I love where this story is going (or where I think it is going as I've only gotten to the 14th chapter.) This story has a unique perspective, which I really like. It is very descriptive and paints a great picture for the reader. What is distracting is the run on sentences and word usage that might not be correct for the sentence structure. I would recommend going through the story paragraph per paragraph and really checking out punctuation placement and if the sentence is complete before moving on to the next sentence. Also the other thing I noticed in the beginning when the father and mother are there and Camille is getting beat up that I wasn't sure who was who as the mother's name was very similar. It might not be that way for everyone but I found it to be confusing and if her name was much different I think it would flow better for the reader.
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I look forward to reading more and seeing where this story ends up. I love the characters and since I've just gotten to where the God is introduced, I'm curious to see what kind of God he is. I think this story overall is a great one and with some minor fixes in the grammar, it will read much smoother.