“So you literally think that strawberry is better than the chocolate?” I ask him calmly “Well, yes, I mean they’re healthier, you eat a bar of chocolate and it has thousand of calorities-” he explains and I cut him off “The strawberries have them too” I argue “Nope, not always besides it’s more delicious” he says in a calm voice turning to face me, making me look into those baby blue eyes.
If you are confused, let me explain. Long short story, after we jumped we climbed into rock that is large and big, we have been talking by hours now. it’s 4 O’clock and we are waiting for the sunset “Oh look I think it’s starting” I say breaking the silent between us andpulling away from his eyes “You know the sunsent, it’s the most beautiful thing in the world of the art, those colors mixing and creating new shades of every color there” he says admiring the sunset “So now you are an artist? Interesting” I say and he chuckles shaking his head.
After the sun fell into its place so did we with our silence, we changed back into our clothes and went back to the motorcycle, he leaving me at school for going to my car, we said our goodbyes and no words were exchanged after that and now I am eating pizza and sitting on the sofa with my brother playing video games “So... What did you do today after school?” he asks me “I am gonna kick your ass and None of your business” I say “Oh what a mean girl and in your dreams” he says “Still I am kicking your ass on the game” my dad passes through us and chuckles “God my kids are not normal” he mutters to ‘himself’ “Luckily Daddy” I yell as he enters the kitchen and we chuckle.
“How are you with Abbie?” I ask him wanting to know what he has been to win her “Nothing, the girl hates my nuts, how can I do something?” He says and I shake my head “Ha I won!” I yell standing up and doing my dance of victory “Who lost? Your little ass” I say in his face as he looks at me with a blank expression “I love you too bro” I say grabbing my glass and entering the kitchen for more water but I decide to grab a beer finally that Sarah is not here.
I open the fridge and put out the cold can in my hand “That’s bad for your health, you know?” Dad says behind me “I know but one won’t kill me, will it?” I say sarcastically “Leah..” he says in a warning tone “Sorry, dad,” I say grabbing the cold liquid towards my lips and tasting it, damn it’s been years since I don’t taste one.
“Leah, have you-” I should have seen it coming “No dad, not yet” I say as he nods “What’s wrong?” He asks me with concern in his tone “it’s just that I don’t know the intentions of the damn company” I say waiting for his reaction “Look Le, it all depends on you and what you have to think it’s not about its intention , it’s about how they will use it, I mean, you can’t give them free money, because they will grab a lot of money that maybe will let the company on bankruptcy, so you have to put a limit and if they are giving you money back they will be losing money too, technically-” I cut him off “Giving me back mine” I finish his sentence and he nods “Exactly, that’s what I mean” he says getting up as I take a sip from my beer “I am going to sleep, don’t stay too late up and tell John to go to sleep ” I nod and he kisses my forehead “Night Dad” I say as he goes out of the kitchen.
I stand up as I leave the can on the counter and get out to see that John’s already sleeping on the couch, I put a blanket over his sleeping figure and turn off the television when I am done, I lean and give him a kiss on his forehead. Damn, I love him. But I wouldn’t tell him because he will use it against me. Ass.
I roll my eyes and go upstairs to find a message from Logan.
Logan: Night Beautiful :)
A smile plays on my lips as I read the message and the weird feeling on my stomach don’t stop.
I chuckle and shake my head and answer him with a ‘Goodnight’ too, I don’t want him to think that I have a crush on him, he wouldn’t look at me the same way, my phone buzzes on my hand, thinking that it was Logan, I look at my phone, regretting immediately.
Darling ass: Goodnight hon ;)
Me: *frowns* What do you want?
Darling ass: Just wanted to say Good night, anything wrong about it?
Me: You know what’s wrong?
Darling ass: What?
Me: Your face
Darling ass: Ha-Ha so funny, look honey, I love talking to you but someone is wanting me so goodnight ;)
And when I thought that he was going to correct the word wanting, it hits me. He is with a girl. Player. I roll my eyes and change into comfortable pajamas and go to bed sleeping like baby all night.
