A story full of promise
Slave of Fire: The Weeping End is a story ful of potential and reflects the imagination of its author. An important characteristic for any fantasy genre book.
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The characters themselves are well developed as far personality and differation. However, the story lacks character drive. Keeping in mind the story is in third person and considering that the air of mystery surrounding Gabriel, Pryor, and the others is intentional. Which I personally loved and is actually one of the main reasons I kept reading so eagerly. This is unless your remember the information gave in the blurb.
The main characters, Cai and Jai appear to lack an objective or end game both collective and separate. Jai focuses on her relationship or having a relationship with Gabriel while events happen to Cai, but she doesn't pursue them. Rather she takes the effects. They both seem to be curious about Pryor and the others origins, Jae more than Cai, but it's not a motive behind their overall actions. This results in the story being more told rather than taking place in front of the reader and connecting the characters actions to what happens next. This also makes Jai more of a supporting character unless she is ment to be.
The plot as a result appears not to have an objective or at least it is difficult to see where the story is going and what the characters (Cai and Jai) are after if they themselves are ment to be after anything. This makes it unclear whether the mystery of who or what Gabriel and the others are, if you take away blurb, the girls adjusting to their new home, or locating legion 13 is the focus of the plot. This question isn't really answered until Cai's confrontations with Freyr and the part outside his room.
This is the other reason I really had to force myself to put down the book. Because I wanted to know where the plot was going. This isn't bad, as long as their are nudges or hints in the characters' actions or interactions. Especially with the book being in third person and access to majority of the characters' thoughts. Considering the end I would say it's between the girls adjusting and locating legion 13. If this the case it wouldn't hurt to show the latter in interactions between Pryor and Gabriel or any of the others. Even with Cai's dreams.
Again overall the book is a great read that I would definitely recommend. Taking away the blurb I love the mystery surrounding Pryor and the others, but the plot needs a little more guidance considering the ending can leave you with questions rather than answers.
Also be sure to be clear on which character is doing what or you are referring to. For instance f you use the name of one character at the beginning of a sentence and sentence that follows is referring to another character's reaction use that character's name rather than a pronoun. That is help the reader follow a lot better.