The waiting was killing me. I fidgeted on the chair eyeing the floor and only the floor. I couldn’t stand the idea of looking at my mom in that state. Hearing her whimper like that broke my heart. I knew if the results were positive, which it was likely in that minute, my life would change, and I wasn’t looking forward to that on my seventeen years of life. The idea of chemotherapy wasn’t pleasant at all. I cringed at the idea of my hair falling out and the vomiting, and everybody looking at me with pity I would not need.
“Like it would make any difference from now” an annoying voice in my head replied to my thought.
I knew that at times like that you have to be positive, imagining that everything is going to be alright and that you don’t have cancer. The thing is that it was almost impossible to be positive, not after two weeks of fainting almost every day at any time. The faintings happened when you didn’t expect them at all; in the shower, in the middle of a class, cooking, etc. I wasn’t even stressed when it happened; one time, during the first days it started to happen, I was watching Netflix on my bed, very relaxed eating from a bucket of ice cream, and from one second to another, I passed out. The next thing I knew, I woke up a few minutes later, with my face inside the bucket of ice cream and my bed covered with it.
The lack of food was discarded the first two days, then a few days later the faintings happened almost every day, up to two times a day. It was sickening the way I had to hold on to everything because at any moment I could faint, and hitting my head while unconscious could have lead to something worse. At any time of the day, someone had to make me company and keep an eye on me. The second week, I didn’t even bother to go to school, staying in bed all the time to prevent falling down and causing injuries.
From the corner of my eye, I saw Dr. Jackson coming into the waiting room with some papers that I presumed were the result of the medical examinations. I stood up quickly and nearly ran up to him. Everybody in the waiting room watched my strange behavior and then lost interest pretty quickly. The anguish I had was evident, but then I looked at Doctor’s Jackson face and he was...calmed. Very calmed and with a smile on his face. My anguish disappeared quickly and was replaced by utter confusion. My mom came not much later, with puffy eyes and sniffing.
“Mrs Moore -he began talking to my mom like she had been the sick one- I have great news for you and especially your daughter. She is free of cancer or any type of dangerous diseases that we thought she had.”
My mom’s face lit up like a Christmas tree and tears of joy started to pour from her eyes. What was my reaction? I just looked at the doctor with a blank face.
“So I’m just fainting because it’s very normal?” The sarcastic comment was out of my mouth before I could stop it.
The Doctor looked shocked for a moment, he probably thought I was going to jump and dance with joy because of the good news. Actually, I was worried it was something worse and they just didn’t see it. “Something worse than cancer? What could it be?” I thought and started thinking of possibilities.
The Doctor recovered his expression quickly and put a cheery tone.
“We still don’t know the origin of your faintings, but in the next few days, we will run some tests on you to see what is happening. Like I said earlier, it isn’t a serious disease, so currently we have discarded cancer or any type of blood diseases, diabetes, brain disorders or strokes, etc. Is rather difficult to know why is happening and to be honest I was pretty surprised by the results. It’s a miracle.” He said looking at me like I was a puzzle to decipher.
My mom hugged me with all her strength, knocking the air out of me. I didn’t care, I hugged her back also like it was the end of the world and scolded myself in the first place for thinking it could be something worst. Nothing was wrong with me (kind of), and I should have been grateful since they gave me the news. Tears of joy threaten to spill over, and I let them fell free.
The Doctor mutter an ‘excuse me’ and then went to attend other matters. My mom and I kept hugging, while she stroked my hair.
“Thank God Lib...I don’t know what would have happened if you had something...” my mom said in an inaudible voice.
I just sighed and felt a huge weight lifted up from my shoulders.
The ride home was in a comfortable silence, in which I looked out through the window while the morning sunshine warmed my face.
I started thinking about all the people in my life that I love. My mom, the person who always supported me no matter what, and tried to make my sister’s life and mine much more happy since my dad left us.
My sister Aria, who left for college earlier this year, but the strong bond we have is intact. She was always the one who helped me with my problems, no matter how little they were. She even helped me with my hangovers. A little smile quirked up my lips at the thought of that.
Hannah, my best friend since middle school, who has never left my side and who I share a lot of memorable times. For example when we were in the ice cream shop a couple of streets down my house. We were laughing about something that I don’t remember now but we were laughing so hard that ice cream came out of Hannah’s nose. I started laughing harder to the point that tears were spilling over and I had to clutch my stomach with my arms. We both ended up on the floor laughing really loud with all the customers watching us as if we’re crazy. The owner came and kicked us out. We were never allowed again to go to that ice cream shop.
I closed my eyes and my thoughts went to my dad. He left us two years ago when he divorced my mom after I caught him in bed with another woman, who happened to be my English teacher. My mother didn’t want to hear excuses, and my father didn’t give any, so they simply got divorced and he moved to another state.
