To be honest, your ideas are brilliant, how you produce them is horrific. You have a really great idea and I can clearly see what you're trying to produce but at times its stupidly cliche and amateur. The plot has me hooked but the way you write needs a lot of help. You have so much potential. I love the book, but, like a lot of writers on Inkitt and Wattpad, you have a terrible way of expressing yourself though you have a wonderfully amazing imagination. You just need some work with transitioning, piecing things together, and getting rid of the awful cliches. The plot and idea of the book is bloody brilliant but you have trouble expressing it. I've never read a book with a plot quite like this and I love it. I wish you the best of luck, I have hope that you will learn and become an exquisite writer, reaching your potential that is clearly there. Good luck!
Read the story now