cuyraq

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Fun

Needs a few tweaks but for where it was going it held a solid plot. Could be a fun little children's book one day if you get some great illustrations. Holds a conveying message about doing as your told or suffer unbound consequences. If this book was on the shelf today and if i had a kid i would buy it. Overall well done fix some grammar and sentence structure and it will be awesome. And yes i upvoted it in case you comment asking me to.
Cheers!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Diamond in the rough

For a work progress there is for sure potential to be had. Going over the positives on this work concerning the characters, the reader will be immersed into a plethora of a revolving cast. Put simple the MC (Nana) will come upon multiple encounters with different characters keeping the situation fresh and new. Works concerning the story itself can be drawn up simply as an evolving coming of age story with side events included here and there. Picture it if you will a series of short stories told in a fictional novel setting. Potential concerning this story can develop very well but the author needs to be wary of a clear concise direction so as not to confuse their reader base.

Going over the negatives of this I would like to first point out a some grammar errors that can be addressed once this project has been finished from the rough draft phase. Secondly I as an unbiased reader I found the style and tone of your writing to lack a certain depth. You have the emotional and well being of character covered; however the reader is left curious and rather frustrated in some chapters where certain scenes could have been depicted better. Some combat scenes (on the side note) was orchestrated well but felt rather short in some areas as if they were rushed. Lastly I would recommend researching better avenues to use the first person. As an author the over extensive use of I can feel repetitive regardless of the fact a sentence may require referring to the MC. There were times where you broke from the first person and left the reader confused as to the current situation and who was talking. ( narrator mc other?) If you wish to continue using a first person perspective in a recommend picking up "A clockwork Orange". I have not read it but it is written in a rather first person perspective that you may find useful to better your own work.

The Author put obvious handwork and dedication since the work itself was over 300+ pages. I would rate this as an above average story (for its type) once it has been polished. Keep up the good work and I look forward to reading it again once it is fully completed.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Well Done

First off.... Poor Richard, You really put him through hell. jokes aside i went into this story being slightly unimpressed and sort of haphazardly reading it. However as time went on as you try and to understand where hes at, and why these atrocious events are happening you begin to depict some theories. I was not a fan of your writing style but i fell in love with the plot and story. I am sure others will love how this book reads so don't take my opinion on it to heart. Some grammar errors but that's with everyone here no point in harping over it. My favorite part was when Catherine ate the fingers off the girl and neck.... I was a bit astonished and freaked out honestly. The ending was spot on and kind of a mind trip. If you can please explain the ending to me or how you envisioned it to be portrayed to the reader. It feels like a horrid place of purgatory but i could be wrong. Anyway great job ! 5/5 in my eyes. Oh if you can please leave a quick review on one of my works i appreciate it . Cheers !

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

I like it

Hey there Malcolm! i am glad you decided to run with this story, pry even more glad you kept the name Raft. Was a bit nostalgic for me in that regard hahah. Everything looks good but i find this story probably getting a lil stale as time goes on. Or perhaps not, Only time will tell depending on how you decide to take the story either short or novel length. I like how the jokes don't feel too repetitive the whole shit part of the joke you keep it fresh...pun intended. But you write comedy/humor i notice so i am sure you know what you are doing. Other than where the story might go Id say this looks great.. Only stickler for me was that he made earth, which gives the impression of a God and not a god. ( little g ) . Unless that was the intent then interesting choice, good to get some religious folk riled up over it hahaha. The humor style is not my taste but i can appreciate the style and see a good following for it down the road. Pry an age group thing perhaps who knows. If ya find time to review one of my works let me know even a chapter read is beneficial. Right well i hope this review was enough to sate your appetite you writing monster you ! haha have a good one stay safe if your in the florida/ texas area

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Well done

The message you wanted to send was clear and concise but it felt too rushed. For more emotionally blunt individuals like myself it would require a tad bit more detail. I think an extra 400 words of details and reliability between the read and writer will help this along. I dont see this as a standalone obviously but maybe a book of motivation or proverbs with this mixed in. Anyway good job keep up the good writing.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Well done

what is there to say. Fix some grammar errors and you will be golden. Alot of books here need grammar checks so no reason to harp on those minor things. It reads well and the plot is strong. Overall well done, I am not one for romance but i can say you did a good job here.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Potential

the biggest stickler for me was the pacing of the story and how it transferred from a first person perspective into a 3rd hybrid perspective within a chapter. I do love anime do not get me wrong but it does feel like a cliche story about revenge. However it is refreshing to see a your main character has distinct emotions that most authors tend to neglect. I could not put my finger on the girl but she was written up decently enough, the typical damsel in distress catch. Be good to see her play a larger role down the road if you have not planned for it. Aside from your structure and grammar the plot has promise and potential in the making but it is all on how you plan it out. Don't be afraid to get descriptive either. I was wanting a better explanation about his werewolf fur when it absorbs magic or something along those lines. The vampire section at the end felt a little rushed as a side note but was clever enough for the most part. The ideas are there man and you got some potential run with it and see where it goes I am rooting for ya man.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Average

To begin with i enjoyed your writing style and i didn't notice too many grammar errors that made it unreadable. Explanation of scenes and character development seems alright not amazing but it held its weight. But as for most action writers, romance is not their strong suit and tends to come off cheesy. if they force it into the story. I am not a huge fan of gi-joe or resident evil but from what i took out of it, seemed like a fun concept that you obviously put time and effort into and should be applauded for. Good stepping stone for future work.. keep writing and things will get easier. Not a bad story but not a good one. 3/ 5 stars

Read the story now
Writers Write Participant
Writers Write Maker of Progress
Writers Write Leaderboard Lion
Writers Write High-Fiver
Writers Write 10K Distance Writer
Writers Write Halftime Hero
Writers Write Writing Jedi

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.