CETurner

Sydney

I am the author of Black Night Orange Day and The Wishmaker. I have been writing most of my life and love it. Below are some of my unpublished works please enjoy! Happy Reading!!!

Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great Start

This is a very good start to your story. You have managed to grab me quite quickly and leave me wondering what is about to happen next and in the future? It has the makings of a very good novel. I urge you to keep writing it and look forward to what comes next.

I found one mistake in chapter 6 where you meant to say quit and instead typed quite, I knew what you meant but it will be even better fixed. There are also some mistakes in your bio and blurb, they made me think twice about reading your work and could have that effect on others. So better to go have a quick look over it and make it as pretty as possible. I thought looking at blurb there would be more mistakes in the novel but I only found one. Please go redo your blurb the mistakes are misleading and it would make good GREAT!!!!!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good First Love Story

I really enjoyed reading your story and it pulled me back to my own first love. I love your characters and especially Scar with her noisy head and unbounded imagination. She is awkward and unsure yet she goes forward bravely. I also fell in love with her leading man and her best friend. The story has a good flow and kept me interested. All in all a good read I would recommend it to any who love saucy good love story!!! :-)

There were however a few little errors that once fixed will make your work shine even brighter. I think there has been some kind of error when you moved your work across. In chapter one at least your opening parentheses are at the bottom of the first letter instead of the top. As I said think it must have been a glitch when you submitted your work and is easy to see and fix. Also you have a few wrong words as in on instead of of, and cap in stead of gap, to show what I mean. Very easy to fix mistakes that reading your work out loud will help you find and easily fix. These little mistakes can detract from the beauty of your work and fixing them will only make your work be more readable and sparkle as best it can. I am still editing my own work after many editing runs and knowing your task wish you all the best with it. Please don't let this detract from the good work you have done, these are little things all authors have to deal with. Keep writing your talent will only get better and better.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Thought provoking

This is a rich outpouring of ones truth. Made me think about the situation you find yourself in. Right from the heart. Keep writing :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Read!

I thought this was interesting and entertaining. You are setting up a very good storyline and already I am wondering where it will go? Your characters a fresh and vivid and the interplay between them is very well done. I found the well edited parts the easiest to read, and encourage your to continue to fine tune it. Keep at it, your heading in the right direction. :-) CETurner

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Beginning

I think this is a really good beginning to your story. There are some great twists and turns in the first ten chapters. I think your characters are well presented, likable and real. I urge you to continue on with this novel it has the makings of a very good book.
There were a few spelling and grammatical mistakes that would be easy fixed with another read through.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Beginning

This is a really good beginning to your story. I like your characters and want to know more about them... I am curious as to exactly how old they are? Also where did the money come to make such a purchase? Maybe the next chapter holds the answers? I urge this writer to continue on and finish this novel I am sure it will make a very interesting read.
There were a few spelling mistakes and a couple of missing words, nothing another read through wont fix. Wishing you all the best in your writing future.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Excellent Reading

This is an exciting story set in a dystopian world that will pull you in quickly and hold onto you tight. I loved your characters and the little family they create. I hate the darker edges of this world but its what makes it seem so real. Amazing imagination and execution of your story make it a page turner. I wish you all the best with your writing future. :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great beginning

This is a really good start to your story. I am enjoying your characters and am keen to know more about the marbles. I urge this writer onward and upward with this story, you have the makings of a really good novel.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great start

I thought this was a great start to your story. I loved your main character and enjoyed your supporting characters too. There were plenty of twists and turns to keep you turning the page. I urge you onwards with your story and think it has the makings of a great novel.

There are a few typos in it but I think it is something that happens when moving your story across to Inkitt. Give it another read through best if its done out loud, it helps us find the pesky little mistakes. Once done your story will read even smoother. Wishing you all the best in your writing future. :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good story

This is a innocent and sweet story focusing on family and friends. Outlining a lifestyle and schooling with a war on the horizon. I really liked Dove and her friends as well as her family. Its a simpler time and the writer portrays it well. I look forward to more from this writer.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Really Good Beginning

This is a really good beginning to your novel. I am quite caught up in the story and had there been more I would have read on. I really like your main character and she seems to be unfolding nicely. I am also intrigued by the Dragon King who I met properly in chapter 2. I think this will be a wonderful novel and look forward to more of this story. I urge this writer to not only finish this novel, but I look forward to more stories from this author.

