Everyone can see how furious I was when Cara left the class with Austin but no one mentioned it because they knew better. If they did mention, it will end with them having a broken neck.
“Par,” Amie calls, being extra careful with her words.
“What?” I snap. But before I know what happened, Scott was by her side. When Amie sees him standing next to her, colour fills her cheeks. The corner of my mouth curve upwards as I see her shuffling awkwardly around him.
“I’ll talk to her if you’d like me to, Par.” He suggests with a frown.
Did I mention that Cara actually has a boyfriend but apparently she doesn’t give a flying fuck about him? Instead, she’s out there whoring around with Austin.
I could see that he was sad that he saw his own girlfriend went out with someone else instead of him. I feel sorry for him but it’s not my fault that she is so packed with wonderfulness that every boy wants her.
Times like this makes me wonder why he wouldn’t date Amie instead. Even though she’s not as smart or as pretty as Cara, but I’m sure she loves Scott more than Cara loves him.
“It’s alright.” I wave my hand in dismissal. “But…” I trail off.
You could help me snap her damn neck but I know that you couldn’t do that because even though you are filled with jealousy, you really love her. But I guess you can snap Austin’s neck if you want to. But then again, I love Austin and even though he can be bipolar sometimes and can be a total jerk face, I’m sure there’s a seed of good-nature in him. So…
“… Never mind.” I dismiss my thoughts and sit on my chair.
Zach sits next to me and gives me a piece of rough paper - obviously taken from my file of rough papers - and a pencil. I give him an appreciative smile. He knows just what to do when I am sad or just cursing out someone (you know who I’m talking about) mentally.
“Thanks.” I express my gratitude to him. I pick the pencil up and start sketching what ever shits that pops into my mind. No one is disturbing me as I sketch and honestly, I am grateful for that.
You are nothing to me. Austin’s words keep floating in my head. No matter how much I try to push the thoughts away, they keep coming back. I grip the pencil harder due to the anger bubbling inside me.
He can go and rot in hell for all I care. But that’s the problem; I do care.
I start to draw out flames to project my anger to something else. I also start to practise calligraphy by writing out the two words in the note that keep swirling in my mind.
Not long after, Zach starts sketching beside me. I turn to look at him for awhile but I ended up staring at him. His eyes are staring at the paper like it was the most precious thing on Earth while his hand continues to do their magic.
He isn’t the handsomest boy but he isn’t the worst one either. His jet black hair is lying on top of his head messily and every time it covers his eyes, he would brush them to the side. It is a habit that he had which is incredibly cute.
Zach stops drawing and smiles, his dimples showing. “Done.” He announces. Then, he turns to me and I quickly snap back to my own drawing, preventing him from noticing that I was just staring at him.
Even though he looks cute with those dimples and that smile, I knew that he will always be a friend to me and of course, vice versa.
“Ehem.” He clears his throat.
“Yeah?” I turn my head and gasp when I saw his drawing. The girl in the drawing had beautiful straight hair and her eyes were staring at a flower that she was holding. A smile was plastered on her face and even though she didn’t show her teeth, it was clear that she was happy with the rose in her hand.
The drawing was simple but somehow very detailed at the same time. The eyes, the nose, the lips- Everything just looks so realistic. Even though it is just a sketch, it looks like a million dollar painting to me.
It is a very beautiful sketch of me and right now, I just want to snatch the drawing from his hands, frame it and put it on my wall. I collect many of Zach’s sketches and he does the same with mine. We always exchange sketches and drawings.
But somehow, this sketch is different. It is somehow filled with feelings and hidden messages but one thing is for sure that I know that he is trying to tell me to cheer up and that I should smile through his drawing.
People aren’t wrong when they say that a picture paints a thousand words.
“This is amazing, Zach.” I take the drawing from his hands and examine it further. “I hope you are feeling a tad better.” I look up from the drawing and give him a smile. “I feel waaay better than a tad. In fact, you just made my day. No wait, my year.” I state and put the drawing down.
“I can keep it, right?” I ask. Occasionally, he wants to keep his own drawing but this time, I want to keep this one. I cross my fingers behind my back and hope for the best that he’ll let me keep it.
He throws his head back and laughs. Is this suppose to be a good sign or a bad sign? I question myself in my head.
Then, he wipes his fake tears away. “No.” He says simply and smiles innocently. He knows that I want the picture very bad.
“C’mon, Zach. Pleaseee.” I beg and pouts. He tries his best not to give in and I admit that he is doing a good job but not for long.
I pout even more and give him my best puppy eyes. Then, I lay my head on his shoulder. “Pwease.” I shake his arm and he chuckles. “Nope. Your puppy eyes aren’t going to work on me this time, Par.” He affirms.
I was too tired to argue with him anyway so I just lay my head on his shoulder and take a rest.
It has been an eventful morning and honestly, I don’t wanna fight with my closest friend over some sketch even though I should have it because it’s me in that picture and I should get a little credit for being his model for the day.
“Nothing more to say, aye Par?” He grins. I yawn and shake my head. “I’m too tired. Thank God for free period, huh?” I grin back. He nods and lays his head on mine.
Before I knew it, free period is over and Miss Cox comes in.
Fucking hell, not this bitch again.
“Students, please take out your workbook and do pages 37 to 50. Now.” She emphasises the last word. I did some mental calculations and suck in a harsh breath. “That’s like 13 pages.” I whisper to Alyssa.
