rshifman

Dairytown, PA

Husband, father, market researcher by day. Writer of middle grade and young adult fantasy. Influenced by E. Nesbit and Aslan. Certain the near worlds are real and just beyond our reach.

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A thoroughly engaging drama! (Caution: SPOILERS)

There is so much great about The Curve in the Road. It's well-written and engrossed me in the story nearly throughout. The protagonist, Cooper, has seemingly superhuman abilities, yet he's flawed in a way that's harming his relationships and his outlook on life--he's instantly likable albeit his issues. It's leading him down a desolate road (pun intended) and causing loads of tension in his marriage. The dialogue is crisp and so realistic. The reader may find themselves thinking they've had these conversations. I loved the writing, which engaged me nearly throughout with the tension of whether Cooper will reunite with his wife, whether they will have a child, and whether the mystery of the woman in Cooper's visions will be solved.. We cheer for Cooper and his wife and are disturbed by Cooper's forrays back in time with Mary, Although we recognize what was good in the past, we scream for Cooper to get back into the 'now!' Like I said, thoroughly engaging. The author even takes the possibly boring world of office furniture supply and turns it into mesmerizing, high coprorate drama (Think Glengarry Glen Ross).The author deftly ratchets up the tension through the novel regarding whether Liana and Cooper will reunite and be happy in their relationship. As I mentioned in one of my comments, this makes me think of the tension created by one of my favorite non-fantasy writers, Galaxy Craze, in her novel, By The Shore.

I have a few big-picture suggestions. First, in the first several chapters, it gets kind of thick in discussing Cooper's business. It's a little too thick for me. My suggestion is to go back and trim any exposition that doesn't seem essential to the plotlines, particularly some of the office stuff which seems possibly less relevant. The last two-thirds of the book contain much less of this exposition and thus fly by as a much easier and enjoyable read. Second, use Roland more toward the end as a device to suggest what might have been happening to Cooper all along. Readers will want some sort of indication as to what happened, versus something totally open ended that also indicates internal inconsistencies (e.g., if Cooper's mind is fixed, why does he see Roland at the end? How does Roland spirit know what happened to Mary?. If it's mystical, is there any clue as to the source?). Maybe it's me but I spent the book hoping for 3 things and decidedly got 2 of 3 (Liana and Cooper together, with Cooper better and them having a child who represents the future and not looking back). Last, I would do less summary in the last couple of chapters and throw in some interaction regarding Liana's reaction to Cooper being hurt/comatose, Cooper's behaviors post-coma, and resolution with Mary. There are some punctuation and grammar mistakes here and there, but not many at all, and certainly won';t take much time to clean after revising. I know this is an 'old' novel, but it's a great read, a cool story, and well worth revising. I'm glad I read this book.

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Terrific Read: Brilliant, Beautiful Concept, Well-executed

Sometimes you read a story that has a concept that's so clever and elegant, that it makes the entire thing easy and fun to read. This is that book, which I burned through in half a day. Without giving away too much, not only is the concept of the country store--a sort of wish-granting, moral way-station caught between here and there--terrific, but the details around it are intriguing and engaging. I love the sense of how everything is connected!!! The first few stories stand on their own, and each tale is engaging and carry a weighty moral message. The mystery of the store, what it is, why, etc., is so intriguing also. And toward the fifth chapter, we get a hint of how the store came into being. I only have two issues with this book. The main issue is I wish it were finished so I could read the rest! The other issue is that while the prose is mainly well-executed and nicely descriptive, it does need some scrubbing (typos, wordos, perhaps filters, etc.). I believe this author to be a consummate storyteller, and I am certain the ending will be just as captivating as the beginning. I believe with some loving care and polishing, this is a book that could be published by a major house. Will take some work though, but it's worth it. Well done! Bravo!.

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A Riveting Christian/Supernatural Drama

