She was the girl that I could never get. The girl that was so close yet so far, so completely out of my reach. I wanted nothing more than to be with her; to show her how much I cared. But that was impossible. After all, I didn't stand a chance. She had a boyfriend and who was I? Well, I was her best friend.
I ran down the street toward the house as I saw his car round the corner. 'Shit. Shit. Shit. I am so dead. I should have been there 20 minutes ago!' I slammed open the door and slammed it shut. My sister looked up at me from the door and smiled, "You're late. Better hurry up" she said. I growled at her and ran up the steps.
'Please don't fall! Please don't fall!' I said to myself over and over again. As soon as I got to my room and jumped on my bed, pretending to study, I heard the garage door open. "I'm home," he yelled. "Hey dad! How was your day?" Candace yelled from downstairs.
"It was good. I thought I saw your sister running down the street though," he said in confusion. That was my cue. I got up with my homework in hand and ran downstairs, two at a time. "Nope! I'm right here dad. Must have been somebody else," I mumbled, out of breath. "Oh that girl looked a lot like you though. So, how was your day girls?" he asked sitting down.
I smiled to myself and Candace looked over at me and rolled her eyes. I just smirked and raised my eyebrows at her. I had gotten out of it yet again and was proud of it. Let me help you understand what just happened. Everyday I stay after school with my friends to do something my father wouldn't really "approve" of. So I can't tell him. Candace knows and promised not to tell as long as I give her rides to and from her cheerleading practices. I agreed but only for one reason. Her. My best friend and captain of the cheerleading team, Jocelyn.
I couldn't come up with a good excuse to see her so Candace actually helped me more than she actually knew. So anyway, back to what I was saying before. I usually don't get home 30 seconds before my dad but today ran a little late and I almost got caught. If my dad ever found out what I was doing, he would not only kill me but also kick me out of the house.
I heard my phone go off and looked at the caller I.D. "Izzy" showed up on the screen and I smiled and answered it. "You shouldn't be calling me," I said in mock anger. "Whatever, you know you love me," she said laughing. I walked into the other room and sat down on the couch. "Did you see your girl today?" she asked. "No and I wish she was my girl" I replied, sighing.
"You didn't? I'm pretty sure everyone at the school saw what she did," she said in surprise. I sat up in shock and was suddenly interested. "What she do?" I asked. "She was practicing a routine in gym and when she went to do that little flip thingy or whatever the hell you call it, she didn't have anything on!" she exclaimed. I jumped off the couch and stared at the phone like it had grown a head.
"What?" I yelled. "Yeah. Nothing at all! I mean, I understand wanting to air 'it' out; sometimes I don't wear panties to bed and I can feel a sort of draft peeking up there and it feels kin-". "Whoa! Izzy! Stop, I don't wanna hear about your 'drafting' issues. Why wasn't she wearing any…uh…panties?" I asked in embarrassment. "I don't know. I thought she would have told you, another all, she's your best friend. I can't believe no one told you" she replied.
"I don't know if I should be embarrassed or extremely turned on that she wasn't wearing any panties at practice. Damn, the whole school knows?" I asked, stroking my hand through my black shoulder length hair. "The whole damn school! Everyone was talking about it. Adam told me and he heard it from Carly" she replied. "Carly West?" I asked.
"Yeah. I wonder if Candace knows? You know, her being on the team and all" she said. "I'll ask". I walked out the room and grabbed Candace from the kitchen. "Whoa! Hey! Tori, let go!" she said, snatching her arm away. "Did you know about Jocelyn and the whole non-panties wearing thing?" I asked. She started laughing and I looked at her in confusion.
She rolled her eyes and took my phone from me, pushing the 'end' button. "Hey! I was talking to Izzy," I said, trying to grab my phone. She put her index finger up and went through my contacts. I stood there, waiting for her to give me my phone back. She pushed the 'send' button and held the phone up to her ear. It rung for a while and then I heard a voice that I recognized and tried to grab my phone from her in panic.
"Hey Jocelyn, I bet you were expecting my dumb sister but she has to ask you a question. Here she is". Candace handed me the phone and I shot her a death glare. She mouthed, "you'll thank me later" and went back in the kitchen. I sighed and put the phone to my ear.
"Um…hey Jocelyn. What's up?" I said nervously. "Hey…I bet you heard about". "Yeah, what's up with that?" I asked, sitting down slowly. "Well, everything that you've heard isn't true…Jeremy started that rumor" she replied softly. I was now official confused. "Jeremy…as in your boyfriend?" I asked. "More like as in my ex-boyfriend" she replied in a scoff.
"I'm guessing he took the break up bad. So why does everyone believe you had no…um you know, on during practice?" I asked. "He took a picture of me during practice once. I was flipping out of the pyramid and he got a shot up my skirt. You know how much of an editing wizard he is, so he made it look like I had nothing on and sent it all around. The only people who know the truth are the girls on the team and now…you" she replied.
