Chapter 23: Bedtime
They all giggled their way to bed. Happy and flushed with their debauchery.
Cass climbed into a pair of pyjamas and then into the cool sheets of the bed. She then threw eight variously shaped cushions from the bed and finally settled down. She was beginning to doze when her door creaked and Luke still giggling announced himself;”Here’s Johnny”
“You are not funny, fuck off. I want to sleep.”
“You love my Jack impression,” Luke said petulantly. “I am really good at it.”
“You are still high,”sighed Cass.
“Yeap and wanting company. Don’t let me be lonely,” He jumped into bed with her. “What the fuck are you wearing? You look like you are going to mug someone!”
“I like wearing tracky bottoms in bed. I get cold.”
“Well get them off, I am here now!”
“Nope, these are man proof and you can piss off back to your own bed.”
“I don’t want too, I want to stay right here. Please Cass, I don’t want to be on my own.”
“Well you can stay but no wandering hands. The party was the party and this is different. I have some Valium in my wash bag if you are having problems sleeping.”
“Why have you got Valium?”
“Why do you think?” Cass said curtly.
Luke was silent. He never liked upsetting Cass. He did not know how to talk to her about Jason and what she did after the funeral. He was not sure whether if he talked about it would make it worse.
He found the idea of self harm distasteful and terrifying. He knew that she was still receiving help, but he did not know what and if he was honest, did not want to know. He just knew that he did not want her to hurt herself again.
Cass saw she had embarrassed him and felt guilty. Guilty for being slightly unstable and guilty being the source of embarrassment and discomfort.
Luke used his best tool in his armoury to change the subject and started bitching about someone else,” What is Sam doing? Have you met that guy? What an arse! You know that she and Jens slept together the other night we were at the club.”
“No,” Cass was slightly hurt that she had not been told.
“Don’t get upset about it, you know what she is like. Great at passing judgment, not so great at receiving it,” Luke chided. “You know I think she is great but she is being stupid.”
“There is not much we can do, she has made up her mind,” Cass turned over to face him. “How is Jens taking it?”
“The wedding fiasco, you mean? I can only guess that he is pretty upset about the whole thing, but as we both have testicles, we drink beer and discuss rugby, once he has got over the shock. I believe that he is taking it pretty badly because he is leaving to start a career in Nevis.”
“Which Chambers is that? I have never heard of it?”
“It is not a Chambers, my beautiful ignoramus, it is a tiny island in the Caribbean. Your friend has broken his heart and he is off to find his fortune in a dirty little tax haven. The fickleness of women have meant that I have lost my best friend to the other side of the world.”
“Don’t be sexist and don’t be racist,” Cass barked at him.
“I am not being racist, I am sure that Nevis is beautiful and the people are very nice, but any tax haven by its very nature is sordid. But yes, I was being slightly sexist,” grinned Luke.
“You question sordid behaviour after what has happened tonight?” Cass laughed.
“But our behaviour was consensual and for the benefit of all involved. Tax Havens are only beneficial for the very rich, and they fuck everyone else over.”
“You are absurd,” sighed Cass, turned over. “Night Night Trotsky.”
Luke took the hint and stopped talking. He soon realised that Cass was asleep. He watched her sleep. It was not at the peaceful experience, he had hoped for. Her breathing became heavier. The slight murmuring made him uncomfortable, like he was listening into a private conversation. He had to leave when he saw the tears trace down her cheek.