There is a lot to like about LMDietrich's novel, In the Gap. What I found most refreshing was its focus on spiritual outcomes rather than solely earthly outcomes. Without giving too much away, the novel is consistent through to the end, staying true to form in the critical importance of accepting Christ as savior and God's love for us. I am a Christian, so I may view this material differently from how others view it. For me, this is a great, edifying message for Christians who are looking for material to provide conviction, or, for the non-Christian who can keep an open mind throughout, to see the world from a new perspective. I did like that the author provided aspects of Christian vs non-Christian debate (even in cases where I might differ some from the author's perspective). I wonder if there are ways to modify this material to make it, if possible, even more welcoming to non-Christians. As someone who also believes in the power of prayer, I recommend the author pray on this as they revise their text. ---- One of the things that's great about this novel is the dynamic tension created by the main character's (MC's) supernatural visions, which are brilliantly described and scary/creepy/gory in nature-this reminded me of classic horror films, such as those focused on the devil or Revelation and kept my interest piqued. Most important, the author has a terrific way of creating parallel metaphors between what's happening in characters' earthly lives and their spiritual lives. This is most evident at the ending, which I won't give away, where an earthly event paralleled a spiritual event of great consequence. The prose is mainly very good and engaging, though I would suggest a scrub for grammatical errors and also to cut some exposition (the novel seems longish for YA). I would recommend this novel to my Christian friends--whether politically left or right leaning--who would enjoy a read that toggles between Christian truth and some supernatural visions (I personally do not know anybody who has experienced such dramatic, fantastic visions in real life, so I call it supernatural here). The read is quick and engaging, and the characters are well drawn. The MC, a self-described 'geek' is sympathetic for the most part, and the people around him and their dialogue mainly seems fresh and real. In context, his need to pray seems logical, as he desperately wants to save those around him he cares about. I also liked the 'love triangle' aspect of the story, as the MC tries to decide who he loves and wants to commit to in life. I thought there was a good balance between this and the narrative between him and his middle brother and the spiritual forces at play (the blurb for this novel, I believe, references Ephesians, which stresses the unseen war being waged). All in all, this was a refreshingly different read from anything else I've encountered on Inkitt. Best of luck in shaping this story moving forward.

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A lot going for it

This story started off quite strong. The things I liked about it include the immediate tension surfaced regarding the protagonist being in danger. Also, the grammar was mostly good, only a couple minor issues here and there. I also thought the writing style was snappy with crisp and fluid dialogue; the author makes dialogue and description look easy!

There were a couple things that didn’t set well with me, such as why such an important life event would be casually conveyed by a brother and his friend versus the protagonist’s mother. Something to perhaps explain, though I know the mother was out of town.

I particularly enjoy the intersection of magic and the real world. As such, Chapters 1 & 2 really got me engaged. However, I found Chapter 3 like drinking from a fire hose—very overwhelming for me. There was a lot of stuff to learn in a short time. This could be me, but perhaps there are ways to mete out the explanations while mixing in more suspense and conflict in the early going once the protagonist gets to the magic school.

The writing and concept is so good that this could have a chance at publication. My concern is how this novel is going to differentiate itself from its main comparator (in my mind, and the minds of a few other readers, this concept draws instant comparisons to HP). I already have suspicions as to what might happen. However, I’m not sure I am hooked on this material yet. I do think a lot of people will like it though. And I do plan to dig into it some more to see if I can catch that hook that will set it far apart from other works and truly engage me.

Wishing the author the best with this novel.

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Lessons Learned!

This non-fiction account of the author's journey will definitely appeal to wrestlers of all sorts. However, it may also appeal to people endeavoring to do something big--whether that's in a sport or in another area of life.

There are some great lerssons here regarding commitment, sticking to a plan, and the importance of learning from failure.

There is a point in the book where everything seems stacked against the author. At this point, I found myself rooting most for his relationships with his wife and children. Because, even with his headlock commitment to goals, our relationships are the most important thing. I was glad to see he managed to balance both in the end. My only suggestion would be to focus a little more on that in the end. I found his description of his time with his father at nationals touching, and thought to myself that was his biggest win.

This is a great read, and I plan to share with my wrestling friends. Nicely done.

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Great ideas. Needs Revisions & Closure

The story here is a good one and kept me engaged throughout. It was worth the read. I felt the author did a great job with the college setting and setting up some of the conflict in the story. The initial threads of the love story between Blake and Winter was compelling. I wish I'd seen more of Winter's grandfather and scenes of what happened to her family and why.

That said, I was never quite sure why Winter had been 'chosen.' Was it something about her family? Another reason? Maybe I missed it (?) My suggestion is to expand on this or ensure it's answered in this book or in the next story.

Also, for such a good story, my recommendation is to let it sit for a while and then go back and check for grammar, spelling, punctuation, and style. There is a lot of cleaning and revising to be done in this book. So much that, for me, it distracted me from the story. This includes, among other things, misplaced modifiers and characters whose name spellings change (Marien vs. Marian).

