I looked down at the three syringes neatly aligned on my desk, each of them bearing the same amount of antiserum that offered me my needed peace.
It was my twenty sixth round and I had started medicating myself ever since I was just a juvenile. Maintaining a strict schedule, it was mandatory for me to give myself the three consecutive shots every five months, and it was for the strong purpose of not letting the wolf inside me from ever having the strength to reach the surface.
To reach me.
It was better that way; to stop the wolf that held ambitions that were deeply rooted from greed. Even if it meant destroying half of who I was, I had to shut it down, knowing full well that it was never born to concede, but to fight for the reign that it thought it truly deserved.
It wanted me to cast dominion over a pack ruled by another alpha, to stand untamed, feared, and respected by hundreds of werewolves crawling beneath its feet. It was a queen that craved to be the king, and it held a sinister thirst for power that I never wanted to answer to.
It’s better this way.
I strapped a band tight around my arm and straightened out my joint. With a quivering hand, I reached for the first shot of the thick, dark liquid before lifting it within eye level to check for any air bubbles.
I pointed the syringe against my vein and I lifted up my eyes to look straight at the band of trees through my window. I set up a mental countdown, and as soon as I took a large intake of breath, I let the needle break through my skin.
Suppress the beast.
While I slowly pressed down, I could feel the antiserum pushing through my vessel, the substance so thick that it was hard not to ignore as it seeped into my body.
Each shot of the substance strengthened the barrier that separated me and my wolf, and I welcomed the effects despite my own heart clenching from the expanding feeling of separation.
I dropped the last empty shot on the table and placed my arms against the desk for support as I suddenly lost my ability to stand upright. I felt lightheaded and weak, the tips of my fingers were buzzing, and I could feel my own body dropping its temperature.
My shoulders tensed from the sudden appearance of my nurse, and I looked over my shoulder to see Emma standing stiffly by the open door.
“Give me a minute please,” I managed to say amidst my labored breath, and I quickly removed the band wrapping tightly around my arm and placed it in the drawer of my desk.
I could smell the metallic scent of blood from the emergency room that wafted strongly into my office.
I refused to meet Emma’s eyes, knowing how she could never mask her disappointment for me. I swiftly disposed of the syringes into the bin and turned around to face her properly.
I ran a tongue through my dry lips and tried to flatten the top of my disorderly brown braided hair.
“Sanitized and anesthetized?” I questioned her curtly, to which she sighed in response.
“Yes,” Emma nodded. I could tell she wanted to say something, but she decided to ignore it despite the look of disapproval written clearly on her face.
I quickly followed her lead to the emergency room where I saw a male juvenile laying on his stomach on the bed, and I locked my jaw tight at the disturbing sight of the large cut that started on the nape of his neck and ended deeply on the middle of his back.
“I’m n-not really,” Peter released a pained grunt, “good when it comes to silver.”
“I’ve had my fair share with silver as well,” I forced myself to send Peter a soft, reassuring smile and approached his bed to put on the gloves settled on the table beside him.
While I slid on my gloves, I noticed that Peter’s eyes had drifted off to my arm where there were three angry punctures decorating my skin. It looked horrible with the dark substance leaking out of them, and I quickly pulled them out of the male’s curious eyes by rolling my sleeve down a little.
Those punctures should have healed the moment I left my office, and it indeed, sent a wave of fear to roll over my mind.
Must’ve gone a little over with the dosage.
“Are you okay, Doctor Press?” Peter shot me a look, his eyebrows furrowed as his blue eyes regarded me worriedly.
I released a chuckle as I began preparing the sutures for his back, “I should be the one asking that, Peter.”
“Stay still. Are you ready?” I looked at the juvenile. With a nod of his head, I began the first stitch through his open wound.
As I did my work on Peter, Emma disappeared into the reception room and came back tense and shaken.
I lifted an eyebrow at her sudden change of mood as I kept myself busy trying to stitch up Peter’s cut. “Is something wrong?” I questioned the female, to which she replied by deepening the furrow of her eyebrows.
“Beta Reed is in the reception room... I thought you would have sensed him by now,” Emma told me, and my fingers halted midway as I pushed the needle through my patient’s skin.
“Oh,” I released a breath and shook my head, “I must’ve been too preoccupied with what’s in front of me.”
“He wants to speak with you, Val. You can go to him, I’ll finish this up for you,” Emma approached me to take the task off my hand and ushered me out of the room.
I wanted to snarl at the fact that she found the ease to dismiss me, but the obstruction I put between me and my wolf took away that ability. I was not intimidating anymore.
I entered the reception room and found Beta Reed standing tall in his white shirt and blue jeans. He had his strong arms crossed above his chest, his dark hair thrown in different places, as he wore a troubled look on his face.
I could feel the small amount of frustration coming from his wolf, and I furrowed my eyebrows at the rattled Beta standing inside my infirmary.
“Beta Reed,” I greeted him monotonously and slightly bowed my head in a small show of respect before lifting my eyes to regard him properly.
“Alpha Azeil asks for you at the northern border. There’s something he needs for you to see.”
I shoved my hands inside the pockets of my white coat, “A werewolf crossed our border?”
Beta Reed looked puzzled, and it was like he was trying his best to comprehend what he witnessed at the northern border himself.
He wasn’t sure.
Beta Reed held his silence for a moment and shook his head, “No... something crossed our border.”