David Estrada

Anaheim

guilty

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Grammar Punctuation

Pan Galactic Gargle-blaster

the first sentence is reminiscent of the description of the drink in hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy....love it
keep going

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Overall Rating
Plot
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helping a sister out

the formatting needs to be fixed. In word when you edit turn on the formatting symbols...the enter symbol delete the 'enters' unless you start a new paragraph. Spoken word in Quotes needs to be a new paragraph...at least this is what i learn. I tell you this only because i have the same problem. I read the first chapter and the story is good.

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