The setting also left me with questions. The story starts with a baseball game. However, it seems to be winter (snow on the ground, ice). Is it the end of fall semester? Baseball is a spring sport (usually even intramural baseball would be in spring). At what time of year is this story happening?

Finally, most important for me, the cliffhanger ending felt too abrupt. It's fine to end with a cliffhanger that will lead to another novel (or perhaps this novel is unfinished?). If that's the case, a chapter focused on denoument would be helpful. Perhaps go back to what's happening with Winter and show what's on her mind as she struggles with deciding between Blake and Tanner.

I wish the author the best in revising.

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Makes Me Feel Sad For the Rest

There is NOTHING on Inkitt as good as Dominic Breiter's work. How anybody could read even part of this story and not want to give it 100 out of 5 stars is beyond me. It's not for the faint of heart. But if you can handle it, this book is a horror story for the ages.

First, the writing. It's grotesquely gorgeous. Every sentence is crafted together like threads in a beautiful tapestry. And it's not just fluffy words that make you say 'ooh.' It's beautiful, evocative prose that invigorates, emboldens, and encourages the reader to move through the text and the story. It's writing like you've not seen before, most likely. Stunning in its ability to draw a picture and move the narrative forward.

The characters and the story--so tremendously well done. I was wrapped up in their world and could not emerge. I lived what they were living. I felt what they were feeling. The story was gripping, tense in all the right places, tender in fleeting but lovely moments, making the culmination all the more uhhh--wait, I'm saying too much. Needless to say, I read this in two sittings, only because I had work to do. And in the last 100 pages, I could not put the book down. Perfect plotting.

You fools on Inkitt, how much longer will you be able to imbibe Breiter for free? If the world was a just place, you'd be paying to read Breiter's stuff already. I rank him up there with Wally Lamb, Stephen King, and other great writers of drama/horror.

(D., toss a couple of sentences in at the end to help guide understanding of that final scene at Mildred's and maybe a couple more to spook us in Book1 and you have a blockbuster here, a homewrecking book that I would love to see on bookshelves and with some sort of sticker on it denoting a book award.)

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A paranormal crime thriller Masterpiece

Litherland is back and better than ever. Except in this story he’s not only serving up his usual feast of crime thriller delicacies, he’s layered it into a ghost story so spooky, so rich in history, you would think he’s been writing ghost tales for centuries! So many things I loved about this novel, apart from the wonderful paranormal elements, tight plotting, and delightful prose. I LOVED the multiple viewpoints. Sure it’s “experimental,” but I’d say a supremely successful experiment. Each voice is distinctly drawn, the characters so real, and the plot so well constructed that it’s easy to know who is speaking and their viewpoint. It adds to the richness of the story. Also, besides beautifully descriptive prose, the setting, especially the sea and the weather, become living, breathing creatures in this story. You will feel as if you are right there in the storm or on the beach. Fantastic! And the ending. So enjoyably dramatic. Just wow! I ask how the heck am I reading this for free? Read this book and enjoy immensely. Bravo! Loved it!

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A must read!

This is a critically important story, and it's told quite well. The author's prose is generally crisp, descriptive, and easy to read. And the narrative is an essential one for women and men alike to read, reflect on, and absorb. The story does a great job of showing the internal and external struggles that come with an abusive relationship. The characters are drawn incredibly well and produce sympathy for the MC, Maddy, even when her actions are maddeningly frustrating for the reader, as well as disgust with the abuser. In particular, the last third of the book is brilliantly paced, with short crisp chapters that pull the reader along and a great sense of tension. My only suggestion is to shift the weight of the book from the front to the back (the middle third drags just a little) and describe certain scenes toward the end in real-time vs summary (e.g., the last chapter). This is a powerful story, told with brutal honesty. The devolution of a vacation/dreamy state to horror is masterfully done. Another idea, to take or leave, is to create an annotated copy with expert/survivor commentary on the interpersonal and emotional dynamics at play at certain points of the book. Might be helpful, just an opinion.

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A thoroughly enjoyable, dreamy mystery, worth reading!

