At Any Cost | Book One of Exafortespent

By Alma Azura Celia All Rights Reserved ©

Action / Drama

Forty: Feelings

“Colton, you freaking dipshit, thank you for getting me a panic attack.” I walk towards him outside of the house, rolling my eyes as I fold my arms over my chest. A scowl already covering my face as I stand right in front of him, who looks clueless as heck.

“What?” He keeps his eyes on mine, the look on his face showing me how clueless he is about what I’m actually talking about at the moment. Or how he is pretending to look.

A little sigh escapes past my lips as I try to hold myself back from snapping at him that would obviously could draw attention to us.

“You fucking said it was almost eight when it’s actually just 6.27 in the freaking morning.” I say through my gritted teeth, narrowing my eyes at him in anger, still trying to be as calm as I could.

“I’m sorry, Sophie. It’s just a prank.” He does a little shrug, sad, innocent smile appears on his face as he stares down at me with guilt.

“Yeah, one of the classic and freaking cruel prank.” I roll my eyes, annoyed by his boring reason that he would always said after he did the prank to me.

A grin replaces his sad smile after he sees me rolling my eyes. And make me more annoyed at him. As I think about how annoying he could be in any other day, the thought of my glasses cross my mind, make me forget about his prank this morning just in a blink of an eye.

The scowl on my face is replaced by a grin and I unfold my arms, suddenly feeling very excited to tell him the news.

“Oh, guess what I just figured out.”

“What?” His eyebrows merges into a line at the sight of my emotion changing and his head tilted to the side in confusion and curiosity twinkles in his eyes, make me even more eager to tell him about it.

“My glasses.” His eyebrows get even more closer than it was the first time it gets furrowed, his eyes goes blank for a second, thinking about my words until he bring his eyes back to mine.

“What’s with that?”

“I can ask direction on it and it shows the way. And the most importantly is, I can record anything with this.” I tap my glasses, which I love even more this morning, lightly a few times, with the smile still on my face.

“That’s incredible. I guess that would help you with your work, a lot.” He smiles at me, seems like happy for this discovery.

“Yeah. And Mr. Warren said there’s still a lot of things I haven’t figured out yet. Like, maybe the pen or makeup he gave me has some secret weapon in it. But I don’t know, I guess I’m just imagining things too much.”

That’s would be really great to have such things, but I guess I can’t get my hopes to high on things like these because it would only disappoint myself if things doesn’t go the way I wanted to.

“To know all about that, I guess you just have to check your stuffs out.” He suggests.

“I will, after school and the shitty assignment with Matthew.” I sigh out loud at how bad this day would be. Another day with Matthew Williams, but for only few days left. Gotta gather myself together and go through this with the patience I have left in me for him.

And then I realize of what I just said. The one thing that I shouldn’t have said to him no matter what. And I just said that to him frankly because I don’t think of my words first before saying it out loud.

Oh fuck, did I just said that? Please tell me I didn't said that.

“What assignment are you talking about? Maybe I could help you and him with that?” His eyebrows raise, hint of amusement in his eyes. But mostly he seems like really wanting to help me. And there’s no way for him to help me in the mess I made myself.

“Oh, nothing.” I quickly reply, shaking my head a little too vigorously. “It’s just a chemistry assignment for me to explain him what we learn today because he doesn’t understand it.” I say, laughing nervously.

He stares at me like he doesn’t buy any of the words I just said. He has this look in his eyes like ‘Are you even saying the truth? Because that’s not sounds like the truth because I know Matthew better and I know he’s not that stupid in chemistry.’

Why did the thing I said is the first thing that came across my mind?

“Are you sure? Because the last thing I know from him is he is the winner of this chemistry competition for last years. 1st place for your info.” He says in matter-of-fact voice.

What? Wow, he’s so freaking smart despite all the shits he done to me. He should've been act smarter and treat other people kindly, not treat them like some mosquitoes and just clapped them and crushed them until they die.

He keeps staring at me strangely, make me even more nervous under his eyes that I bet already knew all the excuses I would be making next is a lie too.

Come on, Sophie. Think of something!

