AvaSimbelmyne

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Great Plot, could use some work with holes in it though....

Soo.... I really enjoyed the plot, which helped me get over the holes in it. I thought you had a great idea with having (though cliché it worked...) Sabina captured...
a couple things....
your sentences were a bit choppy, could use better flow....more enjoyable to read then.
It skips a lot of detail/information...and for the cutting it was rather unclear on how deep/where/ and you should add more feeling/emotion to it. More hate from Point, and less screaming/tears from Alex...I cant really imagine him doing that. (though that's my opinion.)
I loved the idea of Tom going in...but a rifle seems a bit much....has he had training...because it took Alex years to get a gun even after so many missions and training. That seemed a bit unrealistic...but I loved that Tom got to go in for the rescue.
I'm not trying to flame this or complain, I really, really did enjoy it! I just want you to do the best you can, so I write this to help you maybe do that. Great job, just more detail, description, less choppiness and have the characters more in 'character' to their originals. Thanks for allowing me to review, and read your work!!!

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AvaS review

hello, I reviewed on FanFiction.net as well, I came here to re-read it/the fixes you made. I love this story a lot. The fact that Alex has someone to talk to if need be is good. I hope you might write more, like if Barry found out about Alex's doings and they talk or something...idk, but that would be cool. I loved the perspective. Great job!

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