In chapter 1 there is a line that is left unfinished. There were also a few missing words in both chapters. These can be easily fixed by another read through or two. Reading your work out loud helps in finding the pesky little buggers.

I wish you all the best with your current novel and those that come after :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great mix of technology and fantasy

I found this story to be quite intriguing with its mix of technology and fantasy. I feel it has great potential but needs another read through to fix some errors. Your characters are likeable and believable. I think you have a good beginning and urge you to keep writing.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

wow great beginning

I want more now!!!! I really enjoyed your beginning and I loved the concept of your novel. Your main character is strong and likeable. Keep going I look forward to more....

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Story

This is a good story, I found your imagination delightful and in depth. Your characters were strong but I struggled mixing up Darius and Darian at times as their names are so close. I think you have a good story here but it needs a lot of editing. The many mistakes made it hard to read in places and left me guessing as to what you were saying? It made your story difficult to follow. I know when I first put up my work called Demon Dusted it didn't even have paragraphs along with many errors. I found some readers would not read it. So I am giving you a heads up that it needs your attention to be all it can be! I find reading my work out loud helps find the mistakes. Also asking a friend or family member to look it over for you. Fresh eyes often help see the mistakes we ourselves don't see. Editing is as big as creating the story in the first place every author needs to learn this, I myself still struggle but am learning by doing editing runs over and over again. I wish you all the best with this story, that I think will shine once the mistakes are taken care of.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Interesting Beginning

This is an interesting beginning to your story. I liked your main character and her friendship with Kathy. I am intrigued by the necklace and what it means or will do? There are some small mistakes in it that with another few editing runs should be easy to find and correct. You describe one of the boys in school and his house which says the house looked hunted, when I am sure you mean haunted. Fixing the little errors will allow your work to shine brighter. I look forward to more of this story, I think it has loads of potential.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Wow

For a short story this one really grabbed me and got me thinking. I wanted to know where Ai will go from here, and if there is a bigger story to come. I really enjoyed myself, the author has a poetic touch to her writing. Her descriptions of emotions and scenes came to life in my head. This little gem of a story has twists and turns I never saw coming. I urge this author to write, write, write!!! I look forward to more stories from them in the future.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Coming of Age story

I think this book would appeal to a certain age group. I unfortunately am not of that age group. I found the prologue very interesting but the first few chapters was a bit slow and not unlike many others set at school. It did however start to get more interesting around chapter 5. I thought maybe you could start with one of her nightmares at the beginning of chapter. That would better capture your audience and have them (the reader) wondering why a girl quite normal in other ways is having such night terrors. There by pulling them onward in hopes of finding out why? This is only a suggestion, you may be able to think of another way of pulling your reader in quickly then giving yourself time to set up your characters and scenery once the reader is engaged. I found a few mistakes in your work but most people have them so don't be disappointed. They are hard to catch when editing your own work. I suggest you read your work out loud and this can help in finding them, so does having a friend with fresh eyes look it over. I have just done another 3 editing runs on my work making about 10 or more all up. I also have a friend who is currently going to look it over as well. Editing is a HUGE part of writing and all writers have to do it. I think with some tweaking this can be quite a good book, I urge you to not only edit it but keep writing it I am excited for where it will go. I think it has loads of potential you just need to make it stand out for the many books written in the school setting. I need to say I have only read the first 5 chapters and this is not a finished book. I wish this author all the best with their writing and feel sure it will be a bright future.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Creepy Dark Intriguing

This book is dark witty and full of humour. I enjoyed reading it and felt empathy for this dark being that had powers beyond his control. I also liked your other supporting characters as well. It got me in quite quickly and kept me turning the pages. I recommend this to any who want a fresh walk on the darker side of things. Very well done!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Interesting Premise

I found this to be an interesting story that moved along at a good pace. I enjoyed getting to know your characters and the world they were trying to survive in. There are a few little mistakes that need fixing but on the whole its a good read.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Very Good Read!