“Oh, I mean it’s literature assignment. We have to write this story for minimum 1000 words.” Well, it's actually the assignment for me and Brodie that I already finished working on with him days ago. Let's just hope he will trust me on this one because I can't think of anything else that would make him believe me.

“Are you sure? Because you told me days ago you were going to do it with Brodie at his house which is in front of ours.”

How can he know all of this? Is he a spy that spying on me which also a spy that's on her duty? I bet he is. Maybe Mr. Warren told him to watch on me and tell him if I really work on my job or not. And that means there’s no excuses left to make. So maybe I just have to come clean with him. It's not like he wouldn't know about this anyway.

“Fine! It’s just a shitty assignment Mrs. Rosemary assigned us.” I let out a loud sigh and my eyes rolls instinctively, a bad habit I should get rid of sooner or later.

“What is it?” He asks, seems interested in this assignment which also mean he doesn't have any idea about this assignment. Great, now I have to explain this to him.

“Doing our homework, practicing baseball together, and going out together.” I avoid his eyes that searches for mine, looking anywhere but his eyes as I scowl at nothing in particular.

He snorts, sounds amused by my words that he probably imagine in his head right now. I give him a glare for a second and look away again, the scowl still remains on my face.

“Really? What did both of you do until she told you to do that?” I take a deep breath a let it out as a sigh, trying to calm myself down.

“It’s because of the freaking dare your friends and told me to do, okay?! He embarrassed me in front of the school kids. You’re happy now?” I shout at his face, not realizing I already standing so close to him our chest almost touching.

He seems taken aback, taking a step back with the look on his face that tells me he really is shocked at my outburst, and make me guilty for a split second. I let out a loud sigh again.

I begin to take a controlled breathing, putting a hand on my chest as I try to calm my heart that beating fast in my chest and my fast breathing. I can’t lose my shit this early, I still have a long day ahead of me.

“Woah, woah, woah. Hold on.” I look up at him, his face changes from shocked to confusion as he raises his hands, thinking hard about my words. “But, how?”

“Because I threw the freaking spoon to his goddamn face.” I run a hand through my hair and I bet I look like such a mess right now with my hair like this and me pacing in front of his car a little, still trying to calm myself down.

“Sophie, that’s not my fault.” He says quietly, and sounds like he's the innocent person who does nothing when he actually has one of the big role in it.

“It is your fault! If you and your stupid friends didn’t told me to do that, I’m sure that would not be happening.” It is the truth. If they hadn’t put me there in the first place, then none of this would happen to me.

“But Sophie, look at the bright side. You have time to spend with him now, you can get closer to him, you dig information from him.” He smiles at me, seems like he's trying to calm me down too, but in his eyes I can see he looks a little frightened, confused, and nervous at the same time.

“No I can’t. He can’t even look at me without those cold stare and throwing those shitty words at me.” The anger dies down, left me with the feeling of sadness that now is making me can't even think straight for a second right now.

“He can, because I see both of you at the cinema yesterday. You both look so happy, even Ellie looks happy with both of you.” A scoff comes out from my mouth as a bitter smile appeard on my face. Remembering that day only make me feel even more stupid and foolish than I am right now.

“But that moment didn’t last too long. When we got back to our house, he just go back to the asshole he is.” I say, my stare is blank when I look down at the pavement beneath my feet.


Why are we even talking about this? I would probably already in school right now if we don't discuss about this shit and already talking to Chloe right now, distracting her from keeping her hands and eyes from her phone.

“He is Colton. Now stop asking about him, I’m sick of thinking about him.” I turn my body around, my body feels a little tired and my head feels light as I make my way toward my own car.

“Wait, do you have feelings for him?” His words keep me freeze on my track. I'm not even thinking about it, I'm trying not to, but heart always win to make my brain think about the things I shouldn't.

Do I have feelings for him? Do I?

Of course I’m not. There’s no way I can have feelings for an asshole like him.

I shake my head, shaking the thought off of my head as I bring myself back to the reality I'm in right now.

Why am I even thinking about his stupid question? I shouldn’t think about this. Not now. Or ever.

“No, of course not. I would never have feelings for people like him. Never.”

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