Can my life get any worse? Oh wait it can. So to add to the confusing vibes I’m getting from Liam my Uncle David and Aunt Lilly decided to pay us a visit and who did they bring along, Brent. Ah yes, my douche bag cousin. I just got home from school, Eric’s mom gave me a ride, so when I walked through the door to see them sitting with my dad on the couch you can say I was more than surprised.
“Aiden” David called waving me over. David wasn’t like my other family members from the reunion that day, he was one of my favorite Uncles. He tried to help me and his brother, my dad, out that day. It was Aunt Lilly I couldn’t stand, along with Brent of course.
“Hey Uncle David” I said walking over to him giving him a hug. I took a seat by my dad as I ignored everyone else.
“What’s going on dad?” I asked as I glanced at Lilly and Brent trying to ignore their twin expressions of disgust towards me. I held back the urge to flip them off.
“David came over to ask a favor” he said warily. I peered up at him frowning a bit.
“Oh, and what was that?” I said slowly. His lips were in a firm line as he looked at his brother then back at me.
“The thing is son, David and Lilly have to go on a business related trip together and they can’t bring Brent along.” He told me knowing I was glaring at him.
Oh hell no!
“So they asked us to take care of him for a while.” I was shaking my head slightly at him hoping he got the message. There was no Effing way Brent the gay hater was going to be living under the same roof as me!
“I know Aiden but where else is he supposed to go” he said giving me a hopeless look.
“Great grans house” I told him. He shook his head.
“They’re too old to be worrying about a teenage boy. They’ll have a heart attack the both of them” my dad said.
“Aiden I know you are still holding a grudge over Brent but I know for a fact he’s not going to mess with you.” David said before turning to Brent giving him a stern look. “Right?” Brent looked from the window over to his dad. Rolling his eyes he said,
“Yeah, whatever” he muttered turning back to the window, his arms crossed stubbornly.
“See” David said reassuringly.
It was quiet while they were all waiting for my approval in this. Looking from David to my dad’s understanding expression I finally sighed rolling my eyes.
“Fine whatever” I hope I don’t regret this.
David jumped up, “Great!” He said taking Lilly’s hand and helping her to her feet. Dad stood as well giving them good bye hugs.
“Alright bro, I’ll call and tell you if our jobs were extended this is a really important deal for the company it could take a while so here’s all Brent’s info for his schooling.” David said to my dad but I was too stunned to even show any other reaction besides shock.
Wait, he was going to my school?!
The door was close which meant I missed the rest of the conversation. There was an awkward silence as we stood around on the front door. My dad cleared his throat breaking the silence.
“Aiden, why don’t you help Brent carry in his bags and show him to the guest room.” He suggested as I gave him a ‘are you crazy’ look.
“Suuure, why not.” with my voice full of sarcasm I took one of his suit cases and carried it up the stairs, Brent behind me. Placing his stuff by the bed I turned to face him. He had a scowl on his face as he looked at me.
“So yeah this is the spare room I hope you feel at home.” I told him trying my damnedest to show some kind hospitality. Nodding I walked past him to the door when suddenly I was grabbed and pushed me up against the wall. Brent pushed his forearm against my throat making it hard to breath. I gawked up at him is surprise. His green eyes were blazing with hatred,
“I don’t want to see your face while I’m here. You disgust me so much I feel like retching from being it the same room as you. So this is how this is going to go, don’t talk to me at school or look at me. Don’t even acknowledge me at dinner. You got that fag!” He growled with an ugly scowl on his face. All I could do was look at him in fear. “Answer me” I nodded since I was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. After glaring at me a second longer he pulled back and air slammed back into my lungs. I slid down the wall holding my throat coughing for air.