So I'm a fan of this book on many levels. The author does a great job of creating a wonderfully evocative setting and characters who have depth and for whom we cheer. This is especially true of Marlene. She seems strong and determined, and indeed we never really see her inability to walk as a "disability." It's a part of her that impacts here, but it doesn't define her. I love that. The relationships, such as with her and Vera, and also later with Jude are intimately drawn (sweet for Vera and unsettling for Jude). I also love how the author strings out the narrative, not quite letting the reader in on what's going on in this futuristic, possibly dystopian setting. The plot reminds of Hunger Games a bit, with its lottery-like suspense, but it turns out to be quite unique, which is great. The mystery keeps the reader engaged and intrigued about what will happen next. In the middle of the mystery, the connections Marlene forms are at the forefront. Toward the end of this novel the writing, which was good to begin with, becomes brilliant. I fully expect by the time many people read this review, the author will have gone back and done the same to polish the beginning (which also contained some elegant, descriptive prose). The author has a way with setting description that makes you feel you're there. I mentioned I was not fond of the name Dreamy Reality for this, and I'm still not, but I must admit, the author has done a great job of creating a dreamy reality. Now, what's this oddly-drawn reality for? Because this is a partially complete novel, we will have to wait to find out. Look forward to reading more!

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Intriguing story and Strong characters pulled me in

I don't normally read a lot of high fantasy. However, this story instantly pulled me in by creating characters I cared about and about whom I wanted to know more. The setting and the narrative that followed were always interesting, deviously intricate, and loaded with subtext. I loved some of the playful interactions between certain characters. The pace of the plot was well done, with reveals at exactly the right time to keep the reader going. The author does a nice job of setting up characters who are parallel to each other (I'll stop there so no spoilers). The ability to create characters and narrative that engage, intrigue, and satisfy the reader is not to be underrated. It is perhaps the hardest skill to learn as a writer, and jdelacuso has a natural flair for this sort of thing. I felt like I was living inside his story. I loved the hints of potential romance and the journey aspect of the narrative--more of that, please! Even the characters' names have meaning in this story! As such, I was engaged throughout and enjoyed this read. I highly recommend this partial novel (I read to Chapter 11, as it's unfinished). It has a lot of promise. There are some areas where the prose is quite elegant, simple, and fun to read. With an edit for filters, adverbs, etc., this will be a strong work that should take its place among other enjoyable high fantasies. I also have no doubt the author will provide a brilliant ending, which I look forward to reading.,

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Tricky Halloween Fun!

What a great concept—a mysterious serial killer strikes denizens of a small town only on Halloween. Join Thomas, the main character, as he struggles to avenge his friend’s death, capture a killer, and avoid more deaths. There are a lot of great descriptive scenes, especially at a gloomy psychiatric facility. Only thing I’d like more of are backstory on the killer and more description of the town, Halloween style. A fun read any time of year.

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Great read! A brilliantly composed story!

One thing you can always count on from dmbproject is consummate storytelling. As usual, dmbproject combines a great concept with an instinctive ability to pull together puzzle pieces of narrative, create tension, and introduce multi-dimensional characters at the perfect time. The engaging read pulls you a,long, engages you with the likeable (and unlikeable) characters, and even sends up false flares at times to keep the tension high. I liked that different sections flipped from one time frame to another, and that connections were forged across timeframes. The last few chapters were perfect in their elicitation of suspense, action, and mystery. The cliffhanger begs for the next story, which I will definitely read! I urge the author to clean up some of the wordos and typos, and take a look at other filters to polish the writing of this great story. Well done!

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Another Must-Read, Superfantastic Page-Turner!

There is so much that is extraordinarily great about this novel, it’s hard to know where to start. But here’s the main thing: Litherland draws you into Phil Tyler’s world, and you’re hooked from page one through to the end. The narrative of this mystery/thriller/action story unfolds in such a way that it almost pushes the reader forward to the next scene. Each reveal leads to a shocking new mystery in a delightful way. The dialogue, as with the first Phil Tyler book, is crisp, gritty, and often hilarious. The characters, such as Liz, Winston, and Wendy, are well-developed, and their interactions so real and sometimes humorous. My wife asked me why I was laughing so much as I read this. The entire book was fun and intense, but the last several chapters were mind-blowing with a shocking twist and a deeply satisfying conclusion. Bravo to Barry for another stellar effort. I feel lucky, perhaps guilty, to read such great stuff for free! This work ranks up there with the best in its genre!

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A beautifully spun tale

The sign of a great author or storyteller is when they can write a book in a genre one doesn';t usually prefer, but make it so engaging and dynamic that you read it through and want more. That was my experience with Blood Rites. It obviously stopped at the end of 'Book1,' so cuts off abruptly. But it leaves me wanting to know how Dean fared and if Michael was brough under control. The author's writing style and use of description flows easily and is a pleasure, making for an easy read. There are a few grammar errors here and there, which can be corrected duering a scrub or copy editing. I strongly suggest the author finishes this novel and looks to publish somewhere. Very well done. I look forward to reading more about these angel adventures.

