said laughing at me. I scowled at him and punched him in the arm.
“Shut up” I growled. Chuckling he jumped down to lean over the counter to get a better look at me.
“Spill it” he said. “Is it Gee? Are you cheating on her, or is she cheating on you?” He listed off, he gasped loudly all of a sudden getting a serious face. “Is she pregnant?” He whispered this and I couldn’t help but bust out laughing.
“You are so retarded” I said between chuckles. “No, no and Hell no!” I said before my laughter died. “Aright man, I’m gunna tell you but you got to promise me that you won’t freak or if you do just promise that you’ll keep it to yourself k” he nodded slowly, I could tell he was cautious.
“Ok” I took a deep breath before meeting his gaze. “I found my mate” I said first to break the ice, I watched as his eyebrows shot up.
“No way man. Dude who is she?!” He asked his eyes wide. I bit my bottom lip,
“That’s just it… my mate not… a… girl” I muttered the last part. But I knew he heard and I saw him visibly frown.
“What are you talking about?” He asked. I huffed,
“Just what I meant” I told him staring him in the eyes giving him a flat look. His eyes widened in shook, he took a shocked step back.
“What?!” He yelled staring at me in disbelief. “That’s not possible” he said shaking his head in denial. “Is it?”
“Well it’s true and I don’t know what to do?” I confessed resting my head on my folded arms.
“Dude, but you’re like, ‘Liam Parker’! The girl magnet, you’ve had more girls then Fabio man” he said.
“I wouldn’t go that far” I said into the counter.
“No dude this can’t be right. You’re straight.”
“Yeah I thought so too” I muttered.
“You’re fucking with me, right?” He asked hopefully. I lifted my head and glared,
“Why the hell would I kid about something like this?” I growled at him. He held his hands up in surrender.
“Hey don’t bite my head off man” walking around the counter he took a seat next to me. At least he can still stand sitting with me.
“What are you going to do” he said softly giving me a look of pity. That hurt more than anything.
“I don’t know, ignore it.” I told him. He shook his head,
“No, you can’t ignore the pull, it will get worse and worse till you start to weaken and a weak wolf is a sad sight to see Liam.” he told me with a faraway look.
“How do you know” I asked him with furrowed brows.
“Well I seen my cousin go through it. He stayed here last summer, his mate rejected him and he was moping around here letting himself go, you should have seen it. He looked paler than death, his body ached all over, and his wolf even stopped interacting with him.” He confessed. “So screw it if you’re mates a guy or not you have to be with him”
I stared at him in surprise. He wanted me to mate with a male?
“I don’t know man, I just can’t do it. You of all people know my position.” I told him causing him to shake his head furiously.
“No you have to. Liam I can’t watch you as you spiral down the shitter. You better claim this guy and claim him soon. Is he a were?” He asked, I shook my head.
“Who is he?” There it was again. This was the second timed I’d been asked this excellent question. Who was my mate?