First I love the title and it fits so well with the story. I was pulled in quite quickly and held till the end. I loved the twists and turns and the realness and likability of your characters. A definitely fresh take on romance. I urge any who love a good mix of romance. adventure, with a dash of fear splashed in there too, to give this book a go. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book and recommend it to all.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Interesting 1st chapter

I thought this was well written and interesting but it didn't grab me in the first chapter. It sets up a good basis for the rest of the story but I felt I could have been told more than just the main characters inner feelings. I found no mistakes and it is easy to read. I wish you all the best with your writing.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Excellent Beginning

This is an excellent start to your novel. I am already hooked and want to know more. If there was more written I would have read on happily. I think you have done well in setting up your story. I liked your characters and the detail of your fight scenes. Though it is only the beginning I recommend this to all that love a good fantasy novel. I look forward to more for you, and finding out where this story goes. Good luck with your writing I see a bright future for you.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Epic Beginning

This is the beginning of an epic story. Your idea is interesting and original. Your characters were well thought out and thoroughly believable. I look forward to seeing where this story goes. Keep at it and you will have a great book on your hands.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great Beginning

This is definitely a very good beginning. It pulled me in quickly and held my attention. Lots of early action sets up for a great story to be told. I look forward to seeing where your characters go and how their journey unfolds. Great work keep it up! :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Heart Felt Poetry

You are brave to reveal such depths of the heart and I commend you for it. It took me back to earlier years and my own unrequited love. Keep coming from the heart. I wish you all the best for your poetic future.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Read

This is a good read dealing with sensitive subjects. The author does a great job in showing that love is love is love! There were a few little errors nothing that another editing run would not fix. Reading your work out loud helps you find those pesky errors. All is all a wonderful job. I urge you to keep writing and refining your talent.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Excellent

This is well written story that will challenge you on many levels. Not for the faint hearted. Get ready to be pulled into the darkness and swept away by this tale. I recommend this book and tell its writer to keep going your work is wonderful.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Interesting Beginning

This is an interesting start. I like the premise of a world in darkness with hidden smiles. I enjoyed your main characters and thought they were well written. Keep writing and remember to edit your work also. Good luck!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Beginning

This is a good start to your story. I enjoyed a trip down memory lane as you took me back to school. Your characters are bright and feel real. As i am unsure where it is going i can't comment on the plot. You have given yourself a good diving board to continue from and build your story around. You are missing a few words here and there and sometimes have used the wrong word where something else would make your story clearer and more readable. Every writer has to edit edit edit, reading your work aloud will help you find those pesky mistakes. I have a good friend who reads over mine for me and then shows me the changes needed so i learn as i go. I encourage you to keep writing, there is a passion underlying your words that shines through.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good story

This is a good story that was entertaining and informative. A must read for those that believe in God. Reading your work out loud helps catch those pesky mistakes. Keep writing! :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Wow

This is an inspiring story, fresh and interesting. I look forward to more and where it will go. A great beginning to a wonderfully complicated world. Strong likable characters. Keep writing your work shows lots of promise!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Beginning

This is a good beginning and i wonder where it will go. Full of promise and possibilities. There were a few punctuation errors but these are easily fixed by reading your work out loud. Keep up the good work!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Beautiful

Beautiful and heartfelt, I enjoyed this poem very much. Keep writing!!! :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Interesting read

I enjoyed this book and its characters. Everyone wants to be young again and you deliver it to them in this book. Light hearted yet deep this book explores the second chance given to the main character. Keep up the good work :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Inspiring read

I truly enjoyed your characters and the setting of the story. It is a rich blend of two cultures. There are missing words or the wrong word is used. Reading your work out loud will help you find and correct these mistakes. Over all it was an enjoyable read. Keep writing!!!! :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Fabulous beginning

This is a very well written piece that will unfold into a fabulous book. I enjoyed your world and it is characters. Looking forward to where it is going... Keep up the good work :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great Story

I really enjoyed your story and am wondering how it will all turn out. It is wonderful to see the story from both sides and different points of view. I loved your characters and I enjoyed the constant action. Keep writing this is a really good book in the making.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great Beginning

This is a great start, I look forward to more. There are a few spelling mistakes but they are easy fixed, just give it a read through out loud and that will help you find them. I urge you to continue on with it as it could be a wonderful book. :-) CETurner

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Wow

Wow, way to grab someone's attention and keep a hold of it till the end. It touched my heart and made me want to reach out to the character and see if we could find another way. Excellently written just a few easy fixed punctuation errors. Keep writing your future looks bright! CETurner

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great Beginning

This is a great beginning and I look forward to seeing where it goes and what is really happening behind the scenes. I like your main character she is strong and well rounded. Keep at it this could be a wonderful story. That if she over comes the bullying and can rise beyond it can help many people. CETurner

