Keyhole Saw

By Kalina Panayotova All Rights Reserved ©



She is the polite neighbor. She is a landscaper. She is a teacher, a mentor. For the lonely Native American, for the just moved-in kleptomaniac, for the intelligent and sensitive teenager, she is the soulmate that they’ve longed for. No one can give you, what she can promise you. She can be anybody. She can be who you want her to be. She is .... A voyeur and a vagrant, a lonely young woman breaks into the lives of her neighbors, of her chosen ones, to partake in the myriad lives she creates and obsesses over. They think they know her? But do they? Can they see the tightening leash of her embrace? Can they really see her? Can they truly see her?

Chapter One

You can call me India. My aunt called me India. I am not sure if that’s really my name, but at the same time I am sure. It becomes me.

You probably want to know about my young years. How and in what circumstances was I born? Did my parents want me, or was I a broken condom, a pill not taken, (too many vodkas) and an unpredicted load gone wild? What were my parents like? All first-seven-years-are-most-important kind a crap.

Frankly, I don’t feel like heading in that direction.

And even if I did, I really couldn’t, because I don’t know. I don’t know if I was carried around as an infant all the god damn time by my mother, pressed warmly to her chest, feeling her heartbeat, as the Yekuana Indians did, or was I kicked and bounced around like an unwanted puppy. I don’t know if I slept in my parents’ bed, or if I was left alone somewhere, crying my ass off and tearing my lungs. I don’t know if I was breastfed or fed with formula. I don’t even fuckin’ know if I was taken care of by humans or a she-wolf.

Was I born originally with my peculiar manner, or formed by external influences? Was my violent nature innate, a code from my mother’s infernal womb, or has it been shaped by outside interferences at a most delicate age, when unremembered memories thrust their solid roots into the abyss of the unconscious? I also do not know if any of it matters. I do believe in somewhat of a cosmic control, so I would leave it at that. I was not only a matter of chance, but I was also needed in this world for some higher purpose, leaving my fragile trail in the universe as a snowflake in the soft, cushiony snow.

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