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Complicated Feelings [BOOK ONE] ✔

By nogitsune_anime_chey All Rights Reserved ©

Other / Drama

Chapter 21

“Making the simple complicated is commonplace; making the complicated simple, awesomely simple, that’s creativity.” - Charles Mingus


MYSTERY PERSON

She is broken, not like a toy, but like a person. She is torn between life and death, just like many others in this fragile world. She makes me smile, laugh and angry, but I still love her and want her to be happy. I’ll mend her broken life.

Clara Jane Rhode.


CLARA

Layne and Zeke are watching some stupid cartoon on the television and laughing their heads off while I am cooking breakfast/lunch for us. The glint of the silver blade of the knife catches my eye and I force myself to ignore it. I serve up the food and the boys sit at the island.

“Are you alright?” Layne asks.

“Yeah,” I reply.

“You’re on edge.”

“It feels strange.”

“It’s Friday. The lads and I will take you out.”

“Where to?”

“Sam’s party.”

“You want me to drink?” I ask in disbelief.

Zeke shrugs. “It helps.”

“It numbs everything,” Layne adds.

“Live a little.”

“I’ll come,” I sigh. “Harriet won’t be happy.”

“Harriet actually suggested it,” Lou grins.

“I’m sixteen, almost seventeen.”

“And? I’m nineteen.”

“You’re closer to the legal drinking age.”

“Who cares?” Zeke sighs. “Age is age.”

“Don’t start!” I snap.

“We’re home!” Harriet yells.

I take advantage of their distraction and race up the stairs. Layne curses profusely and runs after me, his footsteps thundering up the stairs. I run into my bathroom, grab the closest razor, and instantly cut my wrist open. I hear a curse and look at my door. Layne is frozen in horror and Zeke is behind him. They slam the door and try to stop the rushing blood.

“Layne,” I say. “I want this.”

“No you don’t,” Layne argues.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“Jeremy.”

I feel guilty. “Jer...”

“Hari, Lucy, Nick, Zeke and I don’t want this.”

“Nick wants me out of his life.”

“Not dead!”

“I should be.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Why not?”

“We need you!” Zeke yells.

“Zeke-” I start.

“No, Clara! You are needed here and now! Nobody would miss you. Is that what you’re thinking? You’re wrong! Everyone would miss you! You may think that you’re not needed or wanted, that you are fucking worthless. You’re so wrong! We need you, we want you here and you are not fucking worthless! Do you understand me?!”

Layne stares at Zeke in shock. “Wow...”

“I’m sorry!” I cry. “I’m so sorry!”

Zeke pulls me into a hug. “It’s alright.”

“It’s not!”

“Just don’t do it again.”

“Ever?”

“Just not your wrists,” Zeke whispers, pulling back and giving me a serious look.

I nod. “I promise.”

“Good.”

“Layne?” Harriet yells through the door. “What’s going on?”

Layne looks at me.

“We have to tell her,” I sigh.

“Clara,” Zeke says. “Are you sure?”

“She needs to know.”

“Layne? Zeke? Clara?” Harriet calls. “Answer me!”

Layne sighs and opens the door. Harriet scans the room and her gaze lands on the blood on the floor, the razor and Zeke holding a cloth over my wrist. She goes white and stares at me with a mixture of horror, shock and sadness in her wide, green eyes.

“What?” Harriet rasps, barely able to make a noise. “Clara?”

“Harriet,” I whisper. “I’m sorry.”

“You better explain.”

“We will.”

We?!”

Layne and Zeke nod.

“Layne?” Harriet breathes.

Layne cringes at the tone she uses.

“What is Clara talking about?”

“We’re having a meeting.” Layne says. “Now.”

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