rainaround

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Really Good!

At first, just reading your blurb, I was a little skeptical, but after actually reading the first two chapters, I'm hooked. The way you described the emotion in this was amazing and it actually felt genuine much of the time. When I first noticed you were writing in first person I was a bit concerned (first person isn't really my thing), but after reading the beginning I realized it was one of the best decisions you could have made. The use of first person made everything your character was thinking and feeling seem even more realistic and it effectively put me in their shoes.

The only thing I have concern with so far is characterization of side characters and a few tiny issues with the plot.

So far, Bell seems like a stranger. Here are three things I know about Bell and her connection to Priya: they are very good friends, there is a strong unexplored romantic connection between the two of them thus far, and in a twist at the end of chapter two, I know they're both witches. After two chapters I don't really know much about Bell.

The only qualms I have with plot so far is that a lot isn't very clear to the reader. They don't really have any clue as to what's happening and in the first two chapters it isn't elaborated on. Although, I'm sure I'll definitely gain a better understanding as I continue to read this.

(Btw, as a lesbian who can never find any good wlw stories I will FOR SURE continue to read this!)

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