Complicated Feelings [BOOK ONE] ✔

By Chey All Rights Reserved ©

Drama / Other


“Complexity has nothing to do with intelligence, simplicity does.” - Lawrence Bossidy

| z e k e |

Things have been going downhill ever since Clara’s father killed himself and Clara tried to kill herself, again. Layne has hardly left her side, and I guess that she is on suicide watch. Lucy almost had a heart attack when she found out, and is also watching her carefully. She is also watching me, waiting for me to snap.

“Luce, I’m not going to try again!” Clara exclaims. “You’re worse than Layne!”

“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Layne mutters, glaring at the floor.

“It is a compliment, babe.”

“Enough with the flirting!” Lucy growls, her eyes flashing dangerously.

“Lucy,” I sigh. “Leave them alone.”


“No, Luce.”

She mumbles a few curses before walking away.

“Thanks, Zeke,” Clara sighs.

“She’s paranoid,” Layne mutters. “And annoying.”

“Good on you for figuring that out,” I sigh.

He chuckles.

“Zeke...” Clara trails off.

“Yeah?” I ask.

“If Luce is paranoid now, you need to keep an eye on her.”

“I am.”

“Think of her history.”

“You think that?”

“She’s tried before.”

“Wait. What?!”

“What, Zeke?”

“What are you talking about?”

“She must not have told you.”

Clara runs from the room and Layne grabs my arm to stop me from following her. All of a sudden I hear Clara yelling at Lucy and the sound of a door being slammed closed. I hear water running and Lucy cursing multiple times.

| c l a r a |

I run out of the room and Layne stops Zeke from following me. I silently thank him and keep running. I run into the rumpass room bathroom and stop dead. Lucy is sitting on the wet tile floor, covered in blood and water from head to foot.

“What the hell, Lucy?!” I yell.

“Don’t, Clara,” Lucy mutters. “Leave.”

“No. You need help!”

“This doesn’t concern you!”

“The hell it doesn’t!”

I kick the door shut and it slams loudly. I kick the razor away from Lucy and I force her to sit up on the edge of the bathtub. She reluctantly turns the tap on and washes the blood away. I help Lucy and she curses when water hits her gut. I yank her shirt up and my eyes widen.

“Oh my god..” I whisper.

There are cuts and words carved into her torso. I scan over them, my eyes widening when I read some of the words carved into her skin. I trace over the one that reads ‘BEAUTIFUL’ and blood comes off. It isn’t the one that is bleeding but, it is still depressing. The on that is bleeding makes me scream.

“Clara!” Layne yells.

“Layne! Get in here!” I yell.


Layne opens the door and pokes his head in. He notices the blood and his eyes fly to me. I motion to Lucy and Layne’s eyes widen further when he sees all the cuts, words and blood, his jaw dropping. Zeke comes up behind Layne and fear washes through me.

“Zeke!” I yelp.

Layne steps into the room and closes the door quickly. He locks it and the handle rattles, Zeke trying to get in. He bangs on the door and Lucy flinches. Layne ignores Zeke and studies the cuts covering Lucy, gasping when he sees the new addition.

“Holy shit, Lucy!” Layne exclaims.

“Don’t start, Layne,” I warn.

“Why, Luce?”

Luce looks away. “It’s true.”

I look at the words ‘GAY BITCH’ and tears sting my eyes. I force myself to look away and get a wet wash cloth. Layne takes it and wipes the blood of Lucy’s torso, being as careful as he can. Even though he is careful, a few gasps escape Lucy.

“I’m going to be sick,” Layne mutters after a few minutes.

“Go, Layne,” I say. “We’ll be fine.”

Layne nods and opens the door, leaving Lucy and I alone. I throw all the blood covered material into the wash and Lucy pulls on one of the washed shirts. I look at her with understanding and she rolls her eyes. She gets up to leave and I grab her wrist.

“Don’t do this again, Lucy Julia Paulson,” I warn.

“Why not, Clara Jane Rhode?” Lucy growls.

“I don’t need to lose someone else.”

“You’ve lost nobody that was close to you!”

“Nobody close to me?!”

Lucy shrugs. “It’s true.”

“How is it?!” I hiss.

“You kept everyone at a distance, never getting closer. You still are.”

“We all have our reasons, Lucy.”

“Unless you’re dying, it’s not a good enough reason.”

I stiffen.

“Clara, please tell me that you’re not dying,” Lucy begs, her eyes blowing wide and tears starting to pool in their blue depths.

“Would it make you feel better?′


“I can’t, Luce. I’m sorry.”

“Does Harriet know?”

I shake my head. “I only got diagnosed recently.”


“I passed out again and someone took me to the hospital. The doctors told me that I have a tumour on my brain. I’m dying, Luce, and it can’t be stopped.”


“I don’t need to make you worry more.”

“You need to tell everyone.”

“As in who?”

“Zeke, Layne, Harriet, Nick and Jeremy.”


“They need to know.”

“I know, Luce. I just can’t.”

“If you don’t, I will.”

“If you do... So help me, Lucy!”

“I won’t! I swear!”

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