Hi Q D
Read the story now
Unfortunately, this story did not get off the ground for me. In the prologue errors sprang off the pages. Numerical narrative should always be used under 100; i.e. fifteen-years,twenty-two and twenty-five. The exceptions are weights; 10 kg etc. I also wonder about how someone such a protagonist as Akio can be a 'gentle killer'; did he slay his victims in their sleep with a hypodermic? Then there is that number again that has been imprinted in Japanese folklore; seven...why use it? The Seven Samurai is symbolic and continued in Western cinema as The Magnificent Seven. I realise the importance of prologue to draw a reader to the next chapters, I personally find it difficult to find the correct format. But with time one will succeed to get the result needed; I am sure that you will do it because the format of a good tale is there, you just have to read and edit and believe me, it is not an overnight conclusion. Get the head down because you have something here.