She shrug. “I’ve only been here for three months yet I know how this motherfucker can be.” She utters and opens her workbook.
I was about to start doing my work when there is a knock on the door which made me focus on the door instead.
A small part of me was hoping for it to be Austin but of course there’s also a part of me which hoped for something - or someone - else.
“Miss Cox, sorry to interrupt but I was hoping that you would let me see Paradice for awhile.” Kevin says. I raise an eyebrow, questioning why the hell would this partly stranger would want to see me.
I stand up and walk out of the classroom. I roll my eyes when I saw who is standing beside him.
“Thanks, Kevin. If you don’t mind, go back to class because I want to talk to Par privately.” He instructs and expects Kevin to move but he doesn’t. “But I want to know what you two are going to talk about.” He whines.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” I snap and go into class but before I could even reach for the doorknob, Austin pulls me back. “Please, Par. Don’t make this any harder.” He pleads.
I was about to give him a piece of my mind when he turns to Kevin. “Can you stop being nosy and just go back to class?” He asks irritably. Kevin looks between us before huffing and goes back into his class.
I cross my arms in front of my chest. “What the hell do you want now?” I enquire, annoyed that this cycle with my shit of a crush keeps repeating.
He sighs and then run his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry, alright?” I raise an eyebrow and laugh, amused how this scene has happened this morning. “Deja vu, much? I wonder where I’ve hear those words before.” I put my index finger on my bottom lip and pretend to think.
“I know I shouldn’t say those things to you and-” I cut him off with a raise of my hand. “So you do know what you’ve said to me. You know how much it hurts me now, don’t you?” I hiss, giving out a laugh at the end.
He tugs the roots of his hair in frustration. “Yes and for that I’m sorry. I know that I shouldn’t said those things and make you feel insecure.” He frowns.
“You are pretty, smart and of course all-things-amazing and I am grateful that I’ve crossed paths with someone like you. I’m glad that we shared a few things with each other and I hope we can share more.” He gives me a small smile, hoping that it can melt me like those other times.
After a few seconds, I finally speak. “You are full of bullshit, do you know that? I’m sure your Cara knows you more than me and I’m sure as hell that you were talking shit about me to her when she fucking left our bloody class to walk you back to class!” My voice getting louder and louder.
He winces a little but I wasn’t buying it. I waited for more explanation from him but he doesn’t give out anything. “Well if you don’t have anymore shits to say then excuse me, Austin Lawson.” I call out and reach out for the doorknob.
But before I could even reach it, I hear him shout out, “Go out with me!”.
I must be dreaming. I’ve been waiting for him to say those words to me since I started to like him. This is like a dream come true and I can imagine my subconscious jumping around with a giant grin on her face.
On the outside, I wasn’t as enthusiastic as I am on the inside though; I stand still with my back against him and my hand almost reaching the doorknob.
“Why would I go out with you?” I ask even though I’ve already said a million times ‘yes’ in my head.
I could imagine him sighing and then shrugging his shoulders behind me. “Because we both know that we have something between us, Paradice.” He mentions. I slowly turn around to face him.
My thoughts immediately go back to the note that was in his card holder. The two words that were driving me insane this morning are actually making sense now. My calculations are right; maybe he does feel the same way too.
“A pure attraction.” I say out loud before I could even stop myself.
Our eyes are somewhat sending electric shocks to each other. It is like there’s only me and him in the whole wide world. Time seems to stop as we continue to pierce into each others’ souls.
I look at his brown eyes and I know that he is sincere about his apology and I realised that I was partly wrong in this situation too. I guess we both made a mistake here.
“Exactly.” He breaths out.
“I’m sorry, Austin. I know shouldn’t just walk away like that when I’ve promised you that I wouldn’t do it.” I look down to my feet. I decided to ignore the fact that he just asked me out and settle the ‘you-promised-not-to-walk-away’ problem first.
Then, a finger lifts my chin up. Tears are brimming in the corner of my eyes but I wouldn’t let them out; I just couldn’t.
“Don’t be sorry. It was my fault too. I should’ve waited to tell you at the right time but I just couldn’t keep it inside me anymore. I should’ve taken the time understand what you feel when you hear that piece of information and for that, I’m sorry too.” He explains, his finger no longer under my chin. Instead, his hand cups my cheek.
I gasp a little when he did that because that was the first time anyone has done that to me and it was rather a deja vu moment as I did the exact thing to him this morning.
Out of the blue, the bell rang, breaking me and Austin’s little moment.
We quickly break apart and I can feel heat rising to my cheeks. Students start to fill the hallways as it’s break time. He rubs the back of his neck awkwardly and I try to avoid eye contact.
“So… The offer still stands.” He mumbles but loud enough for me to hear.
I look up, the same time when he turns his head to look at me. I give him a small smile, knowing that all is forgiven.
“Ask me again after school, then we’ll see.” I suggest and open the door. I go into class and every pair of eyes are watching me, including Miss Cox.
“Did that motherfucker apologise?” Zach asks, breaking the uncomfortable stare that everyone is giving me. I was a little surprise when Miss Cox didn’t point out that he shouldn’t curse.
I feel like the world is silent at that time. It was as if everyone in this Earth is waiting for my answer.
After a few seconds, I nod. “Yeah, he did.” I say with a smile, not forgetting the fact that Mr. Nike just asked me out.