Chapter 10: ATHEIST
“Who art ye? And why should we let ye pass?” The Immaculate Beast asked me, and I tilted my chin back. If he didn’t acknowledge me by name, surely I wasn’t going to recognize his. So I erased it from my memory, made myself forget it.
I scowled. “How dare ye insult me! Beast? What do ye mean, who am I? Surely my name has reached thy ears. And, one other thing…Explain something to me. We? Ye said, ‘And why should we let ye pass?’ There is only one of ye!”
Thunderously, taking my breath away in shock, another monstrous head rippled from the right side of its face, and the third, identical face rippled from the left side; three thick necks curved just under their chins, and formed into the body extending from the ocean.
“As I said, why should we let ye pass to even get a closer glimpse of the Entrance to the Wolf Tribe? This is a restricted area. What is the secret code? Ye have five seconds to tell us, or ye will die!”
I smiled, and whispered to my unborn children. For some reason the thought of family and never having a real one did a number on me. My mother, my unborn children’s grandmother, died when I took my thirty-third breath after I was born into the world, and born in the Village of Opus, and born to the dismay of my father, and born of a witch doctor’s wrinkled, bejeweled hands (rotten, tarnished jewelry).
Coming into the knowledge of Christ, I could clearly, as intelligent as I was, I would like to think, see both angles vividly, from when I was a non-believer, and beliefs I have now as a believer.
I wasn’t an atheist.
I didn’t believe in anything, not even myself. And through the pact with the animals I learned compassion.
In contrast and comparison to my non-believing days, I felt good about the journey I was about to embark on, being enlightened in the process.
There was nothing from the past I carried over into my half human days, and that felt rather good I must say. But with sudden feelings of betrayal energizing me, reminding me of Zulu and Chanteuse’s disloyalty, maybe there was something I never got closure on.
And I needed closure.
And probably will never get it.
Ye never got what ye wanted. I was angry all over again at the deceit and lies, and angry about having my own. They played me for a complete fool, and fiddled with my naivety. Even though I was a much bigger whore than Chanteuse, discretion was strict and confidential. I kept my affairs private and hid behind a façade of humility.
My humbleness and class, and my confident strut served as seducers of the men of the Village of Opus. I had them all before Chanteuse thought of it. When she was going to bed thinking about it I was having orgasms, trying to force myself to forget the memory of my mother, because it hurt too much to think of her.
The Beast gave me a time frame to answer, but my mind raced so fast that I thought all of this in a span of thirty seconds. I used to have orgasms after the Grand Bath. Twice daily most times, other days my body needed its rest after the Grand Bath. Tons of breasts all around me, and roundabout, I bathed with the villagers, being monitored by the elders. We had to stand fifteen feet apart from each other. Every villager must partake in the Grand Bath. If ye were late or didn’t show up the price was death by 2,000 scorpion stings to the body, while chained to a wooden plank before every villager, and their families.
The Elders, the active government within the concentration camp, served as Council as well. The Elders were appointed by the powers that be, united in power through verbal agreement, though very limited, and kept at bay, by the empire that oversaw Chad, Africa.
Back in the Era of 3 B.C., I used to have sex to validate myself. Even if I did, at the time, believed in Aten, the Sun god, I was still filled with sins and flaws. I knew he, Aten, was there because sun rays trickled on my skin, and I didn’t burst into flames.
With shock, I was jolted. I refused to breathe, or move. I just realized a startling revelation, or reminder, that I was half human, half vampire. And not the 100% sadistic queen of torture I’ve been up until this point.
My Ghost snapped me out of a zombie state by informing me, and reminding me, that I was Kleopha Achieng…
I guessed I’ve always known who I really was. I simply suppressed it. The pain of the past was so enormous I forced myself to forget.
I didn’t care to remember.
I created the name “Alicia Chay” because when I was first transformed I didn’t want to be a vampire. No one asked me, or gave me a warning. I didn’t want to murder anyone, even though I am blood thirty.
But when ye receive something what ye never asked for, despite the darkness of thy heart, ye were still bound its rules. Against my will I became what I was.
I refused to accept that I was a vagabond.
It was my free will to believe in Aten, it was my free will to reject everything Aten was about, it was my free will to feed on blood, and protect the animals of the land and the fowls of the air.
I was giving myself worship, indirectly allowing them to worship me, and give me thanks for sticking my neck out for them, and giving myself my own purpose in life.
I was convinced that no one took care of Kleopha but Kleopha herself. And then after being a powerful force for over 4,000 years, I stopped snubbing what I heard about the Son of Man, and became curious about who he was, and his ministry and his life. I had nothing to lose by being curious.
Once I, with Doneshius, found out I had a mustard seed of faith deeply embedded in me I was open to understanding what that truly meant, to have a mustard seed of faith.
I started having dreams that turned into nightmares after wanting to understand Christ. Initially I thought it was the darkness trying to scare me back on a path of blood and murder. But it was deeper than that, and I see that now…
I didn’t understand my dreams and nightmares, but I do now… After being enlightened by Doneshius things haven’t been the same for either of us.
I wondered did he know I truly have become over half human.