“So how was Calculus?” Abbie asks me while checking her phone “Eh good, I guess, is just that Nick annoyed the fuck out of me” I say while remember that hot face bothering me.
“Hey honey, Do you have a pencil?” I ignore his question “Honey” he taps my shoulder and I keep ignoring him “Honey, you look hot today” he says “You say that to everyone with a pussy” I say and he chuckles “You know who has a-” I put a hand in front of his face “Please don’t” I say not wanting to hear the next part and he smirks down at my hand and licks it.
“Fuck, Nick” I yell at him as I clean my hand and the teacher turns around to watch me “Ms. Anderson language” he yells and I smirk “Why Mr Davidson? You don’t curse at home?” I ask him “Just work on your assignment” he says waving off the topic, pleased I come back to my work.
“Well it doesn’t surprise me” she says “Who are you texting?” I lean over her shoulder to see “John” she says “John? As John Anderson my brother?” I ask her she nods putting her phone in her pocket “Yes, he got my number and I asked him who gave it to him, I suppose he looked for it on your phone, it’s just that he is so fucking annoying” she explains and I nod “You know who is annoying? He is pooping annoying” Sarah appears at the other side of Abbie “Jake? He is freaking hot” Abbie says “True, I mean he may be annoying but he is really hot” I say agreeing with Abbie “Well I am not saying that but he just bothers me all the freaking time” Sarah says.
“I comprehend your pain,” I say as I enter my class with Sarah, Chemistry “Oh bye guys” Abbie waves at us and walk away “Do you want to change partners?” I ask with a smirk on my face “No, No and No without thinking it” she says and I chuckle walking towards Jake “Hi sweetheart” he says with a grin on his lips “Hello Jake” I take my sit next to him and send him a quick smile, just when I do that the bell rings and the teacher walks in.
“Morning class,” Ms. Jacobs says with a boring tone “What crawled up your ass and died?” Jake asks him from our seats “Nothing crawled up my ass and dies Mr. Adams” he says and starts explaining the new topic.
“Any advice about your bestie?” he asks “Shut up I am paying attention,” I say smacking the side of his head and after that, the class was in silence.
After chemistry, I prepare to go to lunch when I feel someone taping my shoulder“You are a sneaky bitch” Zoe appears out of nowhere “What do you mean?” I say letting out a laugh and she narrows her eyes at me “You took the two hottest guys away from me, don’t you think it’s enough?” she asks in a loud voice.
“Honestly, I think you should go and tell that to your so called best friend. I am not a toy, not yours and definitely not theirs so stop talking bullshit about me” after those words leave my lips, she walks away with her hips moving side to side trying to look ‘Hot’ while her heels sound in the hallway, I turn around and walk towards the cafeteria with my Jean Jacket around me.
When I open the doors everyone looks at me with their mouth hang open and a smirk take a place on my lips as I walk down the cafeteria towards my table, when I turn my head I meet Nick’s bright eyes and suddenly all the confidence goes up more than it was and he looks away after checking me out “Well... where did you get all this confidence?” My best friend asks me as I sit down “I don’t know” I say taking a bite of my sandwich with a smirk on my face.“Hey beautiful and hey my amigos” Jake sits next to Sarah and Sarah rolls her eyes “You are annoying,” she says and my brother sits next to me “Hey sis,at” he says with a grin because he knows that Abbie will be annoyed when she sees him “You are?” He asks nodding towards Jake “I am Sarah’s boyfriend and Leah’s bestie” he says smiling and placing an arm around Sarah’s shoulder “Sarah who thought you were this low” John says and she rolls her eyes “I am not dating this jerk” she says removing his arm from her shoulder.
Suddenly I feel someone tapping my shoulder and I turn around with a smile plastered on my face “Hey” Logan says “Hi” I say letting out a breath “Can we talk?” he asks me and I nod standing up and going with him not before I catch Nick’s eyes on me.