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Wow

What a wonderful heartfelt beginning. I am completely enthralled and am very curious as to how this story will play out. It is such a tragic topic, but I see your work could help others in deep ways. Please continue on with it as it could affect people lives and their choices in life saving ways. CETurner.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Wow

I expected a good story but didn't expect for it to touch me in the ways it did. I feel I now have more compassion due to your story. I love Aaron and wanted to reach out and reassure him. Your story brought me to tears on a couple of occasions. I thoroughly enjoyed your style and flair. Keep going it is a story that will change hearts and minds, CETurner

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Needs Work

I urge this writer to go back over their work. There are a lot of errors getting in the way of this being a good story. I suggest reading your work out loud and it will be easier to find the pesky little mistakes. Despite the errors I am still interested to see where this story will go?

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Leaves you wanting more!!!

This is a very well written novel, it is not my usual genre but I am glad I came across it. I enjoyed your characters and viewing this new world through their eyes. I am however sitting on the edge of my seat while I wait for more.... I will be following you so I don't miss out :-) I recommend this book to everyone and believe they will be drawn into and carried along by this authors talented way with words. I love what you have written and look forward to more.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Excellent Read

This book is a really good read. It got me in early and held me till its end. I wonder will there be more books to follow??? I recommend this book to all the supernatural lovers out there, you wont be disappointed. I urge you to keep writing and wish you all the best in your bright writing future.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Exciting Beginning

This is a fabulous beginning to your story. I found the first chapter a bit information heavy but by chapter two I was in its hold. It picked up pace as it weaved its way forward. If there was more to read I would have read on. There were a few errors that another read over will easily fix. I urge you onwards and upwards with this novel.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Exciting Read

I think this is an exciting read that anyone would enjoy! I love Devin and the unfolding off his character and circumstances. I found the school creepy and had good reasons too as the story revealed. I think this is well thought out and executed perfectly. I urge any who love a good read to pick up this novel. I look forward to more from this author.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great Read!

As the blurb says it is not your average love story. It gets you in quickly and the grip tightens with each chapter read. I love your very real characters and the interpersonal interactions between the whole group. This story has many layers and lots of twists and turns to keep you on your toes. I recommend this to anyone who loves a REAL love story with a big dash of reality. I urge this writer to keep writing and wish them all the best in their writing future.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Excellent Beginning

I have so far only read the first 8 chapters. What I have found is an interesting and exciting Novel with an intricate plot and characters that come to life off the page. I was thoroughly involved after the first few chapters and as her characters were revealed it only pulled me in harder. I would recommend this Novel to any who loves a good read. I look forward to the rest of this novel and more from this writer in the future.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great 1st half

This is a really good story that after a slower start quickens up and keeps a hold of you. Your characters are likeable and believable. I think this could be a wonderful novel I urge the writer to keep at it. This is a good read I would highly recommend to all.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Very clever

This is a very clever and well thought out novel. This book got you in quickly and kept you guessing all the way through. It built in a crescendo and thought I didn't see the ending coming, once read it could not have ended any other way. I recommend this book to anyone looking for a good read. I look forward to more from this writer and wish them all the best in their writing future.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Read

I really enjoyed meeting your characters and the world you have set it in. I think this story is quite intriguing and gets you in quickly. I am keen to know how it will all turn out??? I look forward to more from this author, more on this story and others as well. I wish you all the best with your writing :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Very Interesting Read

I like the way you play with shadows in your novel. You do it in words and you do it in your storytelling. Only half telling the story but leaving us enough to want more... It is very skilful and tricky. I found your beginning and ending quite intriguing. I wonder if there is more of this to come??? I urge this writer to write! write! write! As it will only make you a better author. You already show lots of talent at a young age and a vivid imagination to go with it. Which in my opinion assures you have a bright writing future ahead. This is a good read I would recommend any who love a good story.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Wow

This story got me in quickly and held me till its end. I fell for Dylan and all he goes through. I must admit I read some of it through tears and sat on the edge of my seat when he was pushed to his limits. I would recommend this to any who love a good story. I urge this author to write and keep on writing. I look forward to more from you. Thank you for the read I enjoyed it immensely :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

A Soul Mate story

This is not my usual genre of story but I enjoyed it. I loved how complex your main character was as she went through a spectrum of emotions. I also really liked her best friends, one being her sister. They had such a deep connection and protected each other fiercely. As for the men in her life I thought you wrote the relationships very well. Giving us glimpses of the good and the bad. I thought your writing got better as the book progressed hence so did your work! I think this will appeal to a wide audience of those that love a good romance and a soul mate story.