It’s like my right foot is in Florida, and the other foot was in Georgia, just over the state line. But my dreams didn’t start after I encountered the rainbow, they started happening a long time before that, even before I knew his name was Doneshius I remembered visions of his face.
And they weren’t dreams or nightmares at all, like I thought they were.
They were my reality from three angles, through the eyes of Kleopha’s Ghost, through the eyes of Kleopha’s Soul, and through the eyes of the Original Queen mother Armona’s body I selfishly (and now selflessly) occupy. It angered me to know that those events were really happening, yet his euphoric state of deceit kept me brainwashed.
If I was real with myself I’d know they truly started from my thoughts. And I attracted like individuals because of it. The way I lived my life certainly has something to do with it. The way I ruled the supernatural realm with only the needs of animals, and my very own being first and second priority. I thought nothing of God, or Christ.
I thought of myself and putting myself above all things, above all else. If ye lived only for yourself, were ye in existence only or truly living a fulfilling life?
I was miserable and convinced myself I was happy because I thought money, power and wealth made me truly happy.
I was anything but. To have true love of self, and of others, ye must love yourself through Christ.
He was the only way to Heaven, and I did mean the only way.
I understand that now. But the presence of the vampire in me contradicts everything, and all things, and stalled it all. As long as I allow it that’s exactly what’s going to happen, and keep happening.
No one was going to change ye for ye, ye were powerful enough to change yourself, and be willing to do what it takes to achieve thy goals.
I have the power and the free will to say, “Enough!” to the wicked systems of deceit, giving selfishness and distorted thinking the boot.
As long as its apart of thy wardrobe thy path will have prints of selfishness, and destruction. Wickedness, at one point in my life—even before I became a vampire, when I was using my body to erase Chanteuse’s memory from the Village of Opus—filled me, and fulfilled me.
But I refused to pledge allegiance to the devil, because I didn’t believe in him at all during that, and believed only in Aten.
Once my fangs made their debut I ditched Aten and the devil, and any thoughts of it, or if they survived or not, or if they were real or not, or if they were playing chess with our lives, me being the carefully monitored experiment.
How long was I going to be a lab rat of the darkness?
I guess that’s the question that led me to this point, a point of coming into the life of Christ, after thoughts turned to curiosity despite those I drained of blood, and after curiosity turned into knowledge despite traveling the world, tasting different kinds of blood, and reading the bible as a vampire and being drawn in despite those I murdered, the bible becoming the best book I have ever read in my life.
If Doneshius went through incredible lengths to trick me, surely goodness existed all around me and a higher power as well. Even evil doers have a ruler, but not an actual king. Once ye breakthrough hallucinations and mental incarceration, the sky is the limit.
Now I understand everything, though I was emotionally drained, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Ye art to put nothing and no one, not even yourself, above God or his only begotten son, Christ.
Ye cannot do it alone, or make it alone, and Christ was looking out for us. How could I have been so blind before?
Why was I growing angry about it?
Everyone eventually needs someone, whether they show up was a different matter. I guess no one factored in the number of burned bridges between families averaging out the neddeth for the emotional attachments to people, feeling like ye must have them in thy life.
Seasons came and went. A real friend came and went with ye, through it all, despite it all, and in spite of anything outside of it that doesn’t even figure into the equation.
Could I truly accept those principles and apply them to my life, despite wanting to kill and hunt down mortals for blood.
Yes, I could.
I believed it with everything in me.
There was nothing to it but to do it.
There was no such thing as I Can’t. It was all in the mind. To give anyone but Christ power over ye condemns ye to the eternal soul of the opposite of ice, and I wasn’t talking about the waters of baptism.
How could ye believe in Christ if ye haven’t been reborn? Gasp! Did that mean I had to be baptized?
Did I have to confess with fear and trembling that I believe Christ died for my sins, and that I was a sinner, and be required to follow the rules of the law of Christ, voiding the law of the land, owned by the serpent?
Knowing it would bring catastrophe and hell on earth for me as an evangelist?
Yes, that’s exactly what I must do, and what must take place. But where did I get baptized? And when did I do it?
After I give birth to my children?
Or beforehand, while Kleopha’s Soul has merged with the Queen Mother Armona’s body?
Or did I give birth while being baptized?
Wouldn’t that be different, and truly a sight to see, and something to remember. Did I get baptized in an open river or in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean by an honorable, genuine Pastor?
And not that of a hypocrite or of a pastor with more stains of erupted lust on his robe than sweat and Holy Water.
I was looking forward to being reborn, to see how it feels to come from the watery flesh of mother earth.
I guessed the middle of a river it was! I knew in my heart being baptized will make me 100 percent human, and the more I thought about it, the more I wanted to let go all of the darkness, and be a more giving, humble woman.
One I have never been quite before.
I wanted to love my neighbors as I want them to love me, and I will abandon all of my wealth, donate it all to charitable causes, like for centers for abused women and children, speaking at conventions and schools about the importance of family, and depending on yourself to achieve thy goals, keeping Christ first.
Maybe I should take it all seriously and really focus on being genuine and real.
I had thirty nine billion dollars, so teaching the world about Christ was not motivated by money.
Cash didn’t rule everything around me, and there was more to life than money.