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Complicated Feelings [BOOK ONE] ✔

By nogitsunechey All Rights Reserved ©

Drama / Other

XXV

“Complexity is the enemy of clarity.” - Andy Stanley


| l a y n e |

I wake up to a small headache and the sound of multiple people throwing up. Such a nice thing to wake up to... Clara’s head is on my chest but, that isn’t the thing that shocks me. The thing that shocks me is that I have no shirt on.

I peek under the covers and sigh in relief. I have my boxers on from yesterday. The thing that makes me frown again is Clara’s legs tangled with mine. She has a familiar baggy t-shirt and boy-legs on, luckily. What the fuck happened last night?

I shake her. “Clara!”

“Trying to sleep,” Clara groans.

“It’s serious.”

“Use the right code word, and then we’ll see.”

“Clara!”

“No! Tired!”

“Fine! Atlantis.”

She sits up. “Ugh. What’s wrong?”

“Look for yourself.”

She does so, and then looks at my state. “Layne, where’s your shirt?”

“You’re wearing it.”

Clara pales. “We didn’t. Did we?”

“No.”

“Fuck. That was close.”

“We may have done something though.”

“I hope not.”

“So do I, Clara.”

“I’m going to shower.”

Clara gets up and walks toward her bathroom, stretching. My shirts rides up her back a bit and my eyes go wide. They can’t be... We didn’t... Clara goes into her bathroom and I curse. My girlfriend’s little sister... I made out with my girlfriend’s little sister.

“Layne?” Clara whispers.

I look at her. “Oh, Clara.”

“Is this what I think it is?”

I look at the mark on her collarbone and my eyes widen.

“It is?”

I nod.

“Damn, Layne. What did we do?!”

“We must have made out.”

“Layne, we have to tell Hari.”

“At least we were drunk.”

“At least we only made out!”

“True.”

“I’d be screaming otherwise.”

“Clara? Layne?” Harriet asks. “What’s wrong?”

“Close the door and have a seat.”

She does just that.

“Hari...” I say hesitantly. “Last night, when we came home...”

“Bloody hell, Layne,” Clara mutters.

“You tell him then.”

“Hari, Layne and I accidentally got drunk and made out.”

“Holy damn,” Harriet sighs, relief covering her features. “I thought it was worse.”

“You’re not mad?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Layne, Clara and I need to talk.”

“I’m gone,” I say, walking away.


| c l a r a |

Layne walks away.

“Hari, what’s going on?” I ask.

“Layne needs you, Clara,” Harriet replies.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m back on the market.”

“Harriet!”

“I need to be alone. So, I’m leaving.”

“For how long?”

“I’m going back to Cheshire.”

“NO!”

“Clara,” Harriet sighs. “Layne will explain. He’ll take care of you. He always has and always will.”

“You promised!” I cry. “You said you’d never leave me!”

“I have family there!”

“You have family here!”

“I only have you, Zeke, Lucy, Nick and Layne!”

“Mum and Robert too!”

“They’re dead!”

I pale. “W-What?”

“They died yesterday.”

“H-How?”

“The plane crashed.”

“W-When?”

“During the party. I got a call this morning.”

“You’re lying!”

“Why would I? I have no reason to lie!”

“You have no reason not to lie!”

“I wouldn’t lie to you about this!”

“The real you wouldn’t!”

“I’m sorry to disappoint you, Clara, but, it’s the truth.”

Harriet walks out of my room and I scream, throwing the cup on my cupboard after her. Jeremy jumps over to me and hugs me. The door slams shut, and then it swings open not five seconds later. Lucy pulls me into a hug, and Zeke appears with Nick. Nick doesn’t even look like he is crying, but Zeke does. They join the hug and my eyes feel dry.

“Layne,” I whisper, my eyes blowing wide.

I tear my way free of the hug and run into my bathroom. I grab the razor from Layne’s hand and throw it away. I pull him into a hug and his tears soak my shirt. He starts sobbing quietly and I hear Jeremy, Lucy, Zeke and Nick leave us alone.

“Shh,” I whisper. “It’ll be fine.”

“No it won’t,” Layne sobs.

“Oh, Layne.”

I have never seen him cry before and it is honestly scaring me. Sure he has had tears in his eyes, but he has never let them fall. Right now looks like his breaking point, and I don’t know what to do. I just hold him and think that Layne needs Harriet right now. I’m not the one he needs at the moment.

“I need you right now,” Layne mumbles.

“Did I say that out loud?” I ask.

“Yeah.”

“Are you alright?”

“I’ll survive.”

“I hope so.”

“Don’t worry about me.”

“Who else will I worry about?”

“Not me.”

“Nobody else is this broken.”

“Nick is.”

“He wasn’t even crying.”

“You aren’t.”

“Layne...”

“Come to think of it, you’ve never cried.”

“Don’t.”

“Why aren’t you?”

“I can’t cry.”

“Why not?”

“After the incident the doctors told me that I may never cry again.”

“Have you tried?”

“For two years. I managed watery eyes.”

“Try focusing on all your grief, anger and frustration.”

I focus. “Now what?”

“You want to cry right?”

I nod.

“Force yourself to cry.”

A tear runs down my face and I gasp in shock and surprise. More tears follow and, soon, I am crying like there is no tomorrow. Lou pulls me into a hug and tears soak both our shirts. I eventually run out of tears and we pull apart. I wipe my eyes and sniffle.

“You did it, Clara,” Layne whispers.

I smile. “I did it.”

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