My mother was left heartbroken, and I, I was daddy’s little girl, so it hurt more than anything I had ever experienced in my life. My dad tried to call and talked to us, but I just plain ignored him. My mom, to distract herself, started working her ass-off to provide for me and my sister. She was a veterinarian and worked at the only pet clinic in town. She started taking more shifts than usual, but then she didn’t come home at all. Her excuse was always “This are very busy times”.
My dad, on the other hand, he is a well-known physicist and has come up with a lot of theories, especially about the multiverse. When I was a child, I remember him telling me bedtime stories about fantastic universes, and how different realities existed all at the same time. He taught me how to play the guitar, a hobby that we always spent hour and hours doing. That’s why I couldn’t understand anything when it happened.
To be honest, I never saw it coming. I always thought he was happy with my mom, but apparently, she wasn’t enough. We weren’t enough.
Good and bad things come and go, so even if’s a bad thing, you should appreciate it, you learn from it and they become a part of you. And it also means to not grow attached to good things, because someday they disappear and you are left heartbroken. I learned this the hard way with my dad.
“Tomorrow you’re not going to school.” my mom said looking at the road, interrupting my thoughts.
“What? Why not? I mean, the doctor said I’m alright.” I said in a matter-of-fact tone.
“Because you still have these random faintings and I don’t want you to get hurt.” she glanced at me with a worried look.
“Ah, the faintings, almost forgot about them.” I thought sarcastically.
“Plus, you have to finish plenty of school assignments I imagine” my mom added.
I groaned in annoyance and hit my head on the window. “Dammit.” I had to finish at least two essays of 2000 words each and a historical investigation of the industrial revolution and they were due last week. I had good grades in school, I put a lot of effort on it, but it was plain exhausting and besides, I was a week late. School isn’t my favorite place to say least.
My mom turned around the corner and I saw the house on sight. I unbuckled my seatbelt and waited till my mom parked the car. She stopped in front of the house and unbuckled her seat belt as well. I opened the door and stood up on the grass nearby.
Suddenly, dizziness came over me and it was like all my energy was sucked. I tried to hold on to something, failing miserably at it.
“Here we go.”
The car was too far away to use it as support and there wasn’t anything else near me to hold on to. Black spots blurred my vision and before I could say something my body hit the ground and everything went black.
My eyelids shot open and I started coughing grass and dirt that entered my mouth, probably when I felt.
“Oh my god Liberty are you alright?!” My mom was bent over, watching me with a panicked look, probably checking for any injuries. I pushed myself from the ground and looked over where my body laid. I was in the same spot I had fallen.
“Is my fault. I should have been more careful.” she said with her head resting on the palm of her hand.
“I’m fine mom, don’t worry. It’s not your fault.” I said, my voice rough, sounding like I had just swallowed a handful of dirt. Which I probably did.
“No, you’re not alright. God, I’m never going to get used to this.” the last part muttering to herself.
I tried to stand up but my mom gave me a glare that made me think about it twice. Even if I ignored her glare, I couldn’t stand up anyway. Every time I passed out all my energy was sucked out of my body and it was really hard to move for at least half an hour.
And then my good luck kicked in.
“Liberty are you okay?” A distant voice got to my ears, and my face paled.
“Shit. This isn’t happening to me.” My head spun to the place the voice came and I saw him. “Oh God.”
Lucas, one of the hottest and popular guys in my school, who also happened to be my neighbor and also my current crush was on the sidewalk in front of my house. He came running up to me with a worried look. He was in a white t-shirt and plain jeans. He didn’t have the varsity jacket of the school on, which I found odd.
Even though his outfit was plain simple, he could pull out the outfit like a Greek God in almost everything he wore. He indeed was one of the most handsome guys my eyes had laid on. His green eyes took my breath away every time I saw them and his messy brown hair looked perfect. But, guess what? I was too shy to talked to him, so that was my first time talking to him.
“Wait, how does he know my name?”
“Liberty?” he asked.
I was pulled out of my daydreaming with his voice.
“Ah?” I said dumbfounded.
“Are you okay?” he bent to his knees to look at me. His green eyes were just so...
I shook my head to take the thought of my mind.
“I-I’m fine.” I said with a nervous laugh and started looking elsewhere but not his face. Damned, I couldn’t look into his eyes without having the sensation that I could pass out. No pun intended.
“Do you want me to help you get to your room?”
“Of course! Thank you so much dear! Every time this happens she can’t walk at least for half an hour.” My mom finished for me with a smile.
“Great mom, just great.” I closed my eyes and just prayed he had changed his mind.
He gave my mom one of those charming smiles that makes every girl swoon.
