“Ouch” he cries out of pain as I put the alcohol in his bruise “Shut up, stop complaining” it’s four in the morning and I haven’t gone home yet, we are at Nick’s house tryin to fix this mess in his face, after my break down, we came to his house and all the road was silent with any of us saying anything “Take your shirt off” I demand “If you wanted me naked you could have said so” he smirks as he reaches for his belt “No!” I yell covering my eyes and I hear him break into laughs at me.
“Relax, I was just going to take off my shirt, I didn’t know you had that mind so dirty, honey” he says with a smirk and I roll my eyes “Yeah sure, like you planned it to, come on Thompson both of us know that you have dirty dreams with me” I say as he takes his shirt off and once again he has me drooling over his perfect body “You are the one who has wet dreams” he says and I reply “You are right, I pee every time I see your ugly face”.
I continue cleaning his face, now I have to clean his chest, this is going to be awkward. I pass the wet cotton over his chest and the move them “Stop” I say trying to concetrate “You sure?” he asks with a smile and I keep trying to clean but he wouldn’t stop moving his chest “Nick, can you please just let me clean?” I ask gently and the he moves it again but I put the cotton just where it hurts “Ouch” he hisses “I told you not to move” I say chuckling.
“You did it in purpose” he says eyeing me and burst out into laughter “Of course I did it in purpose” I look at him again and say “We are done” he pust his shirt back on “I am heading home right now, my father will kill me” I say and he nods and leads me out of the bathroom “Thank you for helping, honey” he says “No, thanks to you Nick for being there and not leaving me like some crazy girl who broke down in the middle of nowhere” I whisper as we go downstairs not wanting to wake up his parents.
We reach the door and we go out of his mansion and stand there in the entrance “You never told me how you knew where the place was” I say curious “You should get going by now” he says and I walk towards my car not pushing him to tell me something “Bye Nick” I say getting into my car and then I hear “Bye honey”
I turn on the radio and “Hey jude” by The Beatles is sounding, I mutter the lyrics as I drive towrds my house, when arrive, I get out of my car and open the door with my keys “Why are you so late?” my dad asks me “I was in a party, I am sorry, dad” I turn on the lights and see his red eyes “Dad, I am sorry, I just miss her” I say and a tear comes out of his left eye “Me too, butterfly. Me too” he says hugging me playing with my brunette blondish hair “I still love her” he cries “We all do, daddy” I say comforting him.
After that my dad went to his room to have some sleep and I prepare three sandwiches because I ashungry as hell, I go upstairs to my room and I get out of my clothes and get into my pyjama, plugging my phone into the charger I place myself under the sheets and say “Goodnight mommy” my eyelids start to feel heavy and I fall into deep slumber.
I wake up with pain in my head, yesterday I didn’t sleep that well, I fell asleep but each forty minutes I would wake up because pictures would flash through my mind, I would thing how her death was or how Jordan’s was but I made it, I get up of my bed and check the time, ten O’clock, another day of missing school, I go and take a shower and put black ripped jeans on with some blue shirts and a sweater. It’s tuesday and I haven’t gone to school, I just don’t want to face all that looks of pity that I am going to get just like that ones that I got last time.
I go downstairs and find the house lonely, just me, I guess my father went to work and John to school, but when I thought he went to school, I hear giggling and a key trying to fit in the keyhole, I open the door and find a drunk John with a blonde girl on his arms “You know, I thought I could have sex here” he says as he glances up and I see his pupils dilated “Oh god, you are high, aren’t you?” he nods and offers me a regretting look “No, you can’t have sex here” I say as I look at the girl beside him “Why?” she whines and looks at me with lost puppy eyes “One, ew and two because he is high, just go away” I push John inside and get the keys out of the keyhole “I want a d-” I cut her off “Enough” I say not wanting to hear anything else.
