Promising but a long way to go
Despite reading something out of my genre, I didn’t feel uninterested. As you have mentioned that the initial chapters require editing, I’d like to comment on the rest – considering.
Read the story now
Personally, I’d like to suggest a well balance of description and dialogue. Too much of anything makes it sounds slightly dull.
For eg. When you are introducing the Everard Eyles, instead of letting the characters describe, the narrator should right few lines about it. This is because the reader sometimes feels lost. It would be a great addition to the story if the readers are aware of the feelings, like what’s going on in the mind of the brothers.
Also, there were some scenes which were slightly abrupt. Like the fight or when Jack suddenly yelled and left.
One positive thing I noticed is that the writing gets better and better with very chapter. As an author myself who is writing the first book, I know the transition well. So, that is a notable point that you’re improving. Furthermore, the medieval theme seemed enticing.
Wish you all the best in completing the story and hope that I have helped you in pointing out something important. Lots of love and hugs!