Stop Wishing

By winterbrings All Rights Reserved ©

Romance / Drama

Chapter 13

“Two weeks?” his eyebrows shoot up as I chew and nod “I mean I knew you did something wrong but not like that, Leah” I groan as I hear those words coming out from my brother’s mouth “I know and it’s tiring waking up every day and live with that” I bury my fork onto the Chinese food.

My brother is sitting across me on his bed sitting as I have my legs crossed too but with a sheet covering them with a box of Chinese food over them. He had just arrived from school and these days I have been living in his bedroom not wanting to face my dad, my brother being kind hearted and a really good has been bringing me food. Someday I would have Indian, others pizza or Chinese.

“I know but you still have to do some things to fix this shit, Leah. Dad is mad” John says grabbing my food and taking it away from me, I whine as a response “I know and give me my food back” I pound and he lets out a small laugh shaking his head “You look like a five-year-old girl” I take the sheet away from my lap letting all the cold hit my tanned legs.

I shiver and ee as John throws everything in the trash can then he stops as something catches his attention and I freeze knowing what it is. Bending he gets a hand into the trash and takes out the white stick with poisonous substance in there “How bad is it that you are getting into this shit again?” his voice becomes cold sending a shiver down my spine, I open my mouth to talk but the words stuck up in my throat also blocking the air to come out.

“I- I just-” he holds up a hand and laughs “It’s so funny how we really thought you got over it. I thought I was helping you” he tells me pointing at me and I shake my head “John. Don’t be over dramatic I just did it twice and you really helped. I felt like I needed it” I say but he refuses to listen “Leah, you can’t keep with this you are turning eighteen into two weeks” he tells me.

“John I can’t argue with you right now. Everything is going bad I don’t wanna lose my brother” I tell him stepping closer to him “Le, I just don’t wanna see you like that, you were an addict I can’t lose you again” I nod and hug him, I pull away from his embrace “You can’t tell that to my dad” I say and he nods walking away from me, he steps towards where it’s placed, grabbing it he destroys it with his foot leaving the colitas all over the wooden floor.

“I have to go and take a shower,” I tell him, giving one last look I get out of his bedroom and move towards mine to take a warm shower. Taking off my clothes and being in all my naked glory. I enter the shower and turn on the warm water making my feet welcome it.

I fix my bun from earlier with my hair tie and let the water fall off my breasts making me feel more relaxed as I rub the soap all over my body and mumble the melody of a lyrics I have stuck in my head, opening the faucet to let the water run again washing the soap away.

I step out of the shower and wrap a white towel around my body and get out of the bathroom, finding my brother sitting at my desk chair “I got to get going, my dad called and told me he was coming kind of late because something showed up at work” I nod at him, he stands up from my bed, waves and gets out from my bedroom without another word giving me the freedom to dress up.

When I am done, I grab my phone and go down to the kitchen to grab some snacks for my hungry belly then my phone rings “Are you free today?” Logan’s voice is heard through the speaker, I think for a moment then something clicks on my head “No” I decline his offer, I mean I didn’t want to be rude with him after what he did but I just have some stuff to do.

“I mean, I know I am grounded but I just want a day for myself taking advantage no one is at my house” I tell him placing my phone between my shoulder and ear, opening up the ships that I have on my hands “Don’t worry, I understand” he says but how I heard his voice he sounds kind of disappointed “I will make it up to you” I tell him with an okay and exchanging goodbye we both hang up after that awkward conversation we just had.

I walk towards the couch, taking a seat I turn on the tv but then I turn my head to see my dad’s office a little bit open. The temptation reaches me and suddenly I am on my feet again and walking towards the brown old office.

My dad has had this office since I have memories, he and my mother would spend hours there. I shiver at the thought of it, I enter the office and look at the old pictures of us, some of them are of my mother and him smiling while they were in college or during my mom’s time of pregnancy on other pictures there are lots of me with him and John.

I walk up to his desk and place my butt on the comfortable chair and place my palm on the mouse to turn on the screen of the desk computer. When I was little my dad used to explain to me how every file worked on his computer and how some of them complimented the others by having extra data or linking between them.

I get into the program of his work, the guilt washing over me instantly. The guilt is something that to my opinion is extra, you should do the things without thinking it twice the guilt it’s just an obstacle to reach your goal. I click on the pale yellow file and look for a certain name, I put a chip into my mouth as I type ‘Dave Stackman’ on the computer then it pops up his case.

Opening the file, I look at the register and everything coincided with the story he told me to, catching buying illegal alcohol, but there were pictures attached to the file. I click on them and zoom in to see a familiar blonde hair “You gotta be kidding” I mutter under my breath as I put my right leg under the left one.

“The man has been caught buying illegal alcohol but the police can’t identify the young man who is selling it, being useless as a defense to the client” I read out loud and begin to click to see how much everything has been taken away. The amount of liters make my eyes come out not allowing me to blink and the nervousness eating me alive crawling from my stomach making its way out.