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Superfantastic potential!

So, I don't normally write reviews for material with only four chapters. However, I found this partial novel so engrossing, and so well done, it deserves a review. As with reviews of all partial material, I have reduced my plot rating (because how you measure out the plot and end your story counts for something and is unknown).

I feel like this is a novel with huge potential. The two stories, Hazel in the past and Mandy in the present, both are quite touching. In particular, as I read Hazel's story, I am completely drawn in by the deft decsriptive prose and the emotionally charged scenes. I care so much for young Hazel and want to know what happens to her at this dreadful school. The scenes at the school felt like I was reading a masterfully constructed novel from an accomplished author.

I feel like in the first few chapters, we haven't seen as much of Mandy's story. I'd like to see more of the actual tension between her and her husband, though I'm sure this is (sadly) to come. Again, her daily life is woven together so well, I really felt sorry for her, especially when we realize her husband is up to no good.

What is missing here, of course, is the intertwining of Mandy and Hazel's stories, and how Mandy can learn something from her friend. What I'm hoping for here is the caretaker becomes taken care of by the wisdom that is inherent in Hazel's story. I'd like to see her tell it to Mandy....or something...I guess it's up to the author. This is less of a review per se than my own personal wish list for how this continues.

There are some typos throughout, especially in Chapter 4. Suggest scrubbing this after writing the rest. Also, suggest putting settings on chapters so people like myself (i.e., American or British) know this is in Ontario.

Again, this partial work is well-written, engaging, heartbreaking, and well worth the read. It reminds me of Mitch Albom or Nicholas Sparks--an emotionally charged rollercoaster of a read that is bittersweet.

Also, it bears noting that the author seemed to have some trepidation about putting her work out there for all to see. This is the second time I've reviewed fantastic material that somebody was afraid to show. Related to this, I have two strong recommendations: 1)Have no fear- your work is well above average. Know the worth of your work. 2)Finish this book. It's a great story and deserves to be finished. And I would like to see the middle and the end of this touching story. Map out the plot, further connect and intertwine these characters, help Mandy grow, etc. Bring this to the light of day! Best of luck --r

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So great it's criminal!

If you told me Barry Liferland was publishing more crime/thriller books, I would pay for each and every one of them. That's how good this mystery/crime drama is. It's all FANTASTIC! --the character development, the crisp and descriptive writing, the way he weaves elements from characters' pasts with what's happening in the present, the pace of the story, the way the mystery unravels and reveals, the incisive laugh-out-loud humor--ALL of it. I loved this book! There is a smart/lucky agent out there who will snap up this author soon.

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A highly engaging drama/mystery with great potential!

As with another review I recently wrote, I'm giving this partial work an overall '5' based on what I've seen so far. It's engaging, has a likable main character, sets up the conflict beautifully (while not the same genre as Harry Potter, I love the use of the letter in the mail to set up the conflict and set the protagonist at odds with her grandparents). The dialogue and interactions between characters are believable. I simply enjoyed reading this book and seeing what happened next and the way characters were introduced. I might have given the plot a higher rating, but I don't know how this will end. Given this is a drama/mystery, part of the rating of the plot should be in how well the author plays out the mystery and keeps the tension going while keeping us guessing. I'm thinking this author can do that pretty well, based on what I've seen. I saw in the author's bio they are a teenager. While this probably helps in writing about a teenager, I'm still amazed when I see somebody so young writing so well and doing some of the things we all should do as writers so well (setting, characters, conflict, etc.). Best of luck in finishing this novel.

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So much potential

I'm giving this story a '5' overall because I believe it has tremendous potential. The potential stems from several things: 1)terrific concept, 2)tight storyline, 3)great setting, and 4)fresh and convincing dialogue and characterization for a YA fantasy book.

I love the idea of a group of friends finding out they were destined to travel to a small town to become something more than what they are. The concept of their becoming fire breathers is smart--I'd check to see if somebody else has done this though.

The interweaving of the teen drama with the fantasy was superbly done. I was totally convinced by the situations and felt like there was a great balance and pacing. The cruise ship setting was a fun way to have things come together.

While the book is relatively short, it's probably ok for a YA novel and leads to more books in the series.

