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By Jack Knorps All Rights Reserved ©

Romance / Drama

(Part 1) Geometry




I was fifteen the first time I cut myself. I don’t know why I did it. I think it had something to do with not feeling justified in my pain. I think it had something to do with nobody else ever caring how I felt. I think it had something to do with the lack of real danger in my life. So I cut, I felt a threat, and I felt a balance. I was in search of equilibrium. I was in search of a connection between my mind and my body.

Nobody else knew I cut myself (except for one). I never cut too deeply, or had any serious medical emergency. Nobody ever saw my scars either—or at least they never mentioned them. My favorite places to cut myself were my arms and my chest. Sometimes I would try to carve in miniature tattoos there, but the cuts were never deep enough to make an impression. This was when I was fifteen, and first discovered self-mutilation.

The first time I ever cut myself, I had failed a geometry test. When I got home, I told my parents I failed it, and they asked me how I could be so dumb to fail at geometry. I told them I thought it was hard. They said geometry was only about shapes, so it was easy. I said it was more complicated than that. They said they weren’t aware that geometry had changed its rules in the last thirty years. I told them it was hard for me anyways. They told me I better not fail my next test in the class.

I went up to my room and took out a razor that I had been given prematurely as a stocking stuffer. I had no need to shave at that point, but I had the razor. I pulled the right sleeve of my shirt up, and I made three equal incisions, pushing hard, watching the untouched skin become broken as it gave way to bloody trails. I was trying to cut out a triangle. That is, I didn’t want to cut out a piece of flesh in the shape of a triangle, but I wanted the cuts to make the outline of a triangle. Blood slowly seeped down over the area, and any thought that there would be a clean triangle left in the spot was forgotten. What I left was a messy splotch. It was sloppily done. But I saw the blood, and looked at my arm in a mirror, and I was glad I had done it. I was proud of myself. It was the first time I had changed the appearance of my body through my own immediate will. I stayed in my room for another hour or two until the bleeding had been fully clotted, and I went downstairs for dinner with my parents. They asked me what I was so happy about, since I had been so embarrassed and sullen earlier in the day and I just said that I was happy that tomorrow was another day to start afresh.

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SandraHan1: This story is very descriptive, with vivid scenes from the very beginning, which made for a good scene setting. I love the symbolism in names, such as “Naysayers”, “Hadd”, etc . The story itself is revolutionary, intriguing, emotional and exciting. I was very pleased to see that there is a happy ...

Laraine Smith: My only suggestion on the grammar is to use www.grammarcheck.net. I have it bookmarked on Google Chrome. I see myself in the determination in this beautiful story! I have Cerebral Palsy, and I have dreams that I have been working hard for, too! The humor made me laugh!

zoheusher20: What more can I say? The writing style and little details drew me into the book and for the entirety of the story I was Juliet. I felt her turmoil and emotions and every trouble or triumph as they arrived. This story was very different and had quite a few little but unexpected twists that made it...

Norah: I seriously loved this story so much. I think it only took me two days... I wanted to yell at all the characters at least once. The build up was amazing too! I also was really surprised at the ending with the cliffhanger. Much luck!

Cliuin: I couldn't stop reading from the moment that I started this book and that was some hours ago...

Ilanea Zavala: I loved it and well I really hope you continue writing more to the story.

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Mary Abigail: I have always been a serious reader but reading romance has always been an outlet for me to be happy and this, makes me happy. It's entertaining with just enough drama and maybe a bit more - I do need more.

aoifecollopy22: I loved how the author had the conflict come back later in the story. Also how they passed time without going over anything. That really helped move the story along. This kept my up for a few hours. YOU SHOULD READ THIS

nehmeyasmin: It was the most heart warming but heart breaking story ever and I want the next part right away. It kept me hooked until the end even though there were a couple mistakes it was truly amazing. I think this book could go far if it wanted to

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