Twenty Nine: Feeling Guilty
I walk into the school hallway, and some of the kids there turn their heads at my way, glancing at me while they whisper at one another. But, most of the kids just walk past me or take something from their lockers, just like usual.
I walk upstairs towards my classroom, looking down at stairs. I step into the classroom, eyes observing the room. Most of the kids already here, only Matthew who hasn’t come yet. His chair is empty. Beside his chair, Ryan sitting there, his eyes fixed onto his phone screen.
I take my gaze away from him and walk towards my chair and my eyes find Chloe already there, sitting on her chair. She gazes back and forth her phone screen seriously until her eyebrows knitted. I slip my bag off my shoulder and put it onto the table as I drop myself onto my chair, sighing quietly.
When I bring my face up, I see the boys, Nick, Brodie and Chris, walks towards me briskly with worries covering their faces. Nick stops and stand in front of me, I look up at him and he looks back at me. “Ashley, are you okay? Brodie told us what happened yesterday.” I look away from him and sigh. I look up at him again and say, “I’m fine.”
“Are you sure? After you free-falling from a goddamn tree?” He asks again, looking so worried about me when I'm just feeling fine. Not really, I'm still pretty shaken up by what happened yesterday and it really does kind of affect me in some way.
“I’m fine, Nick. Brodie is the one who saved me.” I look up at him, smiling gratefully at him. He smiles back at me, but worry can be seen clearly on his face.
“What are you guys talking about?” Chloe asks, make me turn my head quickly at her way, who just looks at the boys and I back and forth in confusion and curiosity. I open my mouth to answer her question.
“Ashley fell from a tree yesterday.” Chris replies the question. I close my mouth again and glance at Chris and back to Chloe, who's already looked very shocked by his reply. “What?! That’s why you didn’t came back to the class? Because you got injured?”
“No, I’m not. If I got injured, than I won’t be here with you now.” I reply calmly, feeling like I will burst in anger within a second as I remember what really happened yesterday. “I was just having a bad mood yesterday. But now I’m fine, really. And Brodie and Brandon were there when I fell.”
“But what if they weren’t there?” Nick asks, looking down at me with a frown. I sigh at his question and stare down at my hands on my lap, avoiding people's gazes.
“They were there and now I’m fine. Please don’t bring anything up about yesterday. I’m tired of thinking about what happened.”
“Okay. Next time, just please be careful, will you? I don’t want you to get a little scratch, or a broken bone. Or worst, die. Please just be careful, we just met for a few days and I still want to know you better and be friends.” Chloe says, frowning at me.
I look away from her and look at the door when Matthew suddenly comes and walk briskly to his chair and Ryan looks up at him with worries on his face, attacking him with questions, he answers him with frown plastered onto his face as he just nodding, shaking his head, or shrug his shoulders.
I turn my head around and look back at them, and they’re gazes still trained on Matthew too. I clear my throat as I lookat them one at a time. “Guys.” They turns their head back at my way, looking at me with confusion. “Can you tell me what’s going on with him and that frown?”
“He got called to the principal’s office yesterday, getting some punishment or scolded I guess. When he was back to the class he already had the frown on his face since yesterday.” Chloe explains.
Oh, poor him. Though he's the one who made me angry yesterday, it doesn't mean I'm glad that he got scolded because he doesn't really deserved it. Because I was the one who threw the freaking spoon his way and made him angry in the first place (Well, at first, I didn't thought it would really hit him in the face). But it's my fault that I'm easily offended and angry at him. I should've more control over my emotions, especially anger toward him.
Now, there's nothing I can really do about it. It's already happened and I can't go back in time to stop myself from throwing the goddamn spoon right towards his face. All I can do is to learn from the mistake and not repeating the same thing again.
“What? Really? I’m feeling guilty right now.” I look down at my lap, frowning.
“Wait, what? You said you’re guilty now? He’s the one who’s yelling at you in the first place.” Brodie argues, scowling at me. I sigh at his words, knowing that he's right but still, I feel guilty about it.
“I know. But I was the one who threw the spoon right towards his face the night before. And shit, does it still look bad.” I frown as I turn and look at him for a second, noticing the bruise under his eye.
“Then apologize to him.” Chloe says.
“I can’t.” I shake my head. “He will humiliate me in front of other again.”
“No. Just say-”
“To Ashley Reynolds and Matthew Williams please come to the principal’s office immediately.”