I see the expensive brand of vodka that it’s given to Dave and the boxes of it but then I see the video of his declaration, pressing play the first image that appears is of Dave sitting at a table with his hands cuffed and his head down when someone enters the room “My name is Detective Carson, today I will do a few questions about your case” Dave nods as Carson takes a seat in front of him but that’s when Dave raises his head giving me a clear vision of the bags under his eyes.

“Where were you when everything happened?” the question comes softly at Dave quite unhearable “I was at the bar I own when this guy approached me to tell me that he had this offer of alcohol, I told him I didn’t deal with kiddos but he said that it was hundred percent legal, I laughed in his face and shrug him off but apparently he couldn’t take a no for an answer” he pauses to take a deep breath and I watch his hands shake with fear.

“So he told me that if I didn’t accept the offer, he would kill my baby girl so I just couldn’t say no. She’s my whole life” the tears start to prick his eyes and I pause the video not wanting to see anymore. I pass my hands through my face slowly making their way towards my blond and messy hair.

A knot of mixed feeling begins to built up into my stomach making me delete everything that I’ve seen, standing up I walk out of my dad’s office and make my way upstairs, entering my white and pale bedroom, I open my laptop to hack into his system by logging in with the password I saw not a long time ago thanks to Jordan.

I wait for it to download the whole program but it denies my login immediately, cursing under my breath I put my hands in fists with the powerful anxious growing inside me. I stand up from my desk and go towards my wardrobe to change into dark jeans and a big black coat, when I am done I hear the sound of the front door opening with the key making its own magic.

I put my black boots on and my beanie “I am so sorry, dad but I have to do this” I say in a low voice as I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath, I open the window harshly and make my way out through it with the guilt and anxiousness making its way through my spine.

I begin to make my way down the house hearing as my dad calls my name, at the sound of that my foot slips almost making me fall. When I finally reach the floor I land flatly on my feet not having any harm on my body.

Then I begin to run without stopping making my way to where I knew I would find him.


Have you ever felt so relieved that you forgot something? The feeling of relief it’s the best one, it places itself in your torso making the tension of your shoulders go off and making you feel ten times younger.

But then it comes intertwining hands sweetly with the guilt like they walk into my stomach, but I hate feeling that, feeling guilty for leaving my dad without knowing where I went and for sneaking out of the house but then my feet touch the dirty ground from the races.

The Hip-Hop music worms into my ears sending a familiar excitement through my veins but unfortunately, I wasn’t here for a race. I was here looking for the familiar blonde hair. I make my way into the crowded place as I see girls kissing each other, some boys touching other girl’s arses.

I cringe at the sight of them as I put my hands inside my pockets then I hear Ralph announcing the next race and that’s when I should come in. He is always the first to race, well, at least he was when I used to come here often but bad habits don’t change even if you tried to they always come back and that’s sad because right now I find myself in that position.

I fell back into the bad state of drugs and I hate it because I broke hundred of promises by just my dumb and selfish actions but everything’s just like that, just when you thought everything was going to be okay the life proves you wrong by turning it upside down and taking anything they can away from you.

There I am standing in the crowd unwanted to be seen by anyone who once knew me but then just when I don’t wanna be noticed someone bumped into me just like that time in the airport but this time I am not the one with the drink all over my clothes it’s just some guy “I am so sorry, I didn’t mean it” I say keeping my head down for him not to be allowed to see my face.

“It’s okay, I am the one who dumped into you” at the sound of his voice I shut my head up to meet green eyes and a really dark hair almost black “Wait, aren’t you the legend from here?” I shake my head, regret os looking up washes all over my body making my jaw twitch “No, you must be mistaken me for someone else” I tell him still looking at the dirty floor form the street that is stopping me to get consumed from the earth, unfortunately.

“No, I am sure I have seen you racing before” I can feel him pointing at me making me want to turn around and run away from someone who just recognized me but instead of that my feet glue themselves to the pavement making impossible to me to even bend down to reach something.

“You are-” just when he is about to open that curious mouth, a girl with jealousy and anger reflected in her eyes that allows you to see the flames inside her body comes rushing towards him just to let every curse known for the human existence let out like some kind of song, like she is a muse but in that moment I take in her appearance.

A Spanish, tanned with brown hair but green eyes stand there with just something that looks like underwear color blue and yellow, making her curves go out and her ass look bigger but then I recognize her. One of the girls that always starts the races but no, there are a lot of them. This is the favorite one, Marcus favorite one and that’s why she always started mine.

Grabbing my cue to leave like it’s the last life I’ve got in a game of Nintendo, I rush away from there slowly making it almost unnoticeable. I try to stay on the first line but then “It’s time to start, just let’s start the evening with the traditional opening of the king” The crowd goes absolutely insane as the mop of blonde hair is seen but then the body is what takes every girl’s breath away which I clearly don’t understand why.

Marcus has always been a skinny guy, he has never been lean, muscular or had a great body, he has always just been skinny but today that skinny body was in nothing but a tuxedo which meant that he was racing someone so important. He used to do that, wear a tuxedo when the son of a bitch would be clearly convinced that he would win with everyone who wanted to challenge him but as no one was announced everyone was confused.