I nodded my head and it got quiet. "Jeremy's a dick," I mumbled. I heard her laugh on the other line and I started laughing too. When we both calmed down, I asked the question I had been meaning to ask since she told me, "So why did you two break-up?" I asked. She got quiet again and I heard her sigh. "He just…wasn't the guy I thought he was" she replied.
"You mean he wasn't the fire starter?" I said without thinking. 'Shit'. I put my hand through my hair and leaned back against the couch. "What?" she asked in confusion. "Remember when we were little and…you're Grandma said when she met your Grandpa it was like someone started a fire inside her? She compared love to a fire being burned inside of her soul. I remember she used to joke and say I was your fire starter" I replied, hoping that she wouldn't freak out.
She started giggling and I smiled. "I can't believe you still remember that! We were like 7 years old when she said that! It's been 10 years" she exclaimed in shock. "Well, it was important to me. It meant a lot to me" I said softly. 'I always hoped I was your true fire starter'. "Tori, you are the sweetest person in the world. I'm so glad you're my best friend. I love you," she said. A smile crossed over my face and I sighed. "I know, I love you too J". There was a noise on the other line and I heard her say, "Okay mom".
"Well, I gotta go. My mom is being bitchy. Talk to you later ok?" she asked. "Yeah. Yeah of course" I replied. "Ok. Bye. I love you," she said again. She had no idea how much I hated and loved hearing her say that. Mostly because I knew that she cared about me, but partly because I knew it wasn't that way. "I love you too. Bye". She hung up and I just stared at the phone.
God, I wished she loved me too. I can dream right? Yup, I can always dream. My phone went off again and I opened it. "Yo?" "You hung up on me? How dare you! I thought you loved me! This relationship is over!" she yelled sarcastically. I laughed and heard her laugh too. "I just got off the phone with Jocelyn," I said. "What she say?" she asked on edge. "It's not true. Dumbass Jeremy made up the whole thing because she broke up with him" I replied roughly.
"He's a dick," she groaned. "My compliments exactly" I said sarcastically. We talked for a while until I had to go and actually do that homework that I pretended to do. I hung up the phone and walked into the kitchen to see Candace cooking dinner. "Where's dad?" I asked. "Outside cutting the grass," she replied, not looking up from the box of directions.
"Oh. Why didn't you just tell me what happened with Jocelyn?" I asked, sitting down at the table. "Because then you would have an excuse to hear her voice and listen to her say". She cleared her throat and put her hands together in front of her chest. "Oh, I love you so much Tori bear. I can't stand not being around you every waking minute of every waking day. Tell me you love me as much as I love you or I'll die. I'll die I tell you" she said, trying to sound like Jocelyn. I lunged at her and she laughed and moved out the way.
"Tori, I would never do something like not wear panties during practice, that is, unless you were watching". I lunged at her again and she ran around the table. "Every night I dream about what you would do to me if I didn't have any panties on, but I just wake up with a big wet spot on my bed". I tackled her and she laughed. "She would never say that" I growled, tickling her. "How do you know? Are you really around her every waking minute of every waking day? That's kind of stalkerish sis," she said, raising her eyebrows.
"That's it!" I picked her up and dropped her on the couch. "Wait till I tell Maxie that you were saying all that stuff about her?" I said, shaking my head back and forth. She gasped and sat up on her elbows. "You wouldn't?" she warned. I picked up my phone and she tried to take it from me. "You call her and you die!" she yelled.
"Girls! Who's watching the food?" our dad yelled from outside. Candace ran back to the stove and glared at me. I just smirked. She knew I would never call Maxie. She loved Ms. Nash as much as I loved Ms. Viemore. I watched as she stirred the food and then ran upstairs to grab my laptop. Might as well do that homework before I get lazy and just neglect it all together.
Candace asked me to set the table and I grumbled as I got up. I bet you're wondering where our mother is. Well, she bailed. She actually left the scene when Candace was four. We haven't seen her ever since. I hate my mom. I used to love her and I know hate is a strong word but I really mean it when I say I hate her. She hurt my father to the core. He just shut down on life and started acting like a robot. He wasn't even the same person when she left. She gave no reason why. She just got up in the dead of the night and ran away from her problems; she ran away from us. And I will never forgive her for that. My mother has always been a touchy subject to me. I've only talked about her to Candace, Jocelyn, and Izzy.
I hope she never comes back. I hope she's miserable somewhere and missing us. I hope I never see her again cause I would have some choice words and they wouldn't be good ones. As many issues as I go through, I will never get over the abandonment of my mother. Never. She was the one who I thought I could go to when I have problems. She was supposed to be my shield. My rock. My mother. I heard my phone go off and smiled as I looked at the called I.D. I didn't need my mom now because I have a new rock. A better shield. Someone who will always be there.