However, my strong advice is not to start on another book. Maybe outline some additional stories, but wait a couple of months and then go back to this novel. As if the author is a reader, go back and scrub and revise every page for grammar, style, and punctuation. There were so many run on sentences, other grammatical errors, mistakes in tense, type-os, word-os, etc., that it was distracting and sometimes made it difficult to understand. This book could be so incredibly good. With a good query letter, an agent might give it a shot. However, agents will never look at it seriously in its current unedited form. It needs a lot of hard work to make it technically sharp; it will take a lot of time. I sometimes do 3-5 pages at a time because editing so laborious.. (I've found a copy of Strunk & White can help with this process) Maybe have somebody edit it after this too.

Some other notes: Did everybody find their amulet? I didn't think so. Did I miss this?........ Also, can we get a little more ? Would it be cool to have an extra chapter showing them having fun being dragons---like teen dragons? I felt like the dragon side of things was missing........... Also, I found myself still wondering, what is the overall purpose of them being fire breathers? If it's a destiny, why? What do they accomplish? What is it in each person's history that makes this their destiny?.......... Also it seemed like they learned to cast a bunch of spells, including splitting souls, pretty quickly--maybe flesh this out so we see them (Alma) learning.

Again, Ari, great story here and best wishes making it live up to its potential,

r

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An enjoyable read & action-packed ride!

I enjoyed reading this book. There are some interesting characters, exciting action sequences, and a strong connection to mysticism. I loved the combination of an almost comic-book like group of characters and some of the more mystical aspects of their powers (e.g., Zara snipping memories, which made me think of Neil Gaiman's, The Ocean at the End of the Lane. Also, I liked when Sephina causes Brayden to lose track of time after her revelation to him).

It took the book a couple chapters to fully engage me. My favorite part was when the story began to focus on Tom and those at the boathouse. I believe this was Chapter 3. I found myself wishing more had been explained about Tom and the others there. While it was explained that Tom found the twins when he was in Nazi Germany, I never fully grasped why all of these mystical people/creatures were assembled in his care. Was it luck or some connection that I missed in reading? Maybe more backstory on why they're all there would be appropriate--or maybe I missed this. For instance, there were a lot of characters discussed in a short time within the book; so, for example, I initially was unclear as to who Meda was and why she was with them.

This leads me to a major suggestion to make the read even more engaging. In the beginning of the novel, there is a lot of telling versus showing with regard to backstory. Perhaps to engage the reader even more with the characters and create a chronological sense of important events, backstories could be told as flashbacks, immersing the reader in these timeframes. Perhaps this would help tie the characters' arcs together better. Chapter 5, for example, might benefit from this (Damian and Stephanie's story), as could some other chapters.

Also, some chapters of the novel were written in a way that was much easier to read than in other chapters. In some places the grammar was better and there were fewer typos and wordos. My advice to the author is to go back to the original text after taking some time away from it and read it as if you were a novice reader. This will help you think about and make revisions. In particular, in action scenes there were some run-on sentences. These could be cleaned up with a well-placed comma or by splitting them into two sentences. It would make the novel even easier to read and more enjoyable. It might make it easier to understand what it is Zac and Zara do together (pulling and casting memories, which took me a couple reads to understand). Other readers have commented on grammar and punctuation throughout so I won't go into details.

Also, maybe I missed it, but other than Tom, I didn't get a sense of many of the characters' ages (e.g., Brayden?).

Also, and maybe this is me, I didn't realize the significance of the prophecy or the Gift until late in the book. I wish this had been made more clear as a guiding theme throughout much of the book. I also didn't get the hints that Brayden was special--again maybe just me, or maybe this could be emphasized. Adjustments in these areas could do a lot to help the reader understand the potential end game of the plot--where everything is headed. I didn't get a sense of where everything was heading until about 3/4's into the book. Again, maybe this is just me.

I like the love story and appreciate the ending. I wished we could have seen more interaction/ love story stuff in between. Something to show an even greater connection between the two main characters. And something to keep us connected throughout the book to Sephina and empathetic to her.

I'm interested in where this is heading next. I'd be happy to read this again if revisions are made. I'd also be interested in reading a sequel. I agree with another reviewer that, with some, work, this book would make an interesting movie. I wish the author the best of luck.

Please let me know if you have any questions.

r

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The Trouble with Kissing Connor

The plot and pacing of this novel was brilliant. I found myself engrossed with the story and enjoying the back and forth in viewpoints. The author’s snappy style is engaging.

That said, there is so much good about this YA story, why not pay closer attention to grammar and spelling?

Take some time to clean this up, and a smart agent is sure to pick it up, and it could get published by a major firm.

Best of luck!

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Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.