As soon as we are out of the cafeteria “So what did you want to talk about?” I ask him soon Logan presses me against the lockers “Such a cliché scene, huh?” I say smirking as he puts an aronone side of my head “Well, what can I say?” he says giving me one of his sweet smiles “You Leah make me do stupid things like this” he leans closer and that’s when it hits me like truck.
I freeze in my place and my lips press together like some kind of stick with paper. He keeps leaning when the doors of the cafeteria open revealing Nick’s face
“What the fuck was that?” he asks me with confusion write all over his eyes “I thought you didn’t have anything with lover boy” he says “Well, guess what fucking airhead?! I don’t” I snap at him and he opens his mouth and closes it like he wanted to say something “It’s just.. what did you want to tell me?” I say letting out a long breath that I was holding “You know what? Forget it, I am not going to tell something to a careless bitch” he says turning on his heel and I wasn’t going to stop him, I won’t beg him for nothing.
The rest of the day went boring, Nick didn’t talk to me, neither did Logan, it’s really weird that Nick is not talking to me, I mean the guy is an ass but I somehow enjoy spending with him, before the Logan’s little accident, he came to me with worried look on his face, like he really wanted to say something but as always that fucking ass left.
I get up of my desk and close my books when suddenly there is a knock on the door “Come in” I call and the door open with a smiling Sarah and Abbie “Hey” she turns and when she looks at me, her expression drops as she sees me face “Oh dear, What’s wrong?” Abbie asks walking towards me “Nothing” I say pulling me out my running clothes “Le, I don’t buy that” Sarah says with concer written all over her face, I lean and grab my clothes going towards the bathroom, closing the door after me.
“Are you going out for a run?” she yells from the room “Yeah” I yell back and change into my running clothes then coming out of the Bathroom “Didn’t you go this morning?” Abbie asks me as I place my clothes back to the wardrobe.
“Bye” I wave at them plugging my earphones on my iPhone, walking out of room, going downstairs and walking out of my house.
As I begin to jog, the song ‘Sweet child O’mine’ starts playing and I reach over the park where there’s kids playing with the sand, heck , they are even eating it.
I chuckle as I remember the old days with my best friend and the park.
*Thirteen years ago*
“Sarah come here, you have to see this, is incredible!!” I call over my best friend that is on the swings, she gets off and comes over me. She’ll be amazed about this “What Le?” her pitchy voice comes through my ears and a smile spread across her face “Look! It’s their house” I point at the the little ants dancing all over the bunch of sand and the pieces of leaves on their backs.
I reach over to grab one of them when Sarah puts her hand around my little wrist stopping me from doing it “Le don’t! you’ll ruin their home” she says in a ‘duh’ tone “But I want one” I whine “What would you do if someone came home and leave with your mom?” she says with a sad tone sitting beside me “You will cry, right?” she asks gently then a little tear slipping down my soft cheek.
I run where mommy is talking Sarah’s mom “Mommy” I run into her arms as tears fall over my cheeks and she lifts me up “Sweetie, what happened?” mom asks me whipping my tears away with her thumb “Mom, y-you will never l-leave dad and I, r-right?” I ask her sobbing.
“Sweetie, I will leave one day but not now, I won’t go till I see my grandchildren-” I giggle as she says that and she smiles and go on “But as long as I live I won’t leave your side” she finishes giving me one of her brightest smiles “I love you mommy” I say with my head on the crook of her neck “I love you too, sweetie”
The heat of my body begins to crawl up my skin making my sweat come out, jogging faster, I don’t even know where I am leading to, I don’t know where my life is leading to, then it happens all too fast, the song playing on my earphones, the deal, the senior year, Nick, Logan and me lost into the forest. I am lost.
I sit on the grass with my back against a tree, my heart beating up fast as my chest ove rapidly along with my heart. I try to calm down, the song ‘Are you what you want to be’ by Foster the people stops playing as my phone starts ringing, without looking at the ID I answer.
