Mother proceeded with her tirade while I pretended to care and listen. It was becoming clear to me why father had abandoned her all of those years ago.
Although I felt horrible for thinking like that, it was all I could do as she was screaming at me over something quite silly.
She continued to yell with road rage as we bypassed car after car travelling well over the speed limit. I had already forgotten why she was so upset in the first place.
Oh right, I remembered... a boy.
All I ever wanted in life was to be a normal kid, but I was anything but normal. My mother had so many mental issues that I couldn’t keep up with them all. Agoraphobia, ADHD, OCD, helicoptermomia... okay, I may have made that one up.
She had a LOT of issues. One in particular, was keeping me sheltered from the entire world, including my father.
My mother and father met about 19 years ago when they were in college at UCLA. She loved writing, and he enjoyed journalism. They took all of the same classes together at first, fell in love... the works. Until, my father decided that his passion was to become a teacher. So, he changed his major and started taking different courses.
My parents slowly started to fall apart which resulted in them breaking up. He wanted to move out of California, and she was never going to leave.
Just before their graduation, they had realized they weren’t right for each other, but by then it was too late. My mother was already pregnant with me. They had already decided that going separate ways was what was best for them both, but when my father found out, he decided that he would stay in California for me.
They ended up getting married, made it about 5 years, and then all I remember was nonstop fighting. Eventually, my father moved out, and my mother stopped talking to everyone. She stopped talking to her friends, she glued herself to her typewriter, and wrote until she became a best-selling author.
At that point, she didn’t have a reason to leave her house ever again, so she decided to home-school me. By then, she fought with my dad so much, he couldn’t take the fighting anymore and felt that it was best for everyone if he moved far away to Alaska where he had an amazing job offer.
“...and that’s all boys are good for.” Mother finished her rant at that subject while bashing the horn of the car at the person driving the speed limit in front of us taunting them to speed up. I don’t understand why she was in such a rush to get home. We didn’t have any plans today, and it was barely past noon.
“Sure mom, whatever you say,” I murmured under my breath. I was trying to listen to her, but my body was naturally taught to ignore her when she went on like this. That was always my save; to agree to whatever she was ranting about. I could never bear hurting her and snapping at her was not my thing.
I adored my mom, even when I was upset with her and didn’t believe I deserved to be treated like this. Although, at times I slightly hated her for keeping me so sheltered and for scaring dad away, I never stopped loving her. I knew she had good intentions, but part of me still felt like I had lost my entire childhood, because of her antisocial agoraphobia issues.
I never wanted to do anything to hurt her, but she was making it really difficult for me not to dislike her right now. I really wanted to go to prom, because this would more than likely be my only chance as a home-schooled child. That’s all I wanted. To go to the prom with the boy of my dreams, Ethan. I was hurt and furious, but I dropped the subject entirely and moved on. I could feel my stomach twisting into knots. Texting Ethan and telling him I won’t be able to go, will be the hardest thing for me to do.
I took a deep breath and glared down at my pathetic flip-phone. Everyone around my age, including their grandmas, is walking around with androids, but I was stuck with this ancient piece. I went to text him, and I couldn’t. My fingers were shaking uncontrollably, and my vision began to blur.
How was I going to gain the courage to text this cute guy I have been flirting with at the supermarket for the past three years and been in love with since I was thirteen years old, that I could not go to prom with him after all?
I was seventeen years old, and I’ve never been to prom, held hands with a boy, kissed a boy, and probably never will until I’m old or in my twenties. I know it won’t ever happen until I can get away from my mom.
I took a deep breath. I had to tell him. I had to come up with the right words to type out to him. I pulled my phone back up so that I could see the tiny numbers I had to push to text out the words, but before I could type up the first word, my phone flew out of my hands. My body smashed to the left throwing me out of my seat-belt into the driver’s side of the car where mom should have been, but was now gone. I could hear the squeals of car brakes and horns scattering around us.
The smell of burnt rubber and gasoline engulfed my nostrils, my eyes were burning too much to see anything from the smoke surrounding the inside of our car, my ears were ringing uncontrollably and everything sounded faint. I couldn’t make out where mom was. Where had she gone? I heard sounds of people yelling, but couldn’t make out where they were coming from. Within seconds, I heard another screech of brakes coming towards me. The car swerved hard to the left throwing me back into the passenger seat, glass was shattering all over the inside and smashing into my face. Thankfully, I was able to press my hands onto the front of my face fast enough to stop the glass from doing damage. That’s when I heard the screams of my mother.
That silence would be the most traumatizing moment of my existence.
That silence was the end of everything for me.
That silence changed my life forever...