I close the door on the girl’s face not wanting to hear her sexual needs “Dad is going to kill me” he mutters “Don’t worry he almost killed me yesterday” I say grabbing his arm and slugging it over my shouolders to help him to walk “Lret’s get you sobber” we walk to the kitchen and I help him to sit him over the counter, I walk towards the drawers to take out a glass and fill it with water “Why did dad almost kill you, yesterday?” he asks me as I hand him the glass of water “I went over Marcus’ and almost do it again” I say trying to avoid his green eyes as his head snaps up “Le, you know that’s not the answer” he says while his eyes held up sadness “You know it too yet you did it” I snap regretting inmediatly.
“I am sorry, I shouldn’t have” I apologize, he takes a sip and nods “Yeah, I did it anyway” he accepts “What did stop you?” he asks and I walk to the fridge to take out two Kit Kats “Nick” he laughs and I take the chocolate out of its wrapper “Are you serious?” he suddendly stops whe he sees my expression, I take a bite of it then nod my head in response.
“Why tho?” he asks me and I shrug “He didn’t want me to become an addict even tho I was one before but he didn’t know” I say and take another bite then chewing “Didn’t?” he asks me “I told him” I tell him and he gives me a curious look “Everything?” he asks me as it was hardly to believe “God, no, I wouldn’t open up that fast” I say and he nods getting up from his seat “I better go and get some sleep” he says getting out of the kitchen.
“John!” I call him and he pops his head into the kitchen and gives me a question look “Don’t hope to have Abbie if you keep bringing fuckheads to this house” I say with a smirk as he rolls his eyes, gives me the middle finger and goes to his room as I burst out laughing and finish my Kit Kats.
I get out of the kitchen and go to my backyard, when I put the first step there, memories find a way into my mind. My mom and I playing to the party tea or my brithday parties of princesses.
A smile creep into my face as I look at the old rubber wheel hanging on the tree, I lie on the soft glowing grass and close my eyes not letting the sun in, my mom told me the day of Jordan’s death that if she some day went away I was in charge because I was a really brave woman, that I was the queen of everything, I had to take care of my brother, dad and my friends but I don’t feel capable of doinf that, because she controlled everything in such an amazing way, that even if we argued, later we would come back to be the same.
“It’s weird to see you in such a peace” a familiar voice fills my ears with a smile placed in my lips, I hear him lie next to me and sigh “I wanted to take you somewhere” he says as I feel him looking at me “Last time you said that, I ended jumping off of a cliff” I say not wanting to open my eyes “You enjoyed, didn’t you?” he asks me as I nod “Why are you so happy today?” he asks me changing the subject, I mean, it’s weird that yesterday I was breaking down on his arms and today I was smiling “The memories that this backyard brings to me are priceless, my mom and me literally lived in this backyard” I say as I open my eyes trying to ajust to the light of the bright yet cold sun.
I turn my head to him and see those blue eyes staring at me “It’s good to know you are happy, honey” he says wipping a strand of my hair away from my face and placing it behind my ear “I just wish, she would be here” I say closing my eyes the smile fadding away “She is, believe me” he tell me with a thump caressing my cheek making electricity create there.
“I was thinking of going to beach with everyone” he says standing up and offering me his hand “I think my brother’s sleeping” I say taking it and standing up “I am going to get him up” he says so confident that makes me chuckle “He is so going to kill you” I notify him, we enter to the house again by the back door and go upstairs “Don’t care” he sings as he runs upstairs and I follow his steps.
He put his finger on his lips indicating me to make silence, he opens the door of John’s bedroom as I stand there leaning against the door frame watching to what Nick is going to do, my brother’s bedroom is all blue unlike mine that is black, white and gold, he has his bed on the middle of the bedroom and his curtains are navy blue not letting the light get in, he lies there peacefully on his stomach.
I glance over at Nick and he opens the curtains in a blick of an eye “Wake up sunshine” he yells as John starts waking up, he always has been a light sleeper just like me “Go away asshole” I chuckle while crossing my arms oon my chest “Dude, wake up” Nick yells at him and starts jumping on his bed.
