Sweat filled the air like perfume. Muscles ached like when you exercise for the first time. Anger contaminated the air like dirty water leaked into a pool. It has been almost a year and the pain within Alec has not subsided. Instead, anger and depression invaded him and made a home inside of his mind and heart. The only way Alec could keep himself busy was by constantly working. He became more distant from his family, friends, and pack.
The chain connecting the punching bag to the tree limb snapped. Just like that, memories that he had consumed his body. The overwhelming sadness of his mistakes rushed to his mind. It was like torture. Alec became so enraged that he grabbed the thick tree branch and tore it off the tree and tossed it with the broken punching back.
“Jeez. What did that tree branch do to you?”
Alec’s head snapped around and he saw Damon. Damon was the only, it seemed like, that could pull Alec back from losing himself. Rem and Alec didn’t talk much since Alec came back from Alaska because Rem declared he wanted nothing to do with Alec. Rem also stated he was stepping down from his position next year after he heard the story of what happened. Alice gave Alec the silent treatment for the first couple of months. She said that he ruined the one good thing in his life. Now seeing the cause of his actions, he understood that he fucked up. It was like he continued losing people in his life.
Since Damon had Alpha blood he was the only match against Alec when he became feral. Alec struggled a lot and Damon was the only one able to test his patience. They argued like brothers but it helped eased the emptiness that Alec felt. The two of them became pretty close. Damon did not hate Alec but at first, he was angry at him. He felt bad for the whole situation, especially when he heard stories of how violent he became toward his pack members. That’s when Damon personally decided to drive himself from his pack to Alec’s pack. There had been three incidents that ended badly in the pack since Damon arrived. One resulted in Damon and Alec fighting so that Alec wouldn’t kill anyone else while he was not in control of himself.
Damon managed to keep everyone safe and he also helped Alec in ways that no one wanted too. His friends and family were so furious at him to stand up to him and tell him he needed help. As for his pack, they never knew they had a Luna, to begin with. The pack just assumed that Leah was just another girl when they first saw her at the tournament.
“Are you gonna answer me?” Damon gained back the attention of Alec, who was staring off into space.
“It pissed me off.” He was referring to the punching bag.
“Hey, at least the punching bag itself didn’t bust like the other thirty-seven ones. We can just get a new chain.”
“I guess,” Alec muttered and put his shirt back on. He grabbed the towel and wiped the sweat off his face.
“It’s time to leave for your appointment,” Damon said and they both headed back to the house. Alec got a quick shower and picked out some clothes. He met Damon down in the kitchen and ate some sandwiches that Damon prepared. Then they left for Alec’s anger management appointment.
When Damon first arrived, a couple months ago, Alec and Damon fought until the sun came up. Since they fought in wolf form, they were both injured badly and had to be hospitalized. Damon more than Alec, but Alec gave him respect for standing his ground. However, Alec was still the more dominant one, but he did listen to Damon when he suggested anger management. After all, Alec would just have to look around at his pack and pack members to see the damage he caused. More remorse filled his body that day after seeing the damage he had done. Alec loved his pack and he never wanted them to fear him. But they did. His pack members feared him so badly that they didn’t step one foot out of their house for a week, and some were still grieving for their lost ones. All of them were hesitant around him like walking on eggshells.
Alec tried to gain back their love by hosting a cookout two months ago. At first only a few showed up, then the news traveled fast at his quickly changed behavior. At the end of that cookout, almost the whole pack was there. Most of the ones that didn’t arrive were the ones that were still grieving. Rem and Alice didn’t show up either and he wished to see them the most. Later in that month, most of the pack felt at ease around him when they found out he was taking anger management. Out of the newfound kindness in his heart, he decided to visit the families that were still upset over their lost family members, and he brought them flowers and food. After all, it was his fault because he had killed them. Most of the families refused, still upset, but some accepted because they understood how a wolf could become feral. Alec felt ashamed of himself for ever getting out of control because he lost a good friend that day who thought she would be able to stop his beast. Nonetheless, That was why the pack loved Damon. Damon helped their Alpha with his strange anger which was unknown to the pack members.
Soon, Damon reached the small town, away from their pack land. The land was two miles deep in the woods, therefore: no one could wander into Alec’s land.
Damon figured that a way to help Alec control his anger was by putting him in an environment that made him angry, so he could learn how to control it better. For some reason, Alec hated humans, and Damon registered him in a class filled with humans. If Alec was able to control his anger in an environment that he hated, then he would be able to control himself in an environment that he loved, his pack.
At first, Alec thought that anger management was bullshit. Alec felt that no amount of humans talking could change the fact that his mate was dead. He hated the first couple weeks of going, but the results showed. He was slowly progressing, but not fully. Only enough to contain himself. He took his anger out in other ways, as the humans suggested. At angry days he would go boxing, running, or exercising. He used his newfound eyesight to do normal activities like fishing, and he loved to go to shooting ranges. He also met female humans that were good looking and he would distract himself. Alec may have not liked humans but a woman is a woman. Alec also took up many offers from the females in his pack.
