I really enjoy this
If I'm honest I am only a few chapters in, I will be adding this to my reading list to continue later, but I believe I have enough for a review. I disagree with some of your other reviews: THIS PLOT IS NOT DONE TO DEATH! At least not in my opinion. Your words are beautifully crafted and easy to visualize. One area that I do happen to agree with is that you tend to tell more than show. For instance "she made her way into the kitchen to make a nice cup of tea. Her mother whom she called Ama was at work." This is telling the reader what is happening. An easy rememdy could be to write as such: Ash blearlily walked into the kitchen, her mind buzzed non-stop, a consequence of embarrassment, as she made herself a cup of calming tea. I am not the writer of this story nor am I trying to impose my own style onto yours, I am just trying to explain my critique of show don't tell (it is a golden rule). As for the latter section " Her mother whom she called Ama was at work" don't feel the need to name all of your charcters the second they appear on the page, allow them to come naturally. Maybe a note from her mom is found on the table "Will be home late from work, love Ama." Overall I have enjoyed what I have read. You have a great base story but you would do well to expand and refine areas. I will be checking back frequently to see your progress, amazing potentional!
Read the story now