“Now get out” he hissed as he glared down at me. “Oh and tell anyone about this, breathing will be the least of your worries” he warned. I slowly crawled to my feet and rushed out of the room without looking back. Running to my room I knocked Connie down in the process but I could care less right now I wanted to be in the safety of my room with the lock on the door. Slamming it shut I locked it and slumped to the floor against it. I was still coughing and panting as fear and regret coursed through my veins.
I just agree to let the one person who caused my fear of coming out, live in my house… Shit!
Dinner was quiet since Brent was here, I sat there pushing my food around on my plate keeping my eyes down, and I refused to look at him. Dad cleared his throat a couple of times throughout the whole dinner but never said a word. Mom had a permanent frown and Nash just look like he was ready to punch something. Occasionally he would look up to glare at Brent. Connie was just on her phone under the table completely oblivious to the tension in the room. Mom tried to strike up a conversation but it died just as quickly as it was started. I rose from my chair tired of it and scraped my barely touched food in the trash. I didn’t have much of an appetite after what happened earlier today.
I could feel his eyes glaring a hole into my back. I placed my plate it the sink and left the kitchen without a word. I need to get out of here. Just the thought of him and his rage filled expression brought a cold shiver down my spine. I hated him, I really did. Sitting in the middle of my bed I stared up at the ceiling. My head turned to look at my closet. Should I? I haven’t since… No I’m not going to let him get to me like this. Again.
The next morning I was scared to even come out of my room. I didn’t want to see Brent but we were going to the same school today. Dad was enrolling him in today so we had to go in the same car. I need my own car. I took a shower and got dressed before going down stairs. Connie had already went to school, mom dropped her off. I hesitantly peeked into the kitchen. Cost was clear so I walked in grabbing my captain crunch cereal and a bowl. Man I freaking love this cereal, I could live off this stuff. I thought it was kind of brightening my mood but it was soon shattered when Brent walked in. He curled his lips at me. I shrank back in my seat, my appetite long gone so I just sat there staring at my bowl of now soggy golden goodness. What a waist. The sound of the chair scrapping across the floor made me cringe. I glance under my lashes and hair at him and saw he had an apple in his hands and just stared.
“So you know what you’re going to do today right?” He asked me. I didn’t look at him but instead nodded. I stood to leave when something hard hit the back of my head. Wincing from the pain I quickly covered the spot with my hand while I turned to see the apple rolling on the floor. Shocked I glared over at Brent as he sat smug in his seat.
“Don’t get in my way” he sneered. I rushed up to my room resting my back against the door. I can’t do this!!! I was practically hyperventilating as I stood there with my eyes closed. He’s doing it again. And I know that I can’t go through this again. My eyes snapped open when I heard my dad call me. Making an implosive decision I rushed to my closet walking to the very back and grabbed something before walking back down stairs.
Once I was out of the car I dashed over to my locker; Eric was leaning against it when he saw me.
“Hey dude” he said moving so I could get my books.
“Hey” my voice sounded miserable to my own ears so when I looked towards Eric he was frowning at me.
“What’s up?” I shook my head taking out my English book. Slamming my locker shut I walked down the hall Eric trying to catch up.
“Where’s J?’ I asked him.
“Oh” I said. I guess that’s a good thing, she would be the one to pry and demand none to gently what my problem is. I should have never told my dad I was okay with Brent staying. What the hell was I thinking? I just hope that Brent doesn’t have any of my classes.
Eric didn’t try to see what was bothering me, which I was grateful for.
So here I am sitting in my anatomy class again, no Jeanine beside me, trying to take notes but I couldn’t seem to pay attention to the teacher. I just kept thinking about what Brent use to do to me. I know that I couldn’t go to reunions on my dad’s side but like I said David was my favorite Uncle and since he stuck up for us he’s the only relative that my dad talks to. We use to visit them, Brent and I never got along after the coming out thing at the reunion. I would try and be friendly but it would always end up with him calling me a fag and hitting me with something, like an apple for example.
