Jonnathan Strawthorne

I love to write science, historical, alternate historical and appocalyptic fiction.

Overall Rating
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

A Good Read

I am not a fantasy fan nor reader so the writer will need to take my review with a grain of salt. I like the storyline, the characters, and the mystery. It makes for a good Sunday afternoon reading session. A number of the words used I am not familiar with as I do not read fantasy novels however over a bit of time I was able to come to understand what they meant in the context of the story. The plot flowed smoothly pulling me along with its intrigue. One critical matter that I think needs attention is the head hopping manner in which the dialogue proceeds. The author moves from Red's pov to his inner self, and many times to either his friend's pov or supposed antagonist's pov all within one chapter. I think the story, especially for a novice fantasy reader like myself would appreciate if Red's inner voice remained silent. The constant dialogue within his mind takes away from the story, is confusing at times and makes me wonder if Red is schizophrenic. Perhaps the writer may want to consider using Red to explain to a new student how the school works, what different categories are involved and how the student moves up in the cycle. One last area to consider is the antagonist. Perhaps make the antagonist more evil or cunning or manipulative. Just some thoughts to help out.

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