Now for the things to work on... There were a lot of mistakes in your work, from misused words, to punctuation errors, missing words and more. When I first put up my work I am embarrassed to say I didn't even have paragraphs it was exactly as it came out of my mind, no polish, no editing, nothing. I had a few people who wouldn't read my book because of these errors. I have learnt and am still learning about how big the editing side of writing a novel is. If there are mistakes it detracts from the beauty of your work. It also slows the reader down as they try to work out what you meant when a wrong word or missing word occurs. I have done over 10 editing runs and as you found there are still errors in my work. What I find works best is to read your work aloud it helps you catch the pesky little buggers. Also if you have a friend that's got a good eye for that kind of thing ask them to read it over for you. Others with fresh eyes always seem to see what we ourselves miss. I have a friend who is going over mine for me and I am hoping with her help I will find them all. I think you have loads of talent, I think this is a good story that just lacks the polish and sparkle that will really make it shine. So jump back into your story and hunt down those mistakes, that right now obscure some of the amazing story you have developed. I wish you all the best with your writing future which looks very bright!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Intriging

I am quite intrigued by your story. I really wanted there to be more to read so I could know how things turned out. Which means you are on the right track when it comes to engaging your reader. This book had twists and turns I didn't see coming but just added an extra depth to your story. There were a few little errors and missing words but these are easy fixed with another editing run. I find, as do others, that reading your work aloud or having a friend with fresh eyes look it over are two good options for editing. Over all this is a good read, that I would say will be great, once it is finished. I urge you to continue your Story and wish you all the best with your writing future.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

1st 3 Chapters review

This is a review for the first 3 chapters. As it is only the beginning of this book I am still unsure of its plot. I am interested in where it will go and how things will unfold. It needs more description of your characters to add to its allure. I found you had some really long sentences and a few spelling and punctuation mistakes. These will be easy to hunt out with a few editing runs. I urge you to continue with this novel and wish you all the best in your writing future.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

With work could be a 5 star book

This is one of the hardest reviews I have ever had to write. So lets start with the good bits.

The plot is strong and original. The twist of Indra was something I never saw coming but delighted me. I loved Kindle in her complexity and the many shades of her personality. Jared was another complex character and with him I had kind of a love hate relationship. I think your sex scenes were done exceptionally well and the bluntness suited Jared. I also like how it was different for Kindle when see was with Indra. I think your ending will leave many wanting more myself included. This book has serious potential to shine brightly and appeal to many readers.

Okay, your work is like a beautiful garden that has become over grow with weeds making me have to wade through it Though the weeds I talk of are mistakes. They range from little ones like in instead of on, or a missing letter or word, to whole sentences that have repeated lines in them. I am sorry to say they are in every chapter. Others might not read on once they find those mistakes marring your work. So like every writer it is up to you to go back and start finding the pesky little buggers. The more I write the more I learn that editing is bigger than the imagination part because if its not written properly no one will read it to see your amazing imagination. Also I wanted to know more about Kindle in the beginning. I was desperate to know how old she was I didn't know her age just that she was at school. I also wanted to know how she got the nickname Kindle, I kept hoping you would reveal it to me. This all goes to point to the fact that you got me into the story quickly and kept a hold on me till the end. I got the feeling that you write quite quickly and I am the same. It means we write trying to keep up with our imagination and it comes out so fast that there are missing words or misspelt words etc. I have just given my work to a friend to see if she can find my mistakes it is quite hard to edit your own work. I just did 3 read throughs on my work editing as I went. Reading your work out loud is a good way to find those little mistakes or punctuation problems. I wanted to tell you when I first put up my story I am embarrassed to say that I didn't even had paragraphs and some people baulked at reading it, and I don't want the same thing to happen for you. So roll up those sleeves and tend to the beautiful garden you have created and clear away the mistakes that are marring your work. I meant my heading this could be a 5 star story but it needs your love and care and attention to shine at its brightest.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Beginning

