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The Grisly Tale of Sawney Bean

By O A Guilfoyle All Rights Reserved ©

Thriller / Horror

Prologue

Coira's POV

I always thought he was a funny fella, that neighbour of mine, that Mr. Alexander Sawney Bean. I’m telling you, that Mr. Bean, he’s always been a funny one.

My husband always said to me, he did, he said to me "Coira, there’s nothin' strange about Sawney Bean, yer just bein' daft. Yer not ill, are ye? Yer not goin' mad, are ye, Coira?"

Me, mad? Ha! No, I’m sane, and I’m far more sane than my husband, I can tell you that, far more sane than everyone around here. Me, mad? No. Ha!

And that woman of his, that woman of Sawney's, she’s an odd one, too; she's as vicious and as mad as he is, I tell you. A funny pair, they are, a very strange couple. But no, nobody listened to Coira, nobody listened to little, old me. Pft, well now they’re listening, now they believe me. He’s run off with his woman, they’ve run off and nobody knows where they’ve gone. Well I don’t care, nobody should care, good riddance to them, that funny pair. I’m glad to be shut of them, and so should everyone else. God knows what that idle and dishonest fella is doing with his existence and his woman. Maybe they’ve run off to marry, maybe their family doesn’t approve of them being together- but, like I said, I don’t care. I don't care where they've gone, and I don't care what they get up to while they're gone, either.


"Go ye not by Galloway
Come bide a while, my friend
I'll tell ye o the dangers there –
Beware o Sawney Bean.

There's nae body kens that he bides there
For his face is seldom seen
But tae meet his eye is tae meet your fate
At the hands o Sawney Bean.

For Sawney he has taen a wife
And he's hungry bairns tae wean
And he's raised them up on the flesh o men
In the cave of Sawney Bean.

And Sawney has been well endowed
Wi daughters young and lean
And they a hae taen their faither's seed
In the cave o Sawney Bean.

An Sawney's sons are young an strong
And their blades are sharp and keen
Tae spill the blood o travellers
Wha meet wi Sawney Bean.

So if you ride frae there tae here
Be ye wary in between
Lest they catch your horse and spill your blood
In the cave o Sawney Bean

They'll hing ye ap an cut yer throat
An they'll pick yer carcass clean
An they'll yase yer banes tae quiet the weans
In the cave o Sawney Bean.

But fear ye not, oor Captain rides
On an errand o the Queen
And he carries the writ of fire and sword
For the head o Sawney Bean.

They've hung them high in Edinburgh toon
An likewise a their kin
An the wind blaws cauld on a their banes
An tae hell they a hae gaen."

-The Ballad of Sawney Bean

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