John put a pillow over his head and tells him to shut up groaning “Oh, I get it now, you got wasted last night just like the lady over there” he says pointing at me and I raise my arms in defence “I just drank one beer and one glass of whiskey” I say looking at Nick who has a smirk on his face “And not just wasted, but high too” I mutter to myself but John snaps his head up who seemed to heard me “Leah shut the fuck up” he tells me annoyed and stands up “Make me” I challenge him as he walks towards his wardrobe and takes out a shirt.
“Calm down my bad girl” Nick says walking to me and putting an arm around me, just like last time I snap his arm away “I am not your bad girl” I cringe “Whatever, what did you want to tell me, Nick? You had sex with my sister last night?” he asks Nick and that weirdo smirks and looks over at me, making me cringe.
“Not in houndred of years” I say and John mutters a sarcastic sure under his breath, he sits on his bed waiting for Nick to talk “We are going to the beach, everyone of our friends” Nick explains “Is Abbie going?” his face lights up and asks “Yeah, I think so, maybe you could do a move one her” Nick suggest wiggling his eyebrows “Maybe if he wouldn’t bring a whore everyday, she would give him a chance” I say then walking to my room leaving them alone to talk.
I enter my room to get everything ready, I text Sarah and Abbie over our group to ask them if they are going and they both tell me yes then everything changes.
Best ever: Wait, so he is at your house?
Me: Well yes, I don’t see a problem.
Abbie: Leah, he cares about you, is clearer than glass.
Best ever: Isn’t it with water?
Abbie: Whatever, Sarah.
Me: Well after yesterday, I think he does but we argue because the littlest thing.
Abbie: To the shit arguing, I ship you both af.
I chucke at her message and place my phone on the table next to my table while I smile like a weirdo, I grab a bag and put a towel, suncream, some sandals and my wallet, I grab my phone again and fall backaward on my bed, I look over the messages where Sarah says that sometimes she thinks Logan is sweeter and Abbie disagrees saying that Logan is man whore.
Me: Well I am not looking for any realtionship right now, anyways.
Best ever: Go and have sex with John, Abbie
Abbie: Shut up and don’t try to hide the fact that you and Jake are doing the banging.
I could picture Sarah blushing right now, I laugh so hard that I almost have tears at the corner of my eyes “If you laughed like that with me when we text each other (which only have been twice), I would text you everyday” a tall body leans into my door frame as I glance up and see Nick standing there with his muscled arms crossed over his chest “Maybe” I say teasing him and smirking at him.
I hear the doorbell and walk past Nick and go to open the door, when I do, a smiling Jake comes into my sight “Leah!” he cheers me up and hugs me “You know, when this fuckhead told me ‘Let’s go and skip’ I inmediatly agree cause I knew it was cause of my favorite friend” he explains me and closes the door beinhd him, a smile form in my lips, when I notice that everyone skipped class because of me, to come and comfort me “Who are you calling fuckhead?” Nick yells from my room “You!” we both yell back and I turn to look back at Jake and scrunch up my nose and then laugh nodding my head.
I remember that I left Nick alone in my bedroom and go upstairs as quickly as I can “I didn’t know you actually had this kind of underwear, honey” he says as he held up my black lingering with his two hands and a smirk placed on his lips “Shut up” I snap it out of his dirty hands “You know if sometime we get hot in the moment, I would like to see you with those” he says winking at me, I held one finger up “We will never get hot because one: ew” I held two fingers up “and two: here in Vancouver if you haven’t noticed is one of the coldest places in Canada” I say rolling my brown eyes.
“You are a moment killer” he says jumping into the white and black blankets “With pleasure” I wink at him “I heard the word pleasure, I am going to get in and I don’t want anyone fornicating” I hear Jake saying then coming into my bedroom with one hand over his eyes and the other one extended not to crash into something but apparently that doesn’t work since he falls. He lets a profanity out and then stands up removing the hand from his eyes.