“Hello?” I speak waiting for the other line to answer back, I look at the ID ‘Darling ass’ it says “Great” I mutter “Honey” Nick breathes as I stop and sit by a tree”What happened? Why are you even calling me?” I ask annoyed, this guy is driving me insane.
“I just wanted to- huh... say that I didn’t mean what I said before”, he says awkwardly “You mean sorry?” I ask confused by the thing he just said “No- I- I don’t mean to say sorry” he says “Then why are you calling?” there is a moment of a silence in the other line and I hear Nick sigh.
“Bye Nick” I hung up and place my phone next to me leaning my head against the tree.
One day this boy is going to drive me nuts.
I don’t know how I make my way back to the house, to be honest.
I’m standing on my porch right now, my friends waiting for me inside. I reach over the door frame where the spare key is placed, I open the door slowly “I am home” I yell when I hear “Stiles don’t!” they are watching Teen wolf, Typical.
My brother comes out of the kitchen with beer on his right hand “No one cares” he sings “An no one wants to see your face, lil bro” I say giving him the middle finger and his eyes widen as I give him a curious look “Are you on your red moment?” he asks me with an awkward tone and I give him a ‘What are you talking about?’ look “Period,” he says looking to the floor “No, What the heck John?” I roll my eyes and go upstairs where my friends wait for me.
“Hey” I greet them opening my bedroom’s door “Yeah, yeah, Whatever” Sarah waves at me not caring and all her attention on the screen, I take my hoodie, tennis and socks off and put them in the basket.
I go straight to shower where the cold water falls over my body making it relax and making all the stress going away, because that what showers do, they make you turn into a careless yet extroverted, they make your inner singer come out but somehow they make you feel like a kid, why? You may be asking, because the sress it’s just some trash on your shoulders, sadly my extroverted and naked moment ends.
I wrap a towel around me as I get out of the shower then putting my sweatpants on with some shirt.
I get out of the bathroom to see that my two friends have paused the show and turn back their attention to me “What happened?” they ask me in unison “Huh, nothing?” I say furrowing my eyebrows “Bullshit, something has you stressed and it’s written all over your face” Sarah nods in agreement to Abbie’s statement.
“Okay yeah maybe something happened,” I say not making any eye contact with them “Is it Nick?” I shake my head and say “No, I have more important things than that asshole” Sarah frowns “His best friend makes me sick” she says “But he is cute” Abbie responds and we all nod in agreement.
“Today Logan tried to kiss me” I say quickly because I don’t want them to catch it but Sarah does and her jaw drops to the floor “He what?!” she exclaims “He tried to kiss me” I say taking a deep breath and letting out a long sigh “So he does want something” Abbie says but she can’t be right.
They can’t be right about Logan being serious because he never is, not with any girl and I think I am not the exception to this case. He would see me as any whore and I am not going to let him to do that, ’cause I am better than that, better than a girl who wants her happily ever after.
“No, he can’t” we agreed on something, he said he wouldn’t do any move on me, he wouldn’t try anything but friendship and he is not doing that.
“Why?” Sarah asks me “Because I think it’s kinda stupid, I am not looking forward anything serious right now” he is being just stupid nothing more, nothing less. Just stupid.
“Maybe you aren’t but he clearly is interested in you” Abbie asks passing a hand through her blonde hair “He isn’t interested, it’s bullshit” I say sitting on the chair on my desk and crossing my arms over my chest “That’s bullshit, everyone knows he sooner or later would do a move on you” I am not that blind, am I? I mean, deeper inside me I knew but I don’t want anything to happen, it would leave me like another whore in his life.
“I didn’t think about that” I really didn’t because right now I feel so dumb.
I don’t see him more than a friend, he does.
He’s just a stupid teenage crush to me, he looks further than that.
Monday mornings, I hate Monday mornings. Don’t get me wrong, I am a morning person but I can’t say that about Mondays.