I think this is a good beginning to your story but I would love more details. I think there is room for a lot of expansion in your story telling. We as writers need to always remember that the art is to show not tell. I liked your characters and your premise, but again I wanted more details about them. What they were wearing, their facial expressions, and more detail in your fight scenes. So you got me in and I wanted to hear more of the story. So I think this shows lots of promise. It needs cleaning up as in editing, with some long sentences, missing punctuation, and wrong words. I use reading my work aloud to help me find my mistakes and also have a friend look it over with fresh eyes. The more you edit the more polished your work becomes and it adds another level to the sparkle.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Epic Romance Saga

This is definitely not your average romance novel. It got me in early and kept a firm hold all the way through. I loved how I never saw it coming, each decision or action and the consequences that followed. This book twisted and turned at ever chapter. Yes it was a little dark but it also had light moments too. I thoroughly enjoyed this book and recommend it to all who like a different take on romance and love.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Captivating Beginning

I found your story to be fresh and original. The action pulled me in quickly. I felt compelled to read all you have written for answers to questions you evoked. I love the back ground of each of your different characters and the detail in which you describe them. You also let them tell a lot about themselves by their actions. I really enjoyed reading your story and look forward to more. Well done and keep at it, soon you will have a wonderful book on your hands.

I found there were a few words missing here and there. Also a few spelling mistakes. As I am still editing and polishing my own story I can only offer you what I do. Get a friend with fresh eyes to read it for you and reading your work aloud can also help you find those pesky errors. I wish you all the best with your writing and am sure you have a bright future a head.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great Beginning

This is a great beginning to your story. I love how Australian flavoured it is and being an Aussie I smiled a lot at terms and references. I am really looking forward to where this goes and how your characters develop. It shows lots of promise. I urge you to not only finish this but write as much as you can to develop your already showing ability.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Wonderful Read

I recommend this book to all. I found it well paced and was pulled in quickly. I fell in love with your characters early on and was glued to your story as it wound and wove its way. I could see and feel your characters from those I loved to those I didn't like. You write wonderfully, it was a pleasure to read. I will be looking out for more from you and urge you onwards and upwards.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Love Story

This is a well written love story with a twist. I enjoyed your characters and fell in love with Mira. There were a few missing or wrong word choices but this is a tiny thing and easy fixed. Reading your work out loud or having a friend with fresh eyes go over it for you will help you find those little mistakes. Overall a good read and I recommend it to those that love romance. Keep writing and good luck in the future!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Read!!

I thought this was a good read and as it is only the beginning who knows what heights the story may go to! I was enthralled by Draven but i was very curious to know what he looked like. I think the castle is well set up and has many possibilities for limitless scenarios. I think like any good writer the key here is editing, there are missing words, extra words and some missing punctuation. Reading your work out loud is a good way of catching those pesky mistakes, and even better a friend with fresh eyes is a good source of editing too. I am still finding mistakes in my own work and i have edited it countless times and also had a friend look it over. So i wish you lots of luck in this and urge you to make the corrections so your work is easier to read and more polished. The story is good, the platforms are solid and your characters are very believable. All in all you have a pearl you just need to wash off the sand. Keep writing and good luck with this story, I look forward to more.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Well written Saga

I enjoyed reading this story and encourage others to give it a read. The characters grow on you as turn the pages and you are swept up into a world of pirates, blue bloods and a range of other characters. It is a little slow at the beginning but soon picks up pace. Good luck and keep writing!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Very Enjoyable!

Here is a writer who has a wonderful way with words, easily painting pictures or imprinting emotions on you. The story is one that gets better with each page turned. I fell in love with the characters and was swept away into the imagination of the writers world. I recommend it to any who love a good story. I also believe that like fine wine this writer will only get better the more they write.. I look forward to the next installment of the story. Good luck and keep writing!!! :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good Read

This was a good read. There were a couple of missing words in a few places but other than that it was very good. Try reading your work out loud and you should find your mistakes easily. Keep writing and good luck in the competition.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great Read

I thoroughly enjoyed this story. I would recommend it to all. The characters are bright and like able. I enjoyed your world and the politics that played throughout. I also loved how there were little messages in your story line. Little bits of wisdom. I look forward to more form this author. There were a few spelling mistakes and a couple of missing words which will be easy found if you read your work aloud. Keep writing and tell the dog i said thank you, he was correct! :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Interesting Beginning

I thought this was an interesting and good beginning. I look forward to seeing where it goes. There are a few mistakes to be fixed. Remember to always start a sentence with a capital letter. All writers need to learn to edit their own work, reading your story aloud will help you find those pesky mistakes. All in all i think it is a good beginning that with a little polish will flow beautifully. Keep up the good work :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great Story

