SeriousMoonlight

The Moon

My name is Lis and I write for fun mainly. Please let me know if you enjoyed my works. I appreciate feedback and criticism, if helpful, not nasty.

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Good start, has potential

There is an interesting plot hidden within this read. Grammar is okay, though I myself am no expert. I think there can be some improvements there, mainly with the tense. It seemed to change at times.

Example -

She wanted me to icing it and noticed the little boy munching on the croissant. Shaking her head down she set the cake down on a counter behind me and I got to work.

I would try something like this.

She sat the cake down on the counter behind me, where it would wait for me to place the icing on it. She glanced over her shoulder at me, then her gaze caught the boy munching on the pastry. Looks like I’ve been caught again, I thought to myself as she shook her head disapprovingly at me.

Overall there isn’t too much to go on for plot at this time, as this is the first chapter. I do think there is a lot of potential here because the author has clearly put a lot of effort into the piece. The author is also great at descriptions and giving backstory. I am interested in reading the next chapter to see what happened to the protagonist.

Keep it up, I think as you write you will improve. You can always edit later once you get a chunk of your story written.

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Real Drama

I only got to review three chapters of this book, but found it quite captivating. While reading, I found myself feeling bad for the protagonist, Charlotte. At such a young age she should be enjoying her life and dreaming of her future, instead she’s busy worrying about her father and missing her mother.

I wish there were more chapters to read so I could see what happens to Charlotte ‘s friends and father.

Overall, I thought this was a good read, with potential. I will try and update my review once more chapters are posted.

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Great Read

Although the story isn’t finished I throughly enjoyed what I read. The story starts out with a mystery that keeps you reading with each chapter. The main protagonist, Bethany, isn’t the normal cliched lead. I loved how before they were revealed as gods and goddesses the author gave hints of their past. Also the plot is easy to follow and pretty original.

Grammar wise there were no mistakes and the author was good at moving the scenes effortlessly.

Overall, an entertaining read and I would definitely recommend it to others. 🍷

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Original Plot and Clever Ability

I’ll update my review once the story is completed, but the author obviously has a gift for writing. If you’re looking for more originality this is a good read. I loved the descriptions and the protagonists power, which was cleverly explained. I’m not hard core into grammar, but everything flowed and felt polished.

I can’t wait to read more.

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Leaves You Wanting More

Very intriguing read. The summary is what pulled me in most as I wanted to read about the protagonist tricking the purple eyed people with her contacts. The first chapter left me wanting more, so my only complaint is I wish there were more chapters posted.

Overall a good read with no noticeable mistakes in spelling and punctuation.

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Captivating

I think this opening is very captivating. It makes me wonder what their past is and why he HAD to kill her even though they were clearly in love. I would definitely read on to find out what had happened between them.

I wish there were more chapters to review, but from what I read the author is talented at setting a scene and sparking interest to read further. I'm no grammar expert, but I noticed no mistakes in punctuation and spelling. Everything was clear and well-written.

Overall this was a promising start to an interesting story.

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Binge Worthy

I read this story on Wattpad, from where I originally post my work. I’ve watched this author grow into her craft, including this story. I love this story.

The author does an excellent job showing emotions and setting up scenes, that doesn’t feel forced. And the MC isn’t the normal, all too perfect, protagonist. She is flawed which makes her relatable at times. The plot is great, but as I’ve said before the author really shines with her descriptions and emotions. Which to me, is more important.

The story isn’t done, but the author keeps you wanting more with each chapter posted. I look forward to watching Lydia’s powers grow, as well as, fangirl over her relationship with the king. ❤️

I will add to my review once the story is completed.

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Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Gripping Teaser

Great start. I like the tone and subject of the story. Very intriguing. The revolution reminds me of an old cartoon I watched called Exosquad. The only thing I would change calling this a Prologue instead of a chapter as it sets the story for the reader. There are some minor grammar mistakes, but not too noticeable.

Keep it up, looking forward to reading more.

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