Having AP Calculus the first period it’s completely awful, I do have good grades but at the first period I always want to sleep and I have got detentions a thousand times because of that.
Monday is where your week is going to be defined, you can tell if your week is gonna be shit or if it’s going to be half shit, half good.
So that’s it, I get up of my bed mumbling about how I hate Mondays and that feeling on my stomach doesn’t help.
I brush my teeth and go straight to the shower as I get out I brush my hair and get change into a red hoodie, a black jacket and some ripped jeans with boots.
I go downstairs and kiss my dad cheek as I enter the kitchen “Morning, kiddo” I answer him with a smile “John, breakfast is ready!!!” I yell as my dad gives me my eggs and black coffee, he thanks me and sit to read the newspaper.
“You don’t have to yell, you know?” John says scratching his head “Oh, believe me, I know, I just wanted to do that ’cause I wasn’t the one drinking my ass off last night- Oh, wait, you don’t have any” I lean to look at his butt and give him a smile that says ‘I said that and you can’t do anything about it’ and then go back to Instagram.
“What have I done bad, god?” my father says “Nothing, you just did a beauty,” I say flipping my hait to a side the grabbing my bag and pulling my hair into a messy bun “Bye dad, I love you,” I say kissing his cheek.
There is nothing worse than English with Mrs Bummer on the fifth period when you are starving so bad that you want her to shut the fuck up about Shakespeare. That man makes me want to puke.
“Is there something you want to share with the class, Ms Anderson?” her thick bristish accent fill up my ears making me shiver “No, why?” I ask raising a brow “You were doing faces at your teacher” Teacher. I hate when that word comes out of her mouth “Well... I might had or not” I shrugged “I do not accept that behavior” like I care “What did you just say?” Whoops “De-” My phone rings “Wait” I cut her off pointin at her with my finger and then glancing at my phone. Dad? Why would he be calling? “Ms-” I get up from me seat “You get out and-” and with that I close the door behind me.
My dad never calls. Not if it’s an emergency.
What if something happened to him? Or John?
Shit, just answer the damn phone.
“Dad?” I ask him as I hear sobbing “Honey..” he is... crying “Daddy, What’s wrong?” god, this breaks my heart, he rarely cries, like never “My love..” he says still crying “Dad?“.
Please don’y say it.
Maybe he’s wrong, maybe this is a sick joke “She died” he says as tears begin to prick the corner of my eyes.
“Mommy...” my voice comes out as a whisper.
Memories. What is a memory? Easy, a fragment of your life that once happened and stays in your mind because somehow it was or it is important, maybe it was bad or maybe it was good but you never will forget it because how I said before it left a mark in your mind, but what matters the most. The person who you did the memory with.
Now we would have memories on social media or an album of photos that it’s even called ‘Memories’ but the thing is that I didn’t have the time to an album of photos with my mom.
Because you had too much fun that you didn’t have the time to take pictures, that’s true. Think about your dog, you have your first dog and all you want to do is play with it, dress him, have him by your side all the time, but when you get used to it, the playing stops, and the hangs out stop.
That is why you get used to having it by your side that you don’t care anymore, in the way that you are so sure that it will be by your side that you don’t say anything else. But that didn’t happen with my mom. She left without any warning, all because of a drunken boy and a car crash. Typical.
They have become so usual that it doesn’t surprise me anymore, every day you would hear about a car crash because the people who drink their asses off wouldn’t have the guts to call someone to pick them up.
The fact of no taking any responsibility of your actions bothers me, because my mom left me all her responsibilities to me, but I wonder what would have happened if that night she wouldn’t have called me to go to the Italian restaurant.
Because things like the company it’s what I am worried about, what if I become a kind of workaholic like she did? What if my entire life is ruined just by my mom’s death? But what matters to me the most, the promise the fact that she broke lots of promises we had, because you can’t find a promise at the corner of the street. Promises are such an important thing to me, because they make you loyal to words.
The problem is, that my mom broke that promise.