I thought this was a fresh edgy story that grabs you quickly and doesn't let go. I am looking forward to more from this author. Keep writing i think it has the makings of a brilliant book! :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Very Enjoyable Read

I thoroughly enjoyed this story from beginning to end. I thought it taught some good messages on the real truth of beauty, and recognizing real love begins with a deep friendship. The characters were fresh and appealing. The story flows. beautifully. Keep up the good work I look forward to more by this author.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Must Read

This book is a must read for those that love a good story. I found it to be a page turner and a gripping read that beckoned me onto the ending. I would love to read more!!!! Well done keep up the excellent work :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Saga in the making...

This story shows lots of promise and once its editing issue are solved you will have a very good story on your hands. You need to find a friend who is good at punctuation etc and ask them to read through it for you. Show you the mistakes you are making and ways to correct them. I also read my work out loud as it is a good way to discover mistakes. You also have issues with your ages, at one stage there are three years between Paul Jr and Lizzie. Then at a later date there is only a year between them. Also it says Jake Jr is twelve but that Lisa had been married to Paul for fifteen years. As the affair happened before she was married the age of Jake Jr does not add up properly. These are little things that are easy fixed. I thought your story moved at a good pace, and your characters were real and likable. Keep up the good work, with some editing your story will be heading in the right direction..

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Fantastic Read

This book was not my normal read but i am so glad I read it. It is fresh and original. I loved your characters and their names. It was fast paced and highly entertaining. I look forward to the rest of your story. I would recommend this to all readers. Great work! Keep it up :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Good read

This is a good read, not my normal kind of read but i enjoyed it. Your characters were likeable and real. The pace was a little slow but picked up speed as the book progressed. A lot of thought has gone into this story and the results are wonderful. Keep writing and good luck!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Interesting beginning

This is an interesting story and a good beginning. Keep writing :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Interesting concept

Your story is based round the interesting concept of masks and different classes. I love Ink and Rebecca and how different, but how drawn to each other they are. You build a wonderful world and explain it in ways that make the reader see it clearly in their mind. Well done and good luck with your writing

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Wonderful book

This is a wonderful book that I recommend to anyone that likes some mystery and adventure. Your characters are well rounded and likeable. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Good luck with your writing :-)

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great read

This book is a great read, its in depth characters are well rounded and likeable. The entanglement of the characters really sets the scene for an unfolding drama and makes it hard to choose a side. A great saga!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

A Great Beginning

I really enjoyed entering your world and meeting your characters. I am looking forward to knowing where it will go... Keep at it these words are the beginning of a wonderful story!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Great Read

I really enjoyed reading your work and getting a glimpse of this new world. I thought your main character was strong and well rounded. I did get a little confused when you swapped characters but once I realised it flowed well. I would how ever consider putting the persons name at the beginning of each chapter. It would just make it easier and clearer for the reader. Keep going I look forward to more.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Very enjoyable

I am happy and pleased to say I really enjoyed your beginning. I love your main character and look forward to seeing how he pulls off his latest challenge. This is a really good start, please keep at it as it will be a wonderful book!

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Excellent Beginning!

I really enjoyed and am hooked as in I want to know what is going to happen. Well done on doing that in just three short chapters. Really exciting prospects here. Keep it up your heading in a wonderful direction. CETurner

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Wonderful start...

I really enjoyed looking into this world you have created. It is interesting and appealing. I look forward to reading more and finding out what happens. :-) Keep at it! CETurner

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Heart felt poerty

I was taken in by your struggle and wanted to urge you onwards and upwards. I like the poem about your Father the most! :-) I look forward to your next lot of poetry. Keep up the good work. CETurner.

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

Wonderful Beginning

Hi Helen, What are great beginning, I am hooked already and am dying to know where it goes. I love your characters and your descriptions. I look forward to more. There were a couple of punctuation mistakes but nothing that cant be easily fixed. Keeping going it is really good! CETurner

Read the story now
Overall Rating
Plot
Writing Style
Grammar Punctuation

good Read

I thought this was a good read. It is a little slow but picks up pace as it goes on. Keep on writing and good luck in the competition.

Read the story now

No badges received yet

About Us:

Inkitt is the world’s first reader-powered book publisher, offering an online community for talented authors and book lovers. Write captivating stories, read enchanting novels, and we’ll publish the books you love the most based on crowd wisdom.