I hear the door opening then a high pitched voice “We are here!” my best friend is here, amazing “Hey!” I yell with a smile and Jake’s face lights up as he hears her voice “My love!” he rushes out of my room and I hear a laugh from the male beside me “Let’s get going” I say tapping him on the shoulder.
“Yeah, I am glad too that you are happy again, Leah” he says with a big smile on his face again using my name, it just sends shivers down my spine when he says it, it feels weird because it tells me that he is serious but somehow I love the way it comes out of his mouth.
I smile back and tell him let me get changed since I didn’t have time to change, he smirks at me but I make him get out anyways, I get change into a black bikini and then into some shorts with the same shirt that I had earlier, I get out of my room with the bag slung over my shoulder, I go downstairs and everyone is chatting in the living room, the guys with their shorts and girls too.
We get out of the house as I agree to go with Sarah and Abbie in my car and the guys in Jake’s one since Nick came in his motorycle, we get ready and get into our cars, I let the ceiling of my car open and I put on my sunglasses “Let’s go to the beach” I say as I turn on the radio and “Billie Jeans” by Michel Jackson comes through the speakers.
The wind brushes my hair like some kind of cotton touching my skin, the sun makes me want to blink but the sunglasses protect me from the very bright sun, I see at my right the dark blue sea, the waves dance on it towards the white sand, to meet it, when I was younger I used to say that the sea and the sand were husband and wife because they were always together, weird thought, right?
I smile at the sight as Sarah and Abbie sing “Waste” by Foster The people, I turn to them with a white big smile playing on my lips, I keep following the red Maserati in front of me, I keep my hands on the wheel and I begin to see “You know it’s funny how freedom can make us feel contained, yeah when the muscles in our legs aren’t used to all the walking” we all sing along as Abbie’s blonde hair is all over her face, we laugh at her, the red car stops in front of mine, I move the car aside and then close the ceiling.
We get out of the car and see that we were in the middle of nowhere “Wait, Are we stopping here?” reading my thoughts Abbies asks “Yes, I think it’s better with no rules on a beach” Jake replies getting out of his car from the passenger seat, what leaves me on guessing that Nick was driving “Boy, isn’t that like ilegal?” Sarah makes a weird face asking after John gets out of the car “I don’t think” Nick comes out of the car handsome as ever and that’s when I realize that he looks better with Raybans.
I look over at everyone and take the time to see how my best friend and Abbie were dressed like, Sarah had a black sun dress with some sandals and her lips had a red lipstick on, while abbie has shorts like me, but hers were jean ones mine were black, with a white tank top and flannel on, with the same converse as me “Hey! We are matching” I exclaim pointing at our shoes, everyone looks ta me weirdly when they realize what we are talking about.
“Yeah!” Abbie gives me a high five while offering me a smile “You haven’t talked a lot, honey” his voice makes me snap my gaze at him, I can’t see what his eyes held because they are covered up, I am kind of curious what he has inside that head, because I am sure it’s not good, nothing good comes from him. Never.
I look at him “There is nothing to say” everyone stays quite at moment indicating that the moment is awkaward, but they got my comment wrong, I didn’t mean it in a bad way, I have nothing to say because they skipped school because of me, they are going to get in trouble for coming and making me feel better, because if that was their goal, they reached it.
The awkaward moment is broke by Jake raising his hands “Well, we should get going. Ladies and Abbie, get your things” he says and then Abbie smacks him on a side of his hea, I smile at both of them. We take out things out and begin to walk down the hot sand of the beach.
I still can’t get it, why would they do that? No one went to school, that might means that Nick had already planned coming, he should have known that I would have done anything to keep my head out of that, out of their deaths, but he didn’t want it to be in a bad way, like drugs, that makes my heart squeeze lightly, but then why did I stop from doing drugs, weeks ago I wouldn’t do it and definitly not for a guy.
