noun - the source or origin of anything
Augustus Waters once said that Oblivion is inevitable, and he was right. One day, we will all die. Not all at the same time, not all in the same way, but we all have one thing in common. When we’re gone, we’re gone. To quote Mr. John Keating ” ... we are food for worms ... Because believe it or not, each and every one of us ..... is one day going to stop breathing, turn cold and die. ” We are nothing but souls drifting through space, having nothing to hold onto. Now, this is no Fault in Our Stars story. There isn’t true love that turns into heartbreak and death with disease in the center of it. Granted I’ve only ever seen the movie once, but I get the theme. See, it’s as simple as this. In the 7th grade, I met a boy, we became best friends. I fell in love with that boy. Neither of us has diseases, and neither of us died. Now I’m not saying that we became best friends immediately, but it didn’t take that long . Picture it. The first day of school, September 7th, 2013. I was standing at the front door of my new school with my parents by each of my sides.
"Are you sure you’re going to be okay? ” my mom said staring at me with her eyes full of concern.
Before I go any further, let me explain. It was my first day at the school and I had issues with my previous school, so my parents were a little on edge.
"I’m ok," I said, "I promise.”
I gave them a fake smile and walked through the big oak doors to my new school. I took out a map I had printed out earlier that week and tried to find the office. I got lost about 4 times, just wondering around the quiet hallways, searching for something to tell me where to go. The halls smelled of bleach and cleaner but looked filthy. I finally saw the office and was so close to it when a boy bumped into me, knocking me straight off my feet.
“Sorry, ” He said as he offered me his hand.
I grabbed it and pulled myself up.
“Thanks. ” I quickly muttered as I turned away from him, and took two steps forward. I stopped and realized I was missing my phone. I turned around and saw holding it out, probably waiting for me to realize that I had dropped it. I took it from him and said thank you. I turned around, took two deep breaths, and started walking into the office.
"Can I help you?” An over-cheery secretary says.
“Hi, I’m Madeline Parker, ” I said.
"Oh yes, I have your schedule and papers that you need to fill out, ” She said as she handed me my papers.
She motioned her hand towards a chair and I sat down. The papers covered the basics; allergies, home address, parents’ email(s), etc. When I was done, what had felt like half an hour was actually 5 minutes. I got up from my chair and started to walk back to the secretary’s desk. As I was walking, I was flipping through the paperwork to make sure I had filled everything out. I guess I didn’t notice the boy walking straight towards me. He inevitably bumped into me, and for the second time that day, I was knocked to the ground.
"We have to stop meeting like this,” he said. I looked up and saw the same guy that I bumped into in the hallway. He held out his hand, again, and I grabbed it. I pulled myself up and said thanks.
I walked back to the secretary’s desk and handed her the papers. The boy walked over to the desk and started talking to the secretary.
“Hi, I’m here to help the new student Madeline Parker,” he said.
"I’m Madeline Parker,” I said smiling, turning to look at him.
“Hi, I’m Connor Caldwell and I was told we have the same schedule, ” he said. He turned to me and whispered in my ear, ” you would think that the principal would be smart enough to realize that at the age of 12, we can take care of ourselves. ”
I smiled and the sarcastic comment and turned to the side, only to be met with his eyes. I was sort of put in a daze until I realized I was staring too long.
"Well Connor,” I said, as I shook out of my daze and backed up, just a little bit. I reached my hand out, and he grabbed onto mine and I shook his hand. All I could think in that moment was how cold his hands were, and how blue his eyes were. “Where to first?” I said. The secretary handed me some papers and Connor and I walked out the office doors.
"First we have ELA, then our cycles class,” I interrupted him because I had no clue what cycles were.
“Wait, what are cycles exactly? ” I said.
“Well, in August we all got a paper from the school. On the paper, we had choices for two of our classes. We had to pick a language, and then we picked whether we wanted to do band, choir, or cycles. I cycles you switch your cycles class every sixty days. ” He was about to say more when I stopped him.
"Why every sixty days?” I asked.
"Because there are one hundred eighty days in the school year, and I cycles you have three classes. First, we have music, then cooking, then digital literary. We don’t have the same people in our cycles either. When we switch to cooking, we will have people from our music class, but also people that have digital literacy. In music we learn piano and drums, in cooking, we obviously cook, and in digital literacy, we do things on computers and stuff like that. We also have a choice to read in digital literacy because it takes place in the library, but people mostly go online because they think books are boring. But if you ask me, I think there even more so . ” he said. I gave out a slight chuckle at the last part and simply nodded.
"What class do we have after music?” I asked.
“Math, then lunch, then science, then ELA again, then French, then PE, then social studies,” he said.
"Anything else I should know?” I asked.
“Yeah, when we switch from math to lunch, there is not a bell,” he said.
"And why is that ?” I asked, "I thought there was a bell everytime you switched?”
"Well, for most people, their math class is split into two periods. One part is the same length as every other period, and the second part is as long as our lunch... ” I quickly interrupted him by saying "What do you mean? ”
"Well lunch is only half of a period long, so we have all of our math at once, and then lunch,” he said. "I also think you should know that our PE teacher Mr. Crosbey is kind of a jerk, especially to the girls, so watch out. I also think we walked past our class,” he said stopping.
I turned around and realized that we were in the one hundred wing and that we had completely walked past the four hundred wing, where our ELA class was.
"We should probably watch next time we walked down the hallway,” I said slightly smiling, "we might be late if we get lost again.”
"Yeah, I guess,” he said, also slightly smiling.
We walked into our class, and we were greeted by a very young teacher.
“Hi, I’m Ms. Karling. You must be Miss Parker.”
“Yes. Nice to meet you Ms. Karling.” I say shaking her hand.
"Nice to meet you too. Connor, can you show Miss Parker to her seat please,” she said.
Connor nodded his head and said, "Will do Miss K.”
As we were walking to our seat, I looked around, just examining her room. She has a lot of blank wall space around a Promethean Board in the center of one of the walls, desks, bookshelves, and many reading subject signs. The signs filled a wall, and surrounded a blackboard on the opposite side were the Promethean Board hung. On the blackboard, the words ” Welcome Madeline ” were written in chalk. I smiled at the kind gesture and walked to my seat. We all had assigned seats, and oddly enough, I was right next to Connor. And that’s where our story started. We walked to class every day together and eventually, we even started hanging out after school. We shared a lot in common, and when I say a lot, I mean a lot. I was in love. Back then it was love for my best friend. Not a romantic love, but a friendship love. Yeah, I know what your thinking, ” You said you fell in love with Connor, ” and I did. It just wasn’t automatic .... for me at least. I have never and will never feel this way about anyone else. He has always been my one and only, I just hadn’t realized it. I was too young and
dumb to realize how much I really had. The only thing that we didn’t have in common was that Connor had everything. He had planned his life out at a very young age. He knew every step and every choice he was going to make, even if he didn’t know it. His parents said that they would fund anything and everything he wanted to do. He basically got whatever he wanted. For a man who had everything, he wasn’t happy. He said he was, and he acted like he was happy, but after knowing him so well, I knew he wasn’t. You would think that for a man who had everything, he’d be excited for the life ahead of him, but he wasn’t. A man like that could have had anyone in the world for a friend, but he chose me. He chose me but still wasn’t happy. I was the only one that realized it tho, so no one ever tried to help him be happy. I was the only one who ever tried, and it did not end well.