“Of course Misses Moore, everything for Lib.” he said and at the same time he winked at me and gave one of his gorgeous smiles.
Without a warning or anything, he put his right arm on my thighs and the left one below my back and lifted me up like I was a feather in bride style. I felt the blush crept up my neck, making my face look like a tomato. I blushed deeper when I felt his biceps touching my thighs. He started walking to the front door, with my mom trailing behind us. I tried to hide the blush with my hair but it didn’t work because when I looked up to see him, he was looking at me with amusement and a playful smirk. I diverted my gaze and looked at the door like it was the most interesting thing in the world. My mom took the keys and opened the door with a swift move and we enter the house.
“Where’s your bedroom?”
“Upstairs, first door on the left in the hallway.” I said in such a small voice I was surprised he heard me. He went upstairs, and still, I couldn’t look at his face. He opened the door and paused, taking a look at my bedroom. He went up to my bed and softly left me in my bed.
“T-thanks.” I said giving him a small smile.
A moment of silence passed between us when he suddenly talked.
“You’re the talk of the school, you know?”
“So that’s how he probably knows my name.” I thought rolling my eyes internally.
“Really? Wow, I didn’t know.” I said with fake surprise. My best friend Hannah had been telling me everything that had happened at school, including the part where I was the topic of conversation of many.
He nodded. “Everybody is talking about when you fainted on chemistry...”
I cringed at the memory. We were in the chemistry lab in the middle of an experiment, and I passed out on top of the experiment. When I woke up, my face was orange as well as my clothes. Embarrassing? Yes, very.
I gave a nervous and looked anywhere but not his face.
“Whats happening to you?” He asked with concern in his voice. He took a sit on the corner of my bed, watching me with a strong gaze.
I sighed and passed a hand through my hair. “To be honest, I don’t know. I just know I have these random faintings and I don’t have any disease, to begin with. So, no clue.”
He eyed me for some seconds and then spoke.
“If you need something, just tell me and I’m going to be here as fast as I can, okay?”
My heart flutter and I nodded and said quick thanks. He was opening the door to leave and I remembered I didn’t have his number.
He turned around and lifted his eyebrow as a yes?
“Emm...I don’t have your number.” I blushed a little at the statement.
A smirked crept up to his lips and went straight to my board in the wall across my bed. His body blocked the view so I couldn’t see what he wrote until he finished and moved. My eyebrows lifted up at the name he wrote after his number.
“Sexy Beast?” I asked him, laughing at the name he picked.
He walked to the door and opened it. He then turned around and told me something I almost melted for.
“Yeah, but only for you beautiful.” He winked at me and send me a smirk, and then he was gone.
“Holy SHIT.” My thoughts screamed and the only thing I wanted to do was jump in excitement, but then I remembered that I couldn’t move and it just left me with a full grin in my face and thinking that maybe the faintings were useful after all.
Half an hour later, I could move normally, and the first thing I did was obviously call my best friend and tell her everything that happened. To the news that I wasn’t sick, to what happened with Lucas. At first, she attacked me with thousands of questions if I was injured or something. When I told her I was fine about a thousand times and she was convinced, she started screaming, making me move the phone away from my ear. She started saying Lucas and me were meant to be and more nonsense which I just shook my head at.
“Must I remember you that he is a player and all that cliché shit and in the special case something happens, I would not be any different to any other girl who has been with him?” I said while I got into my bed and sat with my legs in pretzel form.
She groaned. “Have a little faith in yourself women.” I heard her chuckle through the phone. I was about to say something to debate her comment but she interrupted me.
“Wait a sec.” I heard shuffling through the phone and then some cursing.
“Hannah are you alright?” I asked worriedly.
It took her a while to answer. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine, but I have to go. My brother broke his leg in soccer practice. I’ll call you later.” She ended the call before I could say something. I shrugged and started to check Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc. to kill boredom.
My gaze suddenly went to the guitar laying on the corner of my room. How I wished I had the courage to take the guitar and played it, but I was scared. Scared that all the memories would flood back the moment my fingers grazed those strings. I moved my gaze to my phone again, shaking my head to take all those thoughts away from him.
“Finish school work, dumbass.” An annoying little voice in my head said. With all my willpower I got out of bed and went to my computer that was on the table in front of my bed. When I opened it, Facebook was already opened and I had a notification I didn’t have when I checked my phone. It was a friend request...from Lucas. My eyes widened and I stare at the screen for at least a whole minute without blinking. Slowly, I moved the mouse and clicked the Confirm button and stared at the screen another whole minute, thinking maybe it was just a joke and something was going to pop up on the screen suddenly or whatever. Since nothing happened, I closed Facebook and started working on my assignments, a full grin on my lips that not even the devil could take away.
What a day...and it was just 1 PM in the afternoon.