Someone taps my shoulder and I look at the person behind me “You know, I have never known this side of you” Sarah says catching up to my step “I guess so” I say careless and shuger “You have always been a talkative person” she comments, we stop, I look at her and answer what she wants to hear and what I think “Maybe because I have become like that, someone who just want keep her thought to herself because when she talks, she always fuck things up” she opens her mouth to say something but nothing comes out.
“If I hadn’t told those people to wait for my answer, my mom still might be death but maybe I wouldn’t be with the pressure of closing that big deal” I say then walk away but then I feel her voice again “Leah, you are not a broken girl anymore, heck you never were. I think you are smart enough to know what to choose when the time comes” she says walking off where evrybody sits, I reach them and sit next to Nick, he lans into my ear then whispers “You okay?” I nod and tell him not to worry.
“Okay, so what are we going to do Mr, do you want to go somewhere?” I ask Nick turning to him “Well I...” he stands up then he picks up my body adn carries me in bridal style “You asshole, let go of me” I smack him on the chest and he begins to run along the beach, I laugh when he almost falls, he smiles at me, but not a normal one, one that makes your breath go away.
“Stop Nick, let go of me” I say smacking him again, he says okay then lets go of me making me fall in my butt, I give him one of death glares as he laughs his ass off, everyone joining him and I stick ou my tongue and the middle finger to all of them. He tries to get his breath back as I sit there on the sand with a blank expression “Okay now let’s go to swim” he touches the hem of his T- shirt “Woah, what do you think you are doing?” I ask him rethorically, he gives me a weird look.
“I mean not everyone wants to burn their eyes” he lets out a sacastic laugh and takes off his shirt, anyways. I internally gasp at the sight, I have seen him three times shirtless but it’s like he always surprises me “Doesn’t seem like you are bothered at all” he says with a smirk as everyone starts getting out of their clothes “Shut up” I say and I would be a normal girl I would’ve blushed but I have this weird thing, I don’t blush, I have never blushed in my life, my blood and hormones somehow doesn’t work on my face.
I get a towel out of my bag and sit there with my book, today I’m wearing lenses (luckily) so it didn’t bother me at all having sunglasses, I begin to read the pages in front of me. Someone taps my shoulder and I see Abbie standing there all her body wet from the salty water “Why don’t you come?” She asks me with a smile on her lips “I don’t know” I say not sure about going, then pictures make way into my mind.
“Leah-” I cut her off saying “I will go in a minute” she smiles wider and goes back where all of them were playing, I take off my shirt and my glasses, I go with my shorts, I don’t like to get into the water without shorts, it’s a weird thing that I have but I just feel uncomfortable. I walk to them as I smile seeing how my friends are happy, swimming, laughing, without school, without worries.
“Hey! Can you at least save one for me?!” I yell at Sarah as soon as I see her in Jake’s arms, they pull away because of my comment with her face turning into a light shade of red “Come one, baby, she didn’t mean it!” Jake protest at her then following her, she tells him that she is not his nothing, to leave her alone.
I walk into the warm water as my toes touch the white sand, I walk slowly as I look over to find Nick but when I do that a force makes me go down, I open my eyes and see very familiar blue eyes, I get out trying to get my breath back, he gets out too laughing at my face “You are an asshole” I smack the side of his head, laughs even more “Take it easy” he says trying to clam down.
“You know, it’s weird how something can change in a minute” I comment and wipe the wet hair out of my face “I know” he replies back “Because then that action might change everything, your humor, your attitude, heck even your fucking life” he nods “Like chocolate” I nod then chuckle at his sudden comment “I thought you preferred strawberry over chocolate” I say looking at him the starting to walk out with him “That doesn’t mean I don’t like its taste” he defends raising up his arms.
I laugh so hard not because I found it funny but because I got that feel that makes you want to laugh at everything, you know? I just needed to let it out and it feels right, it feels right when you get that feeling, he looks at me and laughs even harder, we stand there in the sand laughing like weirdos.