Ashtyn

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Great start

I absolutely love this! I love the dynamic of each character, and how it feels like you are there feeling what they are feeling. I do have one question however. Are Kyle and that guy(forgot his name, I apologize) who saved him friends? Other than that I think this is great! Can't wait to read more! :)

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Great work!

I really enjoyed reading the first chapter. I really connected with your characters and could see everything you described in my mind as I was reading, I really hope you continue, because I see this being really great!

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Hard to read

This was really hard to read, but in many ways I sympathize with a lot of what you said. Although I can only imagine the emotional scars that you were left with after experiencing such trauma, I want you to know that what happened isn't your fault. I know what it's like to not feel loved by a parent and feel like a worthless piece of garbage, but I've learned that seeking forgiveness from the person that hurt you will only hurt you more. It's only when you seek forgiveness in yourself that you start to feel better. What happened to you does not define you or hinder you from who you want to be. Great piece though. Definitely felt my emotions pulled in every direction.

Keep writing and remember that when it comes to your dreams, the sky's the limit!

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My review

I love the concept of your story and how you make the reader feel connected to the characters! Would love to read more! My only advice would be is to watch your grammar and punctuation. Also The flow was very choppy to me. Overall though I really enjoyed it and look forward to reading future chapters!

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great concept

In the beginning I was a little lost, but as I continued reading it made more sense. I love the concept, but would be careful switching tenses, spelling, grammar, etc. Great start though!

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