“Do you know why no one is raising their hands?” I ask some girl with black skin but beautifully shaped in her way “No one was allowed” with that I wait for him to run my evening by just saying the next words “I know you are here, my queen” it feels like the world stops making every cell existent of my body stop making its metabolism, I feel the blood drawn from my face making it go as pale as a sheet of white paper.

Once again I feel in the clouds, I feel heaven slowly calling to dead just that this time I didn’t need any kind of substance to make the nervous system act and react this way, I just needed to hear his voice to hear him challenge me.

“What are you waiting for?” he calls me out again but no one turns to see me, the confusing look is so clear in their faces some of them are even determined to find a face that seems suspicious to them “You really thought you could enter into my system without me knowing it?” the sarcasm in his voice is totally dead, my foolish thoughts made me even think that he wouldn’t notice.

“I just came here to talk” I finally manage the voice to come out from my throat, the echo filling the place but worst all the eyes existent in the world, snapping their gazes to me. I slowly raise my head proudly “You never keep your head down, do you?” I shake my head at him with a smirk coming to my lips like it’s a tradition.

He makes his way into where I’m standing but every time he steps closer I take a step backward the smirk slowly falling into pieces and vanishing from where it was “Leah Anderson afraid of me? That’s kind of new” I stop in my tracks as I hear those words mixed together but instead of keep going backward, I keep moving forward.

My face moves so close his that I manage to see the pores of his ski opening up, his jaw twitching and his teeth gripping his teeth making it for me hearable “I told you, I just came here to talk. How would I be afraid of someone who has the impertinence to threat killing a six-month-old girl?” my voice comes out as a whisper making his eyes go wild with flames and his fingers dug into his hands to stop from punching me.

“You know I don’t do things this way” he tells me with so much anger in his voice that makes everyone explode into whispers and his men tense up as his tone, then I laugh and put my pal in the one who looks scarier “Don’t worry, I won’t do him any harm” I say tapping the man’s chest with my pat but I feel his chest tensed at my touch making the smirk appear.

The tension is thick that feels like I just got everyone into a tiny bottle making them feel smaller and smaller each time and I love it. One of the feelings that I like but shouldn’t even have the slightest idea of it, it is power. I like to feel everyone in the palm of my hand like I can manipulate every of them, like some they are kind of puppets.

The feeling of power, makes the evil part from you come out, to make everyone miserable, frightened or even happy. You can just make them feel what you want but the power and manipulation are something that you shouldn’t feel, all that satisfaction that every time you do something goes rushing into your system, shouldn’t be there.

Because then it comes the punishment; I have had learned that every action of selfishness comes with punishment either losing someone you love or losing who you once were but this time it’s different “Race against me” the words that come out of his mouth come out like some kind of sharp knife that dug into my chest.

“You raise against me and if you win, you will take the money and have the talk you want to have but,” that pause makes me scares me so much that I feel my hand slightly shaking “If I win, I will take the money and have my talk with you” making emphasis on the word ‘my’ I already knew what it means.

Then my brain makes the best but the most rascal thing that can ever exist, lie “I told you, I came here to talk not to race so I don’t have money on me” it’s been a really long time since I have last come to race, and even with him. The last time I came here was when I was with Abbie and Sarah but it was something different, the boy that I was racing against was an inexperienced boy, this time I was racing against the one who brought me into this in the first place.

“Don’t worry about that, Le. There is no problem, all the money is on me” I take a deep breath but think that I don’t have any car and instantly make the idea aloud, without any doubts Marcus tell one of their men to bring a car for me. Accepting my fate I accept the deal and the race, with that all the crowd breaks into screams, cheers, and applauses.

I feel my blood running cold against my skin and through my veins, the hormone of adrenaline rushing into me like someone just injected me with it but then when I see the car I am racing with, my breath hitches on my throat making everything around me stop, I feel like someone just put their hand on my chest and take my heart out “You can’t-do this” I whisper with so much hate that I didn’t even know was there “I can and I will. Get into the car” he demands.

Slowly walking to the navy blue car, it kept looking like we last left it in front of that house. That navy blue car that brings so many memories that haunt me every day of my life, slowly approaching the door, I wrap my fingers around the handle to open the door of the driver seat.

My head is now punding from everything making me want to put myself into a ball just to cry my heart out but instead of that, I stay still all strong just with my eyes focused on the road in front of me and the Spanish girl from before walking into the middle of the two cares “Remember there are no rules, behave badly and enjoy the race” as those words left her mouth my hands go towards the leather steering wheel that it’s in front of me.

“Good look, my babies” with a final wink, she moves her big hips side to side towards the front of the both cars “I will this one for you, Jordan,” I say under my breath slowly looking at the picture of us that is hanging from the rear-view mirror “One two, three. Go” I feel my foot pressing itself into the accelerator making the car go further that I have ever thought.

Then I feel every part of me becoming hot, my blood runs through my veins almost burning my skin making my cheeks flush as the adrenaline runs into my system, going through my veins and blurring my vision with just excitement. I turn to the left, making feet step on the accelerator, the engine going insanely wild like it’s some kind of teenage party going in there.

Everything passes in a blur, my mind goes wild and the car too, then everything just turns into darkness.

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