Many members of his pack would start to say that he looked happy and even enjoy himself. Alec knew that was not true. Still, deep down inside he was broken. Even more than before.
“Hey, we are here. Would you like me to stay this time?” Damon questioned.
Alec shook his head, “I’m good, thanks.” It was only an hour. Knowing the risks, of losing control and hurting or killing humans in public, Alec felt like he could control himself today.
“I’ll see you in an hour.” Damon waved goodbye. Alec sighed under his breath, “Lets get this over with.” He walked into the small building with lots of humans. He made his way through the sea of people and took his usual seat. He glanced around the room anxiously. His eyes settled on a girl named Bella.
Bella was a woman with blond hair and brown eyes. Alec thought she was beautiful, which is why he met up with her several times in a hotel room, but her beauty couldn’t compare to his dead mate. Bella smiled wholeheartedly at him, and Alec returned a half smile that screamed Brokenness. Alec sat in the chair, with humans around, feeling numb.
The meeting dragged on very slowly. Alec never thought an hour could be so long. But like the other meetings, this one came to an end. He eagerly stood up, prepared to leave when Bella made her way toward him.
“Hey, handsome.” Alec had to refrain himself from cringing at her voice. He just wasn’t in the mood today and had no desire to give her any attention. He wanted nothing more than for Leah to say those words to him because for some reason she was on Alec’s mind. He just couldn’t shake her dead body out of his mind.
“Hello.” He monotonously said.
“Do you want to hang out with me tonight?” She purred.
“Not tonight. I have work to do.” He replied. She pouted but accepted his words. They held a dreadfully long conversation before Damon swept in and saved him.
“Hey, you ready to go? We have that business meeting.” Damon stood beside Alec. Bella watched both of them with thirsty eyes.
“Yes, lets go,” Alec answered. There was no business meeting. It was just a cover-up that Damon and Alec had planned last week. Humans could be pesky and insistent creatures. At moments like this, he regretted ever giving them the time of day.
“How was it?” Damon asked once they were in Damon’s new truck that Alec bought him.
“Boring,” Alec muttered looking out the truck window. He didn’t really feel like talking and Damon noticed. It wasn’t that Alec didn’t want to talk to Damon, it was just something on Alec’s mind. More like someone. He exhaled trying to forget about his troubles.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Damon asked.
Alec shook his head and observed the scenery rolling by. Soon, the small town disappeared and it was replaced by woods. Alec loved the forest better than the town because his wolf felt free. The only time he could communicate with his inner wolf was when he shifted and he couldn’t enjoy those times any more than he already did. Alec prioritized his wolf and he missed him dearly. When Leah died, his wolf blocked him out. His own wolf blamed him and that damaged Alec even more. Being outcasted by your own friends was tolerable but being outcasted by your inner half was depressing.
Alec recalled the two times he tried taking his own life but failed. He tried hanging himself but Rem stopped him just in time. That was the first and last time Rem spoke to him in such a caring manner since he returned. The second time Alec had a gun to his skull but Damon busted through the door and wrestled it out of his hands. Alec such was a mess since Leah died. His biggest mistake was ever laying a harmful hand on Leah.
Pushing his horrible memories to the back of his head he focused on something happier. He focused on the woods. One of his interests, when he was young, was hiking and seeing all the beautiful animals. It was springtime and all the deer were out to play. For the first time, he did not crave to eat them. Alec just wanted to observe them and put his eyes to good use.
“We are here.”
Alec had zoned out and didn’t realize they were in the pack complex until Damon said something.
“Thank you,” Alec said and hopped out of his truck. He made his way to his house and waved to Damon. He opened the door to his house and the wonderful scent of chicken hit his nose. Alice was cooking dinner.
“Hey, sis.” Alec softly said.
“Hi.” She blankly said. Alice looked at her older brother. She couldn’t hate him for what he did but she was still mad. However, eventually, she would have to get over herself. She wondered why Rem couldn’t do the same. She loved Leah but she loved Alec more. But, she did not condone his actions toward Leah.
Alice and Alec sat at the dining room and ate peacefully together. They didn’t have much conversation but Alice’s presence was enough for Alec. He appreciated it to the maximum. After Alec was done, he placed his plate in the sink and went up to his office for some alone time. It has been a long day for him.
Alec sat in his office and loaded up his computer to do some work. While typing in his password he locked eyes with the photo frame on his desk. A small four by four inch frame perched on his mahogany desk. He studied the photo. It was taken on their trip. In the photo, Alec and Leah were in the back seat of Damon’s old truck. Alec had fallen asleep on Leah’s shoulder. He gazed at Leah’s beautiful smile and her vibrant eyes. He closed his eyes tightly trying to stop the tears. Alec wondered to himself how someone could possibly be happy in the situation that he put her in.
Alec thought he would finally be happy about getting his eyesight back, but at the price it had cost, he wasn’t sure anymore.