He socked me once because he caught me looking up David Beckham on the computer. I mean damn, the man’s freaking sexy as all hell! I couldn’t help it. So when Brent came in and saw this, he socked me square in the face. I remember falling out of the chair and landed on my back, staring up at him in complete shock.
“You’re a fucking faggot” he spat in my face.
I had never done anything to him and here he was abusing me because of my sexual orientation? After that he would shove me into walls and doors even though I was minding my own business. I soon broke down one day and got involved in really bad stuff but I was only trying to find a place to fit in. He pushed me and pushed me to where I couldn’t handle the rejection and hatred, I need an escape, a place to feel accepted and I found it among other things.
But that was a while ago and I got better after having space from Brent, Nash never knew that he use to hit me and talk down to me, making me feel like shit every time I was around him. Neither did anyone else. I even went so far as to forgive him later in the years. I got better with the help of one of my dear friend who moved to Scotland right after I got better. I never did get over the fear of coming out. And here I am thinking he had changed just a little, grown up but no he was just the same and he was going to push me to spiral again. I know it because I could already feel it.
When I found Eric we walked to the cafe, I wasn’t hungry. I had lost my appitites since Brent came around. Walking through the double doors I noticed an eerie silence that met us. I soon slowed down and looked around to see every one’s eyes on me. I frowned in confusion glancing over at Eric who mimicked my same expression.
“What the hell is every one staring at?” He asked looking around. We sat at our table, the people next to us were whispering, their eyes still on us.
“What’s going on?” I asked no one in particular. My question was soon answered by someone throwing a banana at me. Flinching away from it before it hit me in the face, I saw some jock stand,
“Suck on that fag!” He yelled as everyone laughed.
That’s when my heart stopped, did he just called me a fag? Why is he calling me that? From the corner of my eye I saw a hand snatched the banana off the table and throw it back.
“Fuck you dickwad!” I heard Eric yell but I was having a panic attack.
They knew, they all knew!
My secret was out and I have no idea how. As if wishing for me to discover who spilled my secret I felt a pair of eyes on me and I looked up to find Brent’s creepy green gaze. He smugly shrugged with a smirk on his face.
And there it was, he had done it, he had pushed me over and he was only here for a day. He ruined my whole life in a matter of hours.
I rushed to my feet, running out of the cafeteria, pushing people out of my way. A tingling sensation went through my hands as I barreled past the doors. I didn’t look, I had too much going through my head; I was panicking, my heart was beating to fast; I couldn’t breathe.
I raced down the empty halls in to the bathroom. I dug in my pant pockets with shaky hands and pulled out two little white pills. They were from my secret stash in my closet. I threw them in my mouth and swallowed them without thinking. It was when I looked down at my empty hand that I realized what I did.
Oh god, I can’t believe I just did that. I looked up at myself in the mirror.
I quit, or I thought I did.
I ran my trembling hand through my hair but kept them there. I felt like yanking it out
“I’m so stupid!” I yelled to myself as I gripped my hair hard. I can’t go back to this, I ca… my thoughts trailed my muscles relaxed as a calming sensation came over me. I slid down the wall my hands falling from my hair down to the floor. A relived sigh left my lips.
I felt so… good.
I didn’t know it would hit me this fast but I didn’t care anymore, it was heaven; I love this feeling, why the hell did I ever stop. I rested my head back against the wall and closed my eyes as I enjoyed my calming high. I don’t know how long I stayed there on the floor but I felt something on my shoulder shaking me, I slowly opened my eyes to see those damn hazel eyes taunting me again.
A lazy smile graced my lips.
“Aiden, Aiden” he kept saying but he was going in and out. He had such a sexy voice. Screw it.
“Youu are t-the seexiesst man I haaave ever seeen” I slurred to him. I tried to reach out and touch him but I couldn’t move, I was too relaxed. It’s been so long since I have taken these so it hit me hard. I could see his lips moving but all I saw was